Learning to drive

[Lucie390]

I really need some advice here as I’m totally stuck as to what to do !

DD wanted to learn to drive, all her fire do are learning and have nice new cars. We agree she could have lessons and would look at a car (not new but something little like a polo and she was happy.) Since she’s been having lessons her plan of going to a local university is changed and she now wants to go over 2 hours away. I have said buying a car (plus the £1500 insurance) is a waste of money as the car will be sat on the drive. Also I’d rather give her money for university, but whilst we can probably do both I really do feel it’s such a waste and we aren’t super well off, it’s hard earned money that we’ll have to save for and go without to give to her.

Shes v upset, goes to a well off school and is apparently the only one not learning to drive. I don’t believe this for a minute but I do see 80% of her friends do drive and lovely cars too.

o do feel for her but equally o feel we do the what we can, we paid for concert tickets last week and for her to go away next month with school friends. It’s difficult with wealthy friends as it’s just a given for them.

What would you do ? It means so much to her I’m worried I’ll regret I didn’t do this for her. Also she’s only in yr 12 so has another year of commuting to college which is 45 mins away, it’s not like she leaves for uni in Sept this year, she has another year yet.

If she can demonstrate she's serious by actually revising and passing her Theory, I'd resume the lessons again afterwards.

Only you know what you can afford but don’t overstretch yourself as Uni is expensive if they don’t qualify for maximum loan.

Does your DD have a part time job and if not could she get one and then contribute to towards her lifestyle.

Our two both learned to drive at 17 which is a useful life skill but we couldn’t afford two cars and insurance for both of them. They are both insured on our 2nd car and can use this if its free when they are home.

In most instances most Unis don’t offer student parking and most students don’t need a car unless they are studying a course such as teaching or nursing and have to travel to placement. Otherwise running a car as a student is an expensive and unnecessary luxury regardless what friends are doing.

DD same age. We have bought her a car so that she can practice and pass quicker.

She is applying to uni and if she gets a place will take her car.

With mine, Where they go to University, and whether they are able to pass their driving test or not aren't linked.

I mean, I wouldn't be buying them a car (and therefore obviously not insurance), as that is something they need to save up for, but it seems a false economy to stop the lessons now.

Does she work ? Mine all worked in 6th form and paid for their own lessons (with a gift of a promise of 10 lessons from us on their 17th birthdays, and with then asking relatives who would normally buy them a Christmas or Birthday present to give them cash towards lessons instead).

We are having the same debate at the moment. DD was mad keen to save for a car, now has her eye on an expensive course in a city with little parking and thinks she shouldn't bother to learn to drive/buy a car. I still think it's a skill to get under your belt young, and that you will learn quicker by practicing between lessons so you need use of a car. I was in a smallish city uni and me and loads of my friends had our cars there.

Learning to drive is a life skill and we paid for my dd to learn. It will also be very difficult and expensive for your dd to learn without being able to practise outside of lessons.

We actually bought dd a car three months before her test as we didn't have a manual car for her to practise in.

In terms of the car it is a completely separate issue and when we bought dd a car we expected a significant contribution from her both from earned income and her long term savings (about 1k from each).

My dd also went to an expensive school on a scholarship and had very wealthy friends but she knew we were well off but nothing like the level of her friends! Sometimes she benefitted from it (free holidays including on a yacht) and sometimes it was tough when she realised her car was worth 1/4 of the price of theirs, allowance 1/2 of theirs etc. But it's a good life lesson!

This all sounds messy! I can't believe you are addressing this all now. You promised her a car then withdrew that offer. You should've saved in the last 2 years to have the money for the car. It can be sold again pre Uni. The lack of effort on her part for theory is not good. and the £1000 on driving lessons so far and nowhere near passing is worrying.
What do you plan to do now?

Is she your only child? Can you afford a car? We ended up buying a little runaround car, it is our second car but is actually used by all of us a lot. It is in my name and I do use it the most. I used it to teach my oldest to drive and will use it again for the younger two. She also had 8 hrs with an instructor. She had insurance which insured her separately when learning to drive so it didn't affect our insurance. She practised a lot with me, and helped to drive to uni open days. We couldn't commit to buying three more cars and would not have the space to store them while they are at uni. She does though need to compete with us to use the car. Generally it isn't an issue as I wfh anyway and she doesn't want to drive to school. In fact since passing her test she only usually drives it about once or twice a month.

If she is really struggling with driving it might be worth considering an automatic if not already driving one. There is no longer the restrictions in terms of driving licence and increasingly cars will be electric and automatic.

Do the lessons, pass the test don’t buy a car for uni. Most of her new friends at uni will not have one and if she goes with one she will become everyone’s midnight Maccies driver.

it could take her over a year to pass. Once she’s got that piece of pink plastic she’s got it, so now is easier than when she’s finished uni.

been there, done it, twice.

I'd buy the car insured it and build the no claims.

She failed her theory (no revision) and so I said ok if you’re not putting effort in let’s not continue with the lessons. She said fine I’m not bothered. Now she wants to start them up again but will not stop about getting a car, morning noon and night and it’s driving me mad.

I would say to her that she needs to pass her theory - once that's done, she can continue to have lessons and book her test. Once she's passed she can have a car.

This. It's simple and fair, and gives her motivation.