Daughter due to start periods, any advice welcome!

[Choccymumma]

Hi all,
My daughter is showing signs of periods arriving soon and I wondered if there is any advice you would give to me that you would have liked yourself?
Pads, tampons, knickers, practical advice, anything really?

Period swimmers. My DD couldn’t have cared less about getting periods but was frantic at the thought of not swimming (didn’t want to use tampons, and still doesn’t). She still uses period swimmers now and nearly a decade later. She gets the Rubylove ones as reckons much better range (there was another brand but only offered one style in black), and great quality. Nearly a decade later she is on her third pair, so they last. She just makes sure she rinses them immediately she gets home from pool/beach, and then puts them in a delicate cold water cycle with no detergent.

I made my daughter a pencil case with pads, spare knickers and a travel pack of wipes incase she was at school when it started.

I agree with this! My poor DD has horrendous PMS mood swings and it was affecting her friendships but me explaining what was behind them has helped her deal with it a bit better. @Choccymumma, I'd also recommend loading up an app like Flo on either your phone or hers if she has one so she can track when she's due on, because it helps them be prepared and also be aware when PMS has reared its moody head. She probably won't be regular at first but it's still massively helpful.

My DD just changes them like normal pants. She puts on a fresh pair in the morning when she wakes up, then changes them mid-evening before bedtime. So yes, it is advisable to get quite a few pairs so you're not constantly washing! The initial outlay is expensive but they pay for themselves in convenience.

Thanks all,
I'm starting to feel prepared 😂

I was the same and DD's periods are heavy too, but she loves period pants. If you buy the right absorbency/make they are better than tampax etc. They absorb a lot!

Some good advice above. A selection of options to start is a good idea. How often she changes the pants will depend on how heavy the flow is. My daughter prefers to change more regularly for the first day or two, and pants are a fiddle to change when out so she uses washable pads as finds them more comfortable than disposables. On lighter days and overnights she uses the period pants. They go on a regular cool wash and air dry. I like the cheeky wipes ones over modibodi, but primark do cheap ones too if you just want to try them out without such a large expence. I have cheeky ones that are over seven years old and still going, so they do last well.

Agree with the advise of making a little pack of all the different options and talking them through with her and encouraging her to try so you can invest in the ones she likes.

I wouldn’t just signpost her to info and tell her to come to you with questions personally- I’d open the conversation and chat to her about it and then at the end signpost her to the sites for extra help. You want her to know you’re comfortable discussing it yourself.

Also I’d give her an emergency pack for her bag and talk about leaks and who to go to (school office/friends mum etc) if she has a leak somewhere and panics and gets embarrassed.

Lastly and importantly speak to DH and make sure he never makes any ‘time of the month’ type jokes and if it’s ever mentioned with him around to be cool, normal and not make a big deal. It’s so important men are able to cope with period chat and not feel the need to make jokes etc which teens will find embarrassing!

Thanks,
We have conversations about it so I'm happy she will come to me and I have a lovely hubby who has had to put up with me and my period woes all these years so he's an expert now 🤣

You sound like a great mom!! Glad you reached out x

Thanks so much!
My faith in mumsnet has been restored!

Do you mind me asking which Aldi ones you use ?

Google Betty bus, they have resources for teachers of 8-12 year olds, it may help

I made my daughter a little pack in a small zip bag with some liners / slim pads in. This was before period pants were so popular, but I would have included those too. I would have options though, as she may outgrow period pants before she needs them.

I also showed her how to position a liner/ pad properly and had loads available so she could have a go. She hated the idea of tampons, so those weren’t included.
We also discussed what the blood may look like- my first period was quite brown which confused me at the time.

I second starter kits. I kept one in my DD's school bag in case it started at school, and she had a basket of bits in her bedroom.

Also discuss with her the potential changes to her hormones/emotions. in my experience, my daughter really needed to hear this to help her understand why she might be suddenly raging, or sad for no reasons or fatigued all the time!

Definitely giving options is the way forward. I've always encouraged reusable options from the get go with my girls as I switched to a mooncup years ago. They find period pants ideal and generally last without needing changing through a day of school. We like Wuka and Cheeky pants brands. On the websites it shows how many tampons worth they hold, usually 2-4 depending on the flow they are intended for. We do a wash load almost every day anyway (and always wash on low temp) so just chuck them in a dark wash with everything else. No need to rinse or soak. Just wash on cool with no softener and dry on the line or radiator not tumble.

I also bought small size menstrual cups as another option, and tampons. Interestingly my 15 year old said she didn't like the idea of tampons but might try the cup. My eldest tried tampons and said she couldn't do it and therefore wouldn't even consider the cup. You never know what will suit an individual. I used tampons from my first period aged 12 so don't listen to people who say preteens are too young for them.

Except that they don't always absorb everything. And with friend's daughters experience they don't always control odor.

I'm in the US and a friend and have a website for young ladies experiencing menarche. We were assailed and threatened by some trans activists who found us and demanded we stopped telling these young ladies that having periods was a normal part of being a woman.

To save the worry and embarrassment of bleeding on her bath towel, a black flannel to put between her legs when she gets out of the shower. (I don't know if this is a standard thing or just something my mum came up with, but it was a lifesaver as a young teen with very heavy periods and an inability to get to grips with tampons !)

This is a great idea!

Make up a box with nice pads, small tampons, period pants (give her a few options) a hot water bottle, nice smelling and a cuddly . Just a nice, comforting box. You'll enjoy making it and she'll get use from it. I was much more prepared than my mum was for me.(given a door stopper with loops from the bottom of her wardrobe)

I agree about the period pants. My daughter started her period at 11 and finds them really good. Also yes being open in front of both me, dad and brothers. I would never have discussed periods with my Dad but have started now.

@Choccymumma I haven't seen anyone else mention this so I will. I really recommend starting a period tracker so she has some clue when her next one might be due. I did it on my Fitbit initially for her, and now she has her own app on her phone. It might not be super reliable initially because they can take a while to settle down. But we've found it pretty good for predicting and it sends a little reminder a few days before you're due on so you can be prepared.