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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Missed out of yearbook

77 replies

pinkpip100 · 26/05/2023 17:56

So this post could well be very outing, but I really needed to get it off my chest and I feel like if I talk to anyone about it I will start crying, which is totally ridiculous and something I really don't want to do.

DC18 had a year 13 leaver's assembly today and at the end collected their yearbook - brought it home and realised that they have actually not been included in it (every single other year 13 student has an entry, but their's has been missed out). It seems to be human error, school are very apologetic (I've spoken to head of 6th form). DC is saying they're not too bothered, but has a tendency to bottle things up and very rarely express any emotions. DC is neurodiverse and has had a really crappy time at 6th form, has ended their 2 years there with literally not a single friend and, although they do have a ticket for the prom, is unlikely to talk to anyone there and definitely won't be invited to any after parties. The whole thing makes me so sad anyway, and the yearbook disaster just feels like a complete kick in the teeth for them.
Not sure what the point of my post is, I suppose just to see if anyone else has a very lonely teen and feels really sad about it....

OP posts:
CannotThinkOfABloodyName · 27/05/2023 13:12

continentallentil · 27/05/2023 12:05

It is awful, but mistakes happen.

The school can’t be expected to pay for a full reprint given how tight school budgets are, although OP you could pay for it, and just have the school reissue it without commenting that you paid.

Show quote history

Well then they should’ve got it right in the first place.
Printing one just for OP’s DS is pointless, he knows he was at the bloody school, it’s for the other kids there when they look back - OP’s DS has been erased and it’s not ok. They’ll have to find the money from somewhere.
Hopefully it was the printers error and they will redo them but I doubt it was.

twoandcooplease · 27/05/2023 13:12

Because schools cannot afford it.

That's beside the point. They need to find the money for it

Your poor poor ds I would go bananas and be heartbroken on his behalf. I actually am genuinely sad for your ds. This should t be your mistake to make up for with nice things to make him feel better either btw but as a mum I know we do. It shouldn't have happened

Karatema · 27/05/2023 13:34

Not quite the same but when I was at school we had a 24hour pram race (6th form). The photo in the local newspaper had everyone's name on it bar mine! It still rankles 45 years later!
I was at a reunion a few years ago and the school album from that year had the offending photo - I heard someone say "who was that girl"! "Me" I said. "I don't think so!" Was the reply 😡

DrFoxtrot · 27/05/2023 13:38

Totally agree with PP that they need to find the money somehow to redo the whole print. What a mess.

Have they at least offered you your £15 back?

Peacepudding · 27/05/2023 13:41

School should find the money to reprint the whole lot. Tough if that's difficult - will teach them a lesson and make damn sure nothing like that ever happens again.

Imnoonesfool · 27/05/2023 13:50

My son did not have any photos of himself in the school year book because he refused to give them permission, which was completely different to being left out altogether. I know
if this was him he would just want to forget about it and certainly would be humiliated further if i was to insist it was reprinted

I think sometimes we have to listen to what they say. If he is telling you he’s not bothered then just support him in that. He may be internally upset but he doesn’t want to think about it and forget about it and that’s probably he’s way of dealing with it.

I know I certainly project how upset I am about something onto him and make him feel worse than he probably would have done in
the first place

sending him a big hug

Megapint · 27/05/2023 14:23

Ugh that sucks but in a few years time I think this will turn out to be a funny story. 'Here's my year book, see if you can spot the mistake'

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/05/2023 14:27

Even worse that you paid for it

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 27/05/2023 14:29

@pinkpip100 I'm so sorry I'd be so upset about this 😞

RandomMess · 27/05/2023 14:29

I would ask for a refund that's for sure!

Flowers for you both

MamTDM · 27/05/2023 14:49

Oh, your poor son - that's so sad for him. I would be absolutely livid at the school. I have a slightly quirky teen (I suspect slightly ND) who's never been one of the in-crowd and has a very small group of equally quirky friends, and I know something like this would have really hurt him. The school should definitely print him a free, correctly alphabetised copy, at the very least.

TeenDivided · 27/05/2023 14:53

Peacepudding · 27/05/2023 13:41

School should find the money to reprint the whole lot. Tough if that's difficult - will teach them a lesson and make damn sure nothing like that ever happens again.

I suspect they would make 100% sure it doesn't happen again, by opting out of being involved with yearbooks in future.
It's a mistake. These things happen. But too much of a fuss will mean future years don't get the opportunity.

PaigeMatthews · 27/05/2023 14:55

ididntknowthat11 · 27/05/2023 13:05

Your poor child Sad

Well the school need to, at the very least, investigate who is at fault.

If it's the printers, they are obliged to do a full reprint.

If it was the schools error, not as simple as they would presumably have to pay to reprint.

Whether I would pursue this though, I don't know, as it's not going to change the fact that your poor kid has had a pretty shit time at 6th form. Maybe just best to draw a line under it and move on.

Printing one copy for them achieves nothing.

Onwards and upwards, all the best for uni xxxx

I agree with this. If it is the printers error, they should reprint it.

QueefQueen80s · 27/05/2023 15:00

This is awful! After all his troubles too, and he's the one who gets left out. Surely stuff like this gets checked and rechecked!

PuppyMonkey · 27/05/2023 15:01

The printer would have either printed the artwork the school supplied or, if they were involved in the design, sent a proof to be signed off. This will be the school's error and it’s such a serious error I really do think they should pay for a reprint tbh.

Aaarrgg · 27/05/2023 15:15

Peacepudding · 27/05/2023 13:41

School should find the money to reprint the whole lot. Tough if that's difficult - will teach them a lesson and make damn sure nothing like that ever happens again.

It wouldn't "teach them a lesson." It would remove money from the budget which allows them to teach children.

Thunderpunt · 27/05/2023 15:24

Oh sympathies OP. My DS name was the only one who's name was missed off the Leavers Hoodie, I felt totally rubbish for him. (Ironically our surname always comes first on the register, so it felt really obvious) At the very least I would expect them to print at least one more copy for your DS with his details included

Iwasafool · 27/05/2023 15:28

TeenDivided · 27/05/2023 14:53

I suspect they would make 100% sure it doesn't happen again, by opting out of being involved with yearbooks in future.
It's a mistake. These things happen. But too much of a fuss will mean future years don't get the opportunity.

Show quote history

Well if they can't get it right it is a good idea not to do it. Not having a year book isn't going to harm anyone. They can all take photos if they want to remember people. Leaving one out is appalling.

Nutsabouttopic · 27/05/2023 15:31

I'm sorry this happened to you and your boy. It is human error not intentional but that doesn't lessen the hurt. Our DD left school without any friends, on the spectrum. Took a few years to find her niche. Went to college and graduated last year. The proudest day of my life to see her walking confidently across the stage to accept her scroll. She found her crew in college. They are not what is considered the norm but that's them and they are all wonderful and unique. She chats and interacts with her class, does group work/ project. Her friends are not from her course so they all have different interests. I hope your boy finds his crew too

Thunderpunt · 27/05/2023 15:33

@Aaarrgg at both schools my kids have attended, the school didn't pay for the yearbooks, we had to pay for the !

tsmainsqueeze · 27/05/2023 15:37

Really awful , new books for all, a grovelling apology due and a generous amazon voucher wouldn't go amiss either , i think they need to make a big thing out of this and put things right.
It is likely to be forgotten in the future but it's now that matters and your child's feelings matter.

Anewuser · 27/05/2023 15:39

That’s really disgusting and the school have no excuse. I’m assuming they’re refunding your £15?

There’s definitely no point in reprinting one copy.

One of my sons either wasn’t at school on photo day or school used the wrong one as his had his photo from year 7 - it looked bloody ridiculous.

Hooefully, your son will find his pack at Uni. The great thing is everyone instantly has something in common with each other.

LoonyLois · 27/05/2023 15:43

I would be demanding they reprinted the lot. It’s just not on

dooneyousmugelf · 27/05/2023 15:46

This made my heart sink just reading about it. I don't know where school would find the money from given it was funded by the parents but this is their problem to solve, not yours. The onus is very much on them to bend over backwards to rectify, even though the damage is done :(

cansu · 27/05/2023 16:40

All these posts saying the school must do whatever even if it costs them hundreds of pounds. The school do not have to do this nor does the OP have any lever to make them do so. It was an error. The OP has paid for a year book for her son. She is entitled to a refund or a reprint with her son included. That's it. Their isn't an entitlement to a remedy for hurt feelings. She bought a product and it wasn't right so she gets a refund or a replacement.