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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Do you give money for food each time your teen is out?

63 replies

AIU · 17/04/2023 21:39

Random one but having recently added up how much I have given my teen I've realised I cannot keep this up!

My son is 14, during the holidays did the odd day at home but mostly out with friends, at the park, football, cinema and into town. I would give him a little money each day but obv buying food and drinks etc when out all adds up. At the same time it's not cool for him to take a packed lunch, occasionally he would leave after lunch. He would normally take snack bars and a bottle of water but he is also diabetic so balancing food is a little more difficult for him and he needs to eat a lunch ideally. What do your teens do? Or do you just give money everyday for lunch and if so how much?

OP posts:

Zola1 · 18/04/2023 07:59

I do usually give her a couple of pound to get a drink or some crisps or whatever while she's out but she will usually eat before she goes and eat when she comes home, and maybe eat crisps or sweets in between while out. Definitely she isn't packing a dinner to take with her.

minipie · 18/04/2023 08:06

Why do people always comment on what they did years ago, food culture, availability of food , cost of eating out has changed enormously. It is a different world.

Because I’m pointing out that it is perfectly possible not to eat while out if it’s not affordable. Yes maybe habits have changed but that doesn’t mean all parents have to fund these if they can’t afford it.

You could say that nobody with different amounts of money, who lives in a different area, or whose teens hang out in different circles should reply either. Since their experience is also not the same as for the OP’s teen.

gettingolderbutcooler · 18/04/2023 08:10

We give £40 to last the holidays. Plus their usual pocket money of £10 weekly.

gingercat02 · 18/04/2023 08:11

Our 14yo gets £20 a week. We pay his gym membership and phone and lunch at school. He pays for everything else.
They go to blooming KFC or Maccy D's so £10-15 a go! He needs a job.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 18/04/2023 08:12

No, my dd gets £40 a month for clothes and luxuries.m, this includes food whilst she's out with friends. If she wants to, she can take food from the house, but if she wants a McDonald's she pays for it herself

Wc100423 · 18/04/2023 08:29

£100.00 month for doing dishes and dishwasher. We pay for toiletries, hair, gym, phone and singing lessons. I spent £500.00 on clothes each before they started college and said they had to last which tbf they have lasted. Neither like eating fast food or college lunches so they take a packed lunch and they mostly eat before they meet friends if their friends are going to a fast food place. They will eat Nandos with friends at a push and if it is in place of a dinner at home I pay for this but they prefer to eat at home rather than eat fast food. If they want more money they can earn it by doing chores. I have money in a cash drawer for emergencies and they are set on Uber so they can get home if they miss the last bus etc. They are sensible. I was never given any financial freedom or education growing up and I was not sensible or money savvy at all. I want my kids to be different to me and I feel giving them some financial freedom to learn how to budget and have some control will help them in the long run. They won’t have the luck of lower property prices and final salary pensions at 55 years old like we did they will need to understand compound interest and plan better for their futures. It’s tough out there for this generation.

Wc100423 · 18/04/2023 08:39

Wrong post sorry I’ve repeated on here instead of the other post!

AbsolutelyNebulous · 18/04/2023 08:46

Nope, definitely not. We give a monthly allowance and if she wants to eat out with friends it would need to come out of that. I don’t mind giving a bit extra during eg the long summer holidays but nothing like an extra fiver a day.

waterrat · 18/04/2023 11:02

It's not 35 quid frittering really - it's money spent on passing the time/ doing sdtuff with mates in the holidays.

I have this exact issue with my 11 yr old - younger but we live in a town where it's pretty safe so he is also out a lot - I totally agree you need to get them to be respectful of money/ understand that eating out daily is something most adults can't afford

But I also balance that with a couple of thoughts - a holiday club or activity which they do or did when younger could be 15 to 25 quid a day - and if buying my son lunch gets him out of the house for hours - gets him to park with mates and then he enjoys hanging out and having independence then Im happy to help - realistically if he was out with me I'd buy lunch or we might bring snacks.

Also - as you say - i want him out!

I don't want my son in the house missing out on being out and about and playing the xbox all day.

so - there is a balnce. Maybe sit down and say look this is a budget for you to have fun with mates in the holiday how do you want to plan it?

redskylight · 18/04/2023 12:59

It's not 35 quid frittering really - it's money spent on passing the time/ doing sdtuff with mates in the holidays.

There are plenty of free and/or cheap things that 14 year olds can do that don't involve spending £35 a week. Depends if you want to encourage your child that they must spend money to have a good time.

Bbq1 · 18/04/2023 13:03

My ds has a £100 per month allowance every month. That way he can pay for his own meals and socialising when with friends. We also give him £15 per week for 3 days of lunches in college. If he chooses a pricey lunch or stays for tea with friends, he pays.

Kanaloa · 18/04/2023 13:07

No, I simply couldn’t afford to give them money to eat out every single day. I can’t afford to eat out every day myself! My son is out with mates most days in the holidays. He can take from his pocket money sometimes to eat out and can come home and grab some food any time.

Rolly79 · 18/04/2023 13:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the author's request.

TonightImGonnaPartyLikeIts1989 · 18/04/2023 13:31

Mine would get £20 for the week as I have 3DCs

You can buy a pre-made salad in a box 2 for £3.50 in asdas so I top up on those and give a plastic fork or I make sandwiches or have snacks to go like sausage rolls, chicken & pastry slices, pitta breads and i decant some hummus into a pot, burger in a bun pack for microwaving (if he's around friends houses) or something like that. Mine carry water bottles.

He won't need £5 a day every day. And your teenage son is capable of arranging his social life around meal times too over school holidays.

As your son is diabetic I'd give priority to his eating well and regularly but he can make cool packed lunches himself

boboshmobo · 18/04/2023 13:34

No , they get an allowance and budget themselves

DelilahBucket · 18/04/2023 13:34

No but DS15 has plenty of opportunity to earn extra cash by working for my business so if he is wanting some more money in the bank he asks for work. It is then up to him how he spends it and budgets. With pocket money, he probably gets around £60 a month.

sixfoot · 18/04/2023 13:36

Wow at some the amounts on this thread! We are relatively wealthy but DD15 gets £25 pm, DS12 gets £10. I know their granny tops it up by £5 each. DD babysits for extra, DD works with DH gardening / washing car etc for £5 here and there.

i do NOT give them extra to buy food, they are welcome here to eat lunch or to take food / water with them.

learning the value of money is one of the most important lessons we can teach our teens imo. They know long it takes to earn £5 and are therefore more careful with that £5.

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/04/2023 13:38

"DS would quite happily get a job however you need to be 16 annoyingly as there are lots of student type jobs.*

Which country are you in? We're in the UK and mine have been working as KP's since they were 14.

Ted27 · 18/04/2023 13:38

I used to put £20 a month on a Greggs card, and same on a Tesco card, to give some options.
Then if he wanted a McDs or anything else, he would have pocket money and pay from paper round.

Original poster

AIU · 18/04/2023 13:39

Yes I do get DLA for my son however I cannot afford to keep this aside just for him it goes into the household pot at the moment in a couple of years I will have more spare however then I would like to help with driving lessons and the other son wants to be a pilot so that will mean I need to save too so I'm thinking ahead and what is realistic- I am a single mum of 4 with just my income to keep us going. Their dad has only just started paying maintenance after 4 years so I'm hoping things will be a bit easier but I'm worried to include this money as he has paid once before for 2 months then changed job and it's taken 2 years for csa to catch up and take it from his wage again. I also wanted to use the money to do some clubs - son would like to do a martial art, and similar for the others as they have missed out on all this before.

£100 a month does sound reasonable and I prob do spent that on the others buying bits as days out easily and I could probably afford this just about but I just so badly don't want him to waste it as although I could afford it it's still a lot of money for me. at the moment his Nan pays for his phone contract, I pay for his merlin pass, toiletries and clothes (generally anything special he wants he asks for for birthday/Xmas) I always have basic drinks and snacks in the house he can take out. I know one of his friends gets £20 a week but he is more sensible with his money. I am worried he will go and blow it all in one go on sweets. His friend came round the other day for a sleepover and spent £10 just on junk food for the sleepover - this is what I want to avoid as it's not good for his diabetes either - obv he can have sweets etc but I don't want him eating his own body weight in haribo everyday!

How do you educate your children in saving and what to spend etc? Do you just leave them to get on with it and figure it out themselves or do you sit and help them work it out?

OP posts:

StepStu · 18/04/2023 13:39

Our DD gets pocket money and has to budget but I do cave in and give them extra when out just in case.

Nap1983 · 18/04/2023 13:43

No. She gets her pocket money for that stuff from us and her grandparents. I think were quite generous with it. I want to teach her to budget also and sometimes you cannot afford it

Original poster

AIU · 18/04/2023 14:02

@Strugglingtodomybest what is a KP?

OP posts:

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/04/2023 15:32

Oh sorry, it's a kitchen porter!

Original poster

AIU · 18/04/2023 15:55

Oh where did you find the jobs? Just advertised locally? I just assumed you had to be 16 to work now, I started work in a cafe at 15 but wasn't far off 16. DS although old in mind still looks about 12 so worry that might go against him.

OP posts:

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