Do you give money for food each time your teen is out?

AIU · 2023-04-17T20:39:35+00:00

Random one but having recently added up how much I have given my teen I've realised I cannot keep this up! My son is 14, during the holidays did the odd day at home but mostly out with friends, at the park, football, cinema and into town. I would give him a little money each day but obv buying food and drinks etc when out all adds up. At the same time it's not cool for him to take a packed lunch, occasionally he would leave after lunch. He would normally take snack bars and a bottle of water but he is also diabetic so balancing food is a little more difficult for him and he needs to eat a lunch ideally. What do your teens do? Or do you just give money everyday for lunch and if so how much?

Motheranddaughter · 17/04/2023 21:41

For over a holiday period I would

jackstini · 17/04/2023 21:43

£5 day - enough for a meal deal
If she wants to go to Nando's etc then she pays the extra
Sometimes she will have a 99p cheeseburger but spend more next time

Echobelly · 17/04/2023 21:45

Yes, I do over the holidays for my 14YO. They do take packed lunch sometimes, but otherwise I top up their card.

Maybe if it's getting pricey for you, you should encourage DS to take a packed lunch - cool or no, you don't have unlimited cash! And it's good for him to have to make his own food.

Jenniferturkington · 17/04/2023 21:48

Yes generally £5 for a meal deal or similar. You’re right though, it does add up. I have pointed this out to my kids and encourage them to eat before they leave the house (this is obviously met with a look of utter disdain).

RoseMartha · 17/04/2023 22:22

Not if they were going out everyday as I could not afford it.

I would suggest OP that he goes out after lunch, taking a drink and a snack. Or you give him a set amount at the beginning of the week and explain how many days it needs to last and if he runs out he will need to take a packed lunch with him.

Doingmybest12 · 17/04/2023 22:30

Perhaps time for an allowance for him to budget certain things ??

bluebeardswife7 · 18/04/2023 00:20

Could you budget but have some stuff in house. For example a quid for a burger but a wagon wheel and some water from home??

bluebeardswife7 · 18/04/2023 00:21

My son is 11 but I am trying to swerve him in this direction

AmyFl · 18/04/2023 00:33

I put a certain amount in their bank account at the beginning of the month and it's up to them to budget.

Comefromaway · 18/04/2023 00:35

That’s what pocket money is for.

if they chose to eat out, they paid for it.

Original poster

AIU · 18/04/2023 00:58

This is why I wanted to see what people do, it seems like a lot do give money each day. His friends seem to always have money. I can probably manage it for the shorter holidays but summer holidays is quite a lot to do everyday. He is a very sociable lad with lots of groups of friends so generally he is out at some point most days unless we have a full day out planned. Even if we went out in the morning he would go out with friends later on which tbh I don't mind as would rather he be out playing football than sitting on his PlayStation.

He gets £10 a week at the moment but during holidays I said I would give him more - £35 a week doesn't sound too bad for holidays as I guess I probably spend similar to that on his siblings doing days out. I'll just have to start saving now for summer and perhaps encourage taking food before

OP posts:

DiscoBeat · 18/04/2023 01:04

Yes, I give him £5 or occasionally more if they want to go to Nando's.

minipie · 18/04/2023 01:12

Ok this is years ago but I don’t remember ever eating out with friends as a teen. We ate something before we met up (usually didn’t meet till midday) and that saw us through till the next home meal, maybe we bought a snack while out. Certainly I wasn’t given extra money to cover food. However, I wasn’t diabetic so that brings different considerations, obv he can’t just skip meals.

Plumbear2 · 18/04/2023 06:24

Mine eats before they leave, home for tea time and can take a snack. £5 a day would be more than half my grocery allowance for the week, not going to happen

Doingmybest12 · 18/04/2023 06:29

minipie · 18/04/2023 01:12

Ok this is years ago but I don’t remember ever eating out with friends as a teen. We ate something before we met up (usually didn’t meet till midday) and that saw us through till the next home meal, maybe we bought a snack while out. Certainly I wasn’t given extra money to cover food. However, I wasn’t diabetic so that brings different considerations, obv he can’t just skip meals.

Why do people always comment on what they did years ago, food culture, availability of food , cost of eating out has changed enormously. It is a different world.

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/04/2023 06:36

If mine want to eat out, they can pay for it themselves, either from their pocket money (£40 a month) or through what they earn. They've both had jobs since they were 14/15 (they are 16/18 now)

If they don't want to spend their money on food then they need to eat before or after going out, or take food with them. No way would I be giving them £5/day for food.

Oblomov23 · 18/04/2023 06:40

We are quite casual. Ds2 gets £40 a month pocket money Direct debit into his account. If at any time he's going out for cinema, Thorpe park, KFC, I will just ask if he's got enough money, slip him a tenner. Very casual!

unkownone · 18/04/2023 06:50

Yep I’m happy to provide lunch money and other bits if it means she’s out of the house 🤣 i’ll give my other teen Petrol money if she takes her out as well.

BlueskyBluesea · 18/04/2023 07:04

My son has a paper round now so that gives him spending money, before he did this we didn't give weekly pocket money but gave holiday money for school holidays, it was a set amount given at the start of the break and then he could plan his days out according to the budget.

redskylight · 18/04/2023 07:30

Teens have an allowance (and from 16, part time jobs). It's up to them to budget how they spend it.
They've always been in the position that most of their friends had similar amount of money though - I can see it would be tricky if they move in circles where the spending expectation is more than yours.

redskylight · 18/04/2023 07:33

AIU · 18/04/2023 00:58

This is why I wanted to see what people do, it seems like a lot do give money each day. His friends seem to always have money. I can probably manage it for the shorter holidays but summer holidays is quite a lot to do everyday. He is a very sociable lad with lots of groups of friends so generally he is out at some point most days unless we have a full day out planned. Even if we went out in the morning he would go out with friends later on which tbh I don't mind as would rather he be out playing football than sitting on his PlayStation.

He gets £10 a week at the moment but during holidays I said I would give him more - £35 a week doesn't sound too bad for holidays as I guess I probably spend similar to that on his siblings doing days out. I'll just have to start saving now for summer and perhaps encourage taking food before

£35 sounds a huge amount for a teen to fritter in a week - I don't think my teens with jobs spent that much! So you should bear in mind that understanding what others do is only relevant in the context of what you think is reasonable/can afford and probably also what your child's peer group does.

OhSmitty · 18/04/2023 07:37

No, DD (15yrs) gets £25pm pocket money and has to budget out from that. Her Gdad gives her £10-£20 once a month too. If she wants more, she gets a job.

Original poster

AIU · 18/04/2023 07:53

DS would quite happily get a job however you need to be 16 annoyingly as there are lots of student type jobs. We have looked for paper rounds but there isn't anything at the moment near to us and I cannot drop him further away as i have the other children and single mum so getting up early would mean everyone is up!

Perhaps i need to sit with him and work out a budget for holidays, I used to get £50 a month back when I was his age and things now days are so much more expensive so I know it's not realistic, cinema here is £16 a ticket. I am very conscious his sibling starts secondary this year so I will have to match it at some point soon too. He isn't great with money, always runs out - I think partly with trying to keep up with friends. Sometimes I will let him have a little more or sometimes I just say I don't have it and he gets by fine. Perhaps this can be a learning curve for him, may can be a tester before the summer holidays start.

OP posts:

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 18/04/2023 07:55

I give teen DD the child benefit for all her wants. It's about £80pm. She needs to budget that.

It's a lot of money but wants includes non essential clothes, food out, make up etc.

Wc100423 · 18/04/2023 07:57

We are not rich. I grew up always having to ask for money from my parents and I found it stressful and was scared to ask sometimes. I knew I didn’t want my kids to feel like this. I transfer £100 a month to my DC’s accounts for doing the dishes and emptying the dishwasher. If they want more money they can earn it but I do pay fairly I think. They run a balance of around £500.00 in their current account and they don’t like it when it goes under this so they ask for chores to do in order to boost it. They also have access to cash in a drawer they can take if we are at work and they are in need of it. I set them up on Uber as soon as I felt they could handle it in their early teens so they can always get home. They had a few slip up’s but on the whole they are respectful of money and the freedom having a healthy bank balance gives them. I understand you need to budget your money and I would advise you work out what you can give to your DC every month maybe offer for them to do chores etc and then stick to it monthly and the DC can learn to budget it better.