Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Have you ever taken a friend to an uncle’s house?! DS13 says it “isn’t a thing”!

65 replies

acornstew · 24/03/2023 07:07

This may be a weirdly specific request but I need examples please…

My brother and his family live in a lovely rural part of the country and have invited us to stay for a few days over Easter. I’d love my 13 year old DS to come with me, rather than stay home with his father, so I suggested he bring a friend along too.

DS’s response? “I’m not inviting a friend to stay at my uncle’s house. Nobody does that.”

I said that people often take friends on holiday with them. He said, yeah, but not to an UNCLE’s house!

So can anyone tell me how and when it has been done previously in the history of human kind??! And how did it go?

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 24/03/2023 09:10

Every year me and my bff used to get the coach to Penrith from Newcastle to go stay with her dgm!! Without any adults we thought we were great! - about 13/14 yo.

Original poster
acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:05

Thanks for all the brilliant responses - plenty of ammo there to show that is certainly IS a thing! My DB is great at football and DS loves to kick around with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:07

@Doingmybest12 you are very likely right, it’s the possible embarrassment factors… I should get him to bring his friend over to our house for a bit first, it’s a newish school so friend hasn’t even been here yet

OP posts:
Original poster
acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:08

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles he’s read all the Famous Five, we all have - I should have thought of that. Then again, they were all cousins weren’t they?

OP posts:
MoneyInTheBananaStand · 24/03/2023 15:08

I went abroad with my friend when I was 14 to my friends uncle and aunts house in Germany.

We had a great time!

MoneyInTheBananaStand · 24/03/2023 15:10

Oh and I forgot my best friend had/has a very cool uncle who lived with his partner in London, we used to go down occasionally and visit. As 16 year olds let loose in London we thought we were amazing 🤣

Original poster
acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:10

@Shinyredbicycle thats a good point, what level do freedom would they have - DB and SIL are pretty relaxed, that’s something we could chat through and see if it seems more appealing to DS when he can envisage what their days might look like

OP posts:
OriginalMama · 24/03/2023 15:10

Why does he need to bring a friend if he doesn’t want to?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 24/03/2023 15:13

acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:08

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles he’s read all the Famous Five, we all have - I should have thought of that. Then again, they were all cousins weren’t they?

I don't think Timmy was.

Well, I hope not! 😱

Survey99 · 24/03/2023 15:13

ah, the oft-spoken teen phrase "Nobody does that.”, second only to "Everyone does".

I have never comes across a time either were true.

PopethYnIawn · 24/03/2023 15:14

Yep, lots of times. Camping in their fields. They've all loved it.

LookingOldTheseDays · 24/03/2023 15:16

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 24/03/2023 07:32

I haven't done it, but the Famous Five were seemingly always staying at Uncle Quentin's house and had a whale of a time.

Get DS to read one of those books!

Their own uncle, not someone else's uncle!

I kind of agree with your DS. Inviting a friend on holiday is pretty normal IME, but not inviting a friend to go and stay with family for a visit.

LookingOldTheseDays · 24/03/2023 15:17

acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:05

Thanks for all the brilliant responses - plenty of ammo there to show that is certainly IS a thing! My DB is great at football and DS loves to kick around with him.

The more relevant question is - why are trying to use "ammo" to make your DS bring a friend when he doesn't want to?

MikeLitoriss · 24/03/2023 15:18

I was an only child and did this as a child/teen.
Went to stay at my uncles house by the seaside and took my best friend - had the best time, got spoilt and overfed!
my much older cousins took us round the town, took us to McDonald's and the funfair/arcades/swimming pool. I'm pretty sure mt uncle paid them to do it and also paid for the activities. Also they got a horror film dvd (the shining 😂) and snuck us some alcohol too lol!

NoSquirrels · 24/03/2023 15:19

Does your brother want an extra teenager to stay? Why won’t your DS come on his own with you?

JaninaDuszejko · 24/03/2023 15:20

I once stayed at my friend's (young) grandma's house for a week as a teenager and we had a great time. But we were farm kids so quite happy to do long rural walks, play scrabble by the fire and help with the housework.

BertieBotts · 24/03/2023 15:23

An uncle Grin The horror!

Precipice · 24/03/2023 15:24

Luredbyapomegranate · 24/03/2023 07:35

Did the Chronicles of Narnia start like that? Possibly.

No, they were evacuated out of London to a stranger's home. They didn't know Professor Kirke before and he wasn't a relative.

OP, why should he bring a friend? It's perfectly normal to go somewhere with family for a few days. A lot less normal to take a random child somewhere else for days.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 24/03/2023 15:26

😂 This really made me laugh. Something my boys would say...

Maybe an uncle is seen as either dodgy or cool these days.

But saying that my boys and their friends would probably rather spend a holiday with his uncle than me as he is more laid back and they can pretty much do their own thing.

I agree location makes a difference - does you son enjoy going there - maybe he thinks his friends won't have much to do, even if he is quite happy.

skgnome · 24/03/2023 15:30

2 questions:
what things are there for teens to do there?
how relaxed can the teens be there?
as much as he may like his uncle, is one thing to like your uncle, very different one to bring a friend if your uncle is not “cool” or whatever kids feel cool or there’s nothing for them to do / they are expected to take past in “normal” family life (more than the usual, act nicely for portions of the day)

saraclara · 24/03/2023 15:33

LookingOldTheseDays · 24/03/2023 15:17

The more relevant question is - why are trying to use "ammo" to make your DS bring a friend when he doesn't want to?

Show quote history

That. I don't get it. Why do you want him to being a friend when he doesn't want to? That sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

I get that you're sad that he might stay at his dad's instead of coming with you, but it's hardly a bribe if you're dangling something that he doesn't want to do!

waterlego · 24/03/2023 15:34

My DS (aged 14) spent a very busy and happy week at his friend’s uncle’s farm last summer. He’s hoping to be invited again this year!

butterfliedtwo · 24/03/2023 15:37

Doingmybest12 · 24/03/2023 07:46

From adult perspective completely normal and such a good idea. From a 13 year old perspective, depending on the likely friend and the coolness of uncle and on how embarrassing you might be then probably absolutely not !

This.

LeonoraFlorence · 24/03/2023 15:44

My DHs Goddaughter comes to stay with us and often brings a friend. She’s been staying since she was tiny and still does, even in her 20s.

Original poster
acornstew · 24/03/2023 15:47

Ah, well the reason I’d like to encourage DS to consider bringing his friend it is that I think it could go really well, they’d have a lovely few days and it would be a really nice social mix - his friend is great. It was more that “nobody does that” was such a knee-jerk reaction from DS, I wanted to find a way to get him to consider it more reflectively and feel able to look at the ways it might be great.

‘Ammo’ was obviously a poor choice of words!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread