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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Arguing about wearing earrings to school

33 replies

NewBalanceShoe · 13/03/2023 18:17

We bought dd 14yo some lovely earrings for Christmas. They were expensive and when we gave them to her we said that we didn’t want her to wear them to school. She was fine about it to begin with but now she’s started to wear them. We’ve explained why we don’t want her to wear them - the risk of getting damaged, lost or stolen but her argument is what is the point in having them if she can’t wear them out. She loves them and I think they have been much admired. School doesn’t have any rules just to add.

What would you do in these circumstances? We rarely have a different viewpoint to things so I’m struggling!

OP posts:

Beamur · 13/03/2023 18:19

Her earrings, her choice.
If she loses them, her loss.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 13/03/2023 18:20

Are they her earrings, or are they yours? She knows the risks. She's 14, not 4.

ClaraBourne · 13/03/2023 18:21

How expensive? Things that get left for best have a higher cost per wear and things / life should be enjoyed. She could lose them wearing on a rare occasion as much as wearing them at school!

Let her enjoy the gift.

Original poster

NewBalanceShoe · 13/03/2023 18:29

Interesting views so far! They cost £200 and we were thinking that she would have them forever

OP posts:

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 13/03/2023 18:31

Why did you buy a 14 year old a pair of £200 earrings in the first place? 🙈

As it is, they were a gift so I don't think you get to dictate how and when she wears them.

Anewuser · 13/03/2023 18:37

£200 is a ridiculous amount to spend on

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 13/03/2023 19:31

Life is too short to save things for best.

You've put a lot of pressure on a gift and personally I'd have bought cheaper that she could enjoy without worry.

thereshewasshewasjustthesame · 13/03/2023 19:33

A lot of money for them to sit in a box and not be worn.

gawditswindy · 13/03/2023 20:11

Can you compromise? Along the lines of only on a Friday or something like that? Then the compliments will keep coming as people aren't seeing them all the time!

legalseagull · 13/03/2023 20:55

14 year olds are hardly going for swanky evenings out to flaunt £200 earrings. Let her wear them to school

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 13/03/2023 20:57

I'd compromise and buy her a new(much cheaper pair) that are just as pretty and she loves just as much for every day wear and keep these for special occasions.

It was really daft to give her such a gift at her age, sounds like it was more for you than her.

waterrat · 14/03/2023 09:54

Let her enjoy the nice present you bought her. Expecting her to keep them forever - is a HUGE pressure on a 14 year old! I wear earrings and I expect them to get lost at some point, get pulled out with my hair, back gets loose and falls off - I have a whole shelf of single earrings! ANd I'm an adult.

I think you should just say - you enjoy your earrings so glad you like them.

What was the point buying them and telling her they have to sit in a box? She is a kid she wants to show them off

I also don't particularly like the idea of telling her expensive things 'matter' so much - she will have gone around showing off about it at school! that is why people are admiring them.

Sprig1 · 14/03/2023 10:10

They are hers. Her choice if she wears them.

WandaWonder · 14/03/2023 10:20

I would not but my child anything they could lose and I would be upset about

I don't see the point of here is this but dont wear it

I don't think earings need to be at s hool though but if school allows it then I would

If she lost them then I would not replace though

purplecorkheart · 14/03/2023 10:48

I would ask her not to wear them on the days that she has pe or sports training as I assume they have to be removed those days so there is a greater chance of them being lost. Also consider getting lock backs for them if they are studs

Suzi888 · 14/03/2023 10:49

Beamur · 13/03/2023 18:19

Her earrings, her choice.
If she loses them, her loss.

QuertyGirl · 14/03/2023 10:51

Never send anything to school you can't afford to loose.

If she looses them, don't replace

Squamata · 14/03/2023 10:52

Don't buy your child anything you can't afford to lose. Your mistake was paying that much in the first place.

I'd either let her wear them and warn you won't replace if she loses them, or pawn/sell them and buy five pairs with the money that you don't care about if they get lost.

Walesmam23 · 14/03/2023 22:25

I bought my daughter an expensive bracelet when she turned 13, as kind of a growing up present. She wanted to wear it to school, I warned her against it and said it really should be kept for best, she was adamant. I don't like drama so said it was up to her but if she lost it that would be that, I wasn't replacing it. Sure enough, she lost it about a month later, and now she's really upset and saving for another one. Sometimes they just have to learn on their own...

clary · 14/03/2023 22:37

I agree with those who say they are her earrings (aren't they?) so she should be allowed to wear them as she chooses.

If school has no issue then it's up to her imo. You thought she would have them forever? wow. I would be loath to put that pressure on my DC tbh.

I really really do not like the idea of things being for best. If she loves them and wants to wear them, that's great. Oh she might lose one. But if she leaves them in a box unworn, that's worse surely?

I think £200 is a lot for a pair of earrings tbh. I don't own any that valuable. But if I did, I would defffo wear them.

Talipesmum · 14/03/2023 22:59

I’ve only lost one earring in my life and I’ve worn them every day since I was about 15. How likely is it she’d lose them? Has she lost any before? It’s probably less likely she’d lose them at school than on a night out in a few years time. Are they ones that fall out easily - and if so can you get better backs for them?

She loves them and gets joy from wearing them. I’d say don’t make her save them for best. But she maybe shouldn’t wear them if it’s a day she has to take them out for sports etc.

Pebstk · 15/03/2023 20:03

Just let her wear them - life is for the living and tomorrow promised to no one.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 15/03/2023 20:13

With teens it's definitely a case of picking your battles.

Is this really something you want to cause stress over? If she loses them you should just be annoyed at yourself for spending a ridiculous amount on earrings for a teenager.

neilyoungismyhero · 15/03/2023 20:26

Agree with everyone else. Things are to enjoy and wear as you want to. Hoarding them in a box for best is rubbish.

JazbayGrapes · 16/03/2023 16:55

Well, that £200 you spent and you're not getting it back. So what if she loses them? Just don't buy her expensive things if you don't trust her. What's the school's earring policy anyway?

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