Ds likely to be kicked out of college

[dunnyknowwhattdo]

Regular poster but have name changed
please be kind I have only found out this afternoon I am shocked upset and don’t know what do
ds 18 college rang today about an incident that happened on Friday him and some of his friends took mda on college grounds it’s on cctv he’s admitted it when asked. One of them ended up in hospital so the police have been notified. He has been suspended while they do an investigation and is likely to be kicked out of college

I am shocked disappointed he’s been so stupid he’s in his second year so won’t be able to complete his course if they kick him out . I’ve felt sick all afternoon in work struggled to concentrate and think I’ve forgotten to do a password change so will be locked out in the morning

I don’t know how to handle this with him he is naturally a very laid back person so while he will apologise and admit he’s been stupid he won’t come across as bothered about consequences which will wind me up He’s generally a good kid has just started going out as recently turned 18 and he’s been sensible not got rat arsed kept me updated by text and come home when he said he would

what punishment is suitable how do I get him to understand how serious this is I’ve never done any form of drugs neither has dh.

Well done him for knuckling down and earning money, learning skills for a future career. It would have been so easy for him to feel sorry for himself or go off the rails. It sound like he has something about him and I wish him all the best in his exams and for his future.

I don't really you can punish him at 18 like you would with a 8 year old

I don't think time out, losing screen time, not giving pocket money doesn't work at 18

I think this is something he will have to one to realise no matter we think of what has happened

I don't see how you can make him 'get it'

Maybe the police laying charges might help

Mmmmm - try the navy then - they definitely do.@

He's not being prosecuted. He's got himself a job. He's taking hus exams online.
Don't people read updates? 🤷‍♀️

So pleased to read your OP.

I think this is the best outcome you could’ve hoped for. Hope it all works out for your DS.

Thank goodness for your son. I’m going against the grain here too - no point punishing kids who are in this kind of trouble. Far better to support and guide than risk alienating them.

I know you have had a shock and a great disappointment but all things said, thank god he is unharmed, that is the main thing.

Posters in here being judgmental and frankly ignorant about young adults are not worth wasting your energy on. You know your son. You say he's been a good kid, he has been sensible and responsible. I'm sure there is lots to be proud of. Who of us doesn't make mistakes? Particularly when we are in those volatile teen /young adult years? It doesn't change who he is fundamentally. He will come through this. Try not to let it be something that defines him or your view of him. He has paid a hefty price for doing something stupid and he is finding his own way through it. That's a good update.

I'm glad he's knuckling down and learning a trade now. Let's hope he's learnt his lesson.

That's great news. I'm glad college are letting him finish the course when he had done most of it already. Many of us did stupid things when we were young!

Thank goodness OP, another option may be an apprenticeship if the course didn’t work out . The pub chains do them . Good luck

A more positive update op. Let’s hope this might have given DS a wake up call and he knuckles down and achieves his potential.

Good update. Make sure he finishes his course. I was shocked he was kicked out. He didn't supply it, only participated so I assumed a suspension would be all. Seems harsh to me. I would've pushed back harder at college and asked for a lesser punishment. Hope he succeeds.

Glad to hear your son has a plan. It's really positive that both the pub and his college tutors want to support him - he has obviously made a good impression on them.

I don't think it could have gone much better really. It's all very positive and he has a plan now. He made a mistake but he's really pulled it together now.

College have punished him enough. He's lost his college place and his college mates. I'd help him to find a course doing what he wants. If he wants to be a chef, perhaps joing the navy as they do lots of training. My fil was trained by the navy in the kitchens. He really enjoyed working for them. Or try a different college.

Not really relevant now though.

I also think joining the forces would do him the world of good. I’m a pacifist, however, I’ve worked closely with the army over the pandemic and I have nothing but praise for their discipline and efforts in reforming young people in our society. He can be an army cook and mostly this means avoiding the worst of conflicts.