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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenage son hates football

75 replies

saffy56 · 11/12/2022 20:14

My son is 14 and he hates football. He is also autistic. We have been to a few family parties recently and he has been to a few parties or get together- literally every single place we have been all the talk has been football and because he is 14 and male everyone seems to think he likes football. It happens all the time but is obviously more talk at the moment because of the world Cup. When we were at a party the other day he got so fed up with everyone talking football- he actually stood up and told everyone that he hates football and he has no interest so stop asking him. I explained to him that he is in the minority and people are only being friendly and football is a massive conversation starter. What got me was when I went to the bar a bit later on was that they were all laughing and talking about him and saying how weird it was that he doesn't like football and saying he is obviously gay and one of them said he should be taught to pretend he likes it to fit in.

I ve been thinking all day that I don't actually think I have ever come across a teen boy who doesn't like football. Is there any?

All his friends are girls- for this very reason- he has never met a boy who doesn't like football.

I feel so proud of him in a way for actually standing up for himself and telling a room full of people to back off. He already realised a few years back that he will never really fit into society because of his lack of interest in football. I just feel sad for him really as he is a lovely boy but as soon as people realise he doesn't like football he is just written off laughed at or ignored. 😪

OP posts:

magma32 · 11/12/2022 22:09

Sorry I would dump these friends the moment I heard ‘he must be gay’ that’s not only ignorant but very homophobic. My ds doesn’t like football and I teach many boys who don’t either. It really isn’t a big deal and you seem to think he can’t fit into society because he doesn’t like football. Sorry but you need to get out more (and find different friends).

UsingChangeofName · 11/12/2022 22:09

What got me was when I went to the bar a bit later on was that they were all laughing and talking about him and saying how weird it was that he doesn't like football and saying he is obviously gay

I don't think it is your ds you need to worry about, your dh's family OTOH......

All that said, in terms of a teenager learning social skills, perhaps learning to understand that there are times it helps to keep abreast of "what everyone is talking about" - so, during a World Cup, lots of people who don't really follow football get involved....... when the Queen died, lots of people who aren't Royalists were still able to have a conversation about what was going on....... during the Olympic Games, lots of people talk about sports they don't then follow for the next 4 years........ so it might be worth helping him to understand that.
But equally, that it is okay to say "I haven't been following I'm afraid, I'm not really interested." You don't have to stand up and announce to the room you have no interest and instruct people to stop asking him about it.
This is about giving him extra help with his social skills, which is something you can do. It sounds as if your dh's family need help as well but you might not be able to influence that.

Mochudubh · 11/12/2022 22:10

My DS hates football.

He's straight, not that it matters, I prefer boys anyway and think if he was gay not only would I not be losing a son I'd gain another one.

Alexandernevermind · 11/12/2022 22:11

In the circles my household mix in its unusual for anyone to mention or follow football. Everyone is talking about crops, tractors, dogs training and shooting seasons. Growing up though my dad and his family were football mad, my dh and ds find it dull as dishwater with that side of the family when the men have their serious chats over Messi's big toe.

ThanksAntsThants · 11/12/2022 22:14

My DS is 15 and he doesn’t like football, and neither do his mates. My nephew is also 15 and doesn’t like football, and neither do his mates.

3sthemagicnumber · 12/12/2022 08:36

Our family mostly has a high level of interest in football (DH, DS, DD1 all play, DH is amateur ref, we are keen followers of our local team etc etc). DD2 has no interest.

DS is 14 and much of his social life is based around football. He does have a few friends who don't enjoy the sport, and would have no truck at all with the idea that a boy his age who didn't like football 'must be gay' (equally, would not see being gay as a problem).

The problem, as everyone has said, isn't with your DS!

HeidiWhole · 12/12/2022 08:58

I also have an autistic teen boy who's not in the leat bit interested in football. He is straight but socially much prefers the company of girls as they tend to be more accepting of difference (in boys at least) and he just can't be doing with alpha male behaviour. They also often do most of the talking so he doesn't have to

The family sound awful btw.

W0tnow · 12/12/2022 09:24

My son is 15 and is completely uninterested in sport, full stop. He’s Neurotypical. Just no interest. None. Playing it, watching it. 🤷‍♀️

W0tnow · 12/12/2022 09:27

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Yarrawonga · 12/12/2022 09:42

He already realised a few years back that he will never really fit into society because of his lack of interest in football

Don’t be ridiculous. What kind of society do you live in?

Not all men are interested in football. My husband has no interest in it at all. He never has. They didn’t play it at the school he went to, which he has said was a relief.

MsBubbles85 · 12/12/2022 12:11

In my NCT group, only my husband and another one are interested in football, all the other ones are not really into it and they all managed to talk about something not baby related! So you don't need to worry, he will fit into society and find his group

Mercy1968 · 12/12/2022 19:59

My ds is 34 now and has always hated football.
He's not gay but I wouldn't care if he was.
He s always had plenty of friends that don't like it either and isn't the type to pretend to like something he doesn't.

Your ds sounds perfectly fine as he is, the people mocking a 14 year old are the odd ones. He's a kid.

Fwiw my son is into a lot of things way tougher than playing football like hiking up mountains to take wildlife pictures and at your son's age he was heavily into skateboarding and off road biking.

I would probably have said something to these stupid people. Everyone has different interests.

XelaM · 13/12/2022 06:22

My brother is now 27 and has never liked football. He's actually super sporty, but is into basketball and other sports like triathlon. He couldn't care less about football and it has never been an obstacle to him having friends.

SnoozyLucy7 · 13/12/2022 06:26

There’s nothing weird about not liking football. Your friends actually sound stupid for saying those things.

Ciri · 13/12/2022 06:29

He already realised a few years back that he will never really fit into society because of his lack of interest in football.

This is bizarre. You do realise that there are millions of household in the UK where nobody has the slightest interest in football? I have two teenage DSs 18 and 16 and neither like football. They're into rugby and cricket (16 YO) and gaming (18 YO).

People were just trying to make small talk with him.

GeorgeorRuth · 13/12/2022 06:38

In our house, it's more likely to be me and a female friend with beer and a pizza watching the football, DH will retreat to the bedroom and watch a soap or Catherine Cookson. He has no interest in football or sports in general.

It's not because your DS is autistic. He and many others just don't have interest in overpaid young men booting a ball around. Fair enough.

AnuSTart · 13/12/2022 06:41

I've got three sons and I don't know any man/boy who likes football!
You need to widen your social circle.

daffodilandtulip · 13/12/2022 06:46

DS14 never been in the slightest bit interested. DD17 has played in the past and will keep up with big ones like the World Cup but football's not a regular watch in our house.

BMrs · 13/12/2022 06:46

My eldest doesn't like football at all, it's just not his thing. Both me and my husband played for years and both work in football now and we don't give a fig.

Don't worry about it- I'm sure he has other interests he can talk about.

WandaWonder · 13/12/2022 06:53

My son goes to matches with his dad, but is not into football mainly

I have never ever met a group of people who are totally into football and there not being some who don't like it

LlynTegid · 15/12/2022 18:02

I know of several people's boys who don't like football. Mainly a preference for rugby, but some no real sporting interest.

WhiteCatmas · 15/12/2022 18:04

Your friend is a dick.
Many men/boys do not like football.

BeanieTeen · 15/12/2022 18:11

My DH is really into football - he says loads of men he talks aren’t that into it, they kind of just pretend. He can tell when someone really is passionate and knows what they’re talking about, many don’t. They only really keep up with it enough to keep up with conversation. There’s definitely a pressure to be into football. Such a bizarre thing among men. Not sure about teenagers.

EstoPerpetua · 15/12/2022 18:17

My son has never been interested in either playing or watching or talking about football even for a fraction of a second. He is slightly interested in cricket, but only a bit. His interests are (and always have been) music (he's now a musician), current affairs, and reading.

OriginalUsername2 · 15/12/2022 18:24

They sound like the sort of “blokes” my ex was friends with. They don’t think too deeply. Conversation skills are limited to football, cars and women!

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