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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage son hates football

75 replies

saffy56 · 11/12/2022 20:14

My son is 14 and he hates football. He is also autistic. We have been to a few family parties recently and he has been to a few parties or get together- literally every single place we have been all the talk has been football and because he is 14 and male everyone seems to think he likes football. It happens all the time but is obviously more talk at the moment because of the world Cup. When we were at a party the other day he got so fed up with everyone talking football- he actually stood up and told everyone that he hates football and he has no interest so stop asking him. I explained to him that he is in the minority and people are only being friendly and football is a massive conversation starter. What got me was when I went to the bar a bit later on was that they were all laughing and talking about him and saying how weird it was that he doesn't like football and saying he is obviously gay and one of them said he should be taught to pretend he likes it to fit in.

I ve been thinking all day that I don't actually think I have ever come across a teen boy who doesn't like football. Is there any?

All his friends are girls- for this very reason- he has never met a boy who doesn't like football.

I feel so proud of him in a way for actually standing up for himself and telling a room full of people to back off. He already realised a few years back that he will never really fit into society because of his lack of interest in football. I just feel sad for him really as he is a lovely boy but as soon as people realise he doesn't like football he is just written off laughed at or ignored. 😪

OP posts:
Original poster
saffy56 · 11/12/2022 20:36

He enjoys dance and drama and has loads of friends from his drama group but even the boys there seem to love football and often miss classes and rehearsals due to the football. He is just finding it really hard finding his way in his words " a football obsessed society". My dad and brother have never been into football but my brothers stepsons love it so now my brother and dad are "pretending to love it too" so the only males he did know who didn't like football have now been converted into footballism!!! My husband and his family are all football mad. I just wish he could find just one boy/man who wasn't football obsessed.

OP posts:
Purplemagnolias · 11/12/2022 20:37

What got me was when I went to the bar a bit later on was that they were all laughing and talking about him and saying how weird it was that he doesn't like football and saying he is obviously gay

Where on earth do you live and what sort of person do you meet up with ShockShockShock??

Hoppinggreen · 11/12/2022 20:40

DS is 14 and has never liked football (although his sister did), despite DHs efforts.
He also wasn’t keen on the “football” clique at Primary or Secondary, they aren’t the nicest bunch. He refused to go to any football parties at Primary
He has found another sport he loves and has a lovely and quite large friendship group so is quite happy. He will engage with people who talk to him about football if he must but he’s not very interested
Those boys you describe sound awful

ChaToilLeam · 11/12/2022 20:40

I know women who are football crazy as well as men who have no interest whatsoever! My DP is one of them. Suits me fine as I have zero interest in any kind of spectator sport. Your friends sound very narrow minded, I hope you stood up for your son!

PolkaDotMankini · 11/12/2022 20:43

Your families sound pretty horrible TBH. Saying your son is "gay" because he doesn't like football? Confused My 12yo DS is football mad but has friends who aren't into it. They just play Minecraft instead!

orbitalcrisis · 11/12/2022 20:45

Your family sound like my worst nightmare! Can they really not find anything else to talk about? And the fact that they assume that any male who dislikes football must be gay! Where do you live? 1975?

Isthisjustnormal · 11/12/2022 20:46

I wonder whereabouts (what type of place rather than specific location) you live. Ime towns where there’s an obviously local club or two can be the most football focused.

My Ds has never been into football. His teen mates (the boys are mostly into more geeky stuff - d & d, gaming, art and anime type) were by and large uninterested in football too: it’s never been an issue.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 11/12/2022 20:47

Wheredoallthepensgo · 11/12/2022 20:23

Are you mixing with time travelling Neanderthals? He must be gay if he doesn't like football REALLY? How pig ignorant and homophobic are they? I'd find some better quality people to mix with.

Loads of boys aren't into football. They are into gaming or science or art or rugby or .... name whatever you want.

Football obsession to the detriment of everything else makes dull as fuck conversation and very, very dull people.

This. Nothing wrong with not liking football and nothing wrong with being gay - but one isn't suggestive of the other. Nasty dimwits.

123woop · 11/12/2022 20:47

I know loads of teen boys who don't like football. It's pretty common imho and we live in a very "football" area!

Original poster
saffy56 · 11/12/2022 20:49

One of the parties was my DH's aunt and uncles golden wedding and there were lots of cousins etc who my DH hasn't seen for years and I suppose when trying to make conversation if you talk football to a 14 yr old alot of the time you strike lucky and because my DH likes football it is presumed that our son does too. I hope as he gets older and meets more and more people he will realise that there are other males out there who don't enjoy football.

OP posts:
McGonagallshatandglasses · 11/12/2022 20:50

16yo feigns an interest for social reasons
14yo won't, and his friendship group is focussed around D&D mostly so I don't think any of the boys care about football.

3beesinmybonnet · 11/12/2022 20:51

Be proud your DS doesn't blindly follow the herd. There are plenty of teenage boys who don't like football, you just need to find them.

My DS never liked football and he found his tribe in the ACF. One time England were in a big match on an ACF night and the leaders said if they preferred to watch the match they could - DS said they all voted to do the ACF activities.
Please encourage him to be himself and defend him against narrow minded halfwits.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 11/12/2022 20:57

I know lots of men who aren't into football. Most of the men in my social circle aren't.

they were all laughing and talking about him and saying how weird it was that he doesn't like football and saying he is obviously gay and one of them said he should be taught to pretend he likes it to fit in

This was a family party? Your family are shits!

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 11/12/2022 21:00

I have 5 boys. None of them are interested in football at all. My exh wasn't either, or my stepson. My DP isn't, nor his is son.

I know plenty of teens who aren't into football. It's annoying when people thinks boys have to be into football to have friends. None of mine have ever had a problem making friends despite not liking it.

IneedanewTV · 11/12/2022 21:12

My brother didn’t watch the football, my
step SIL never watches football and my two sons have no interest.

LBFseBrom · 11/12/2022 21:15

My son was never interested in football (nor was my husband), but was good at other things, a laid back personality, and it never bothered him, nor did it seem to bother any of his friends.

HarvestThyme · 11/12/2022 21:15

I know quite a few teen/20-something boys who don't like football. Or sport more generally. It's common enough. I feel sorry for your son, stuck in the oppressive company of stereotyped men and boys. But what an amazing young man he is to stand up and tell them all off!

This is what they mean, ya know, when they say autism is a superpower. He'll never fake an interest to fit in! Good on him.

DriftwoodOnTheShore · 11/12/2022 21:16

Neither of my DS's had any interest in football. They still don't as adults and neither do DH and I.

It isn't unusual among our close friends only one has any interest in it.

I'm baffled as to why anyone bothers with it.

underneaththeash · 11/12/2022 21:32

the only person in our house who watched the football yesterday as DD! DS(16) and DS2(14) have little interest - DH and I went out.

they have plenty of friends.

Comedycook · 11/12/2022 21:35

My Ds is 14 and massively into football. All his friends are too. Vast majority of teenage and primary age boys are. In my ds primary class I'd say all the boys bar two were football mad. I can see how it's hard for the boys who aren't. Even on holiday or random trips to the park, ds would find some other boys and play football...it's a very easy way for boys to socialise.

Findyourneutralspace · 11/12/2022 21:40

The problem isn’t your son, it’s the men who think it’s ok to mock him.
Football is a big talk topic among men. My DSs aren’t that fussed but DS1 and I get into it during major tournaments. But most adults should have enough social skills to be able to find different conversation starters. Even if it’s, ‘how’s school going’ or ‘isn’t it cold at the moment?’
Your DS isn’t the problem.

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/12/2022 21:40

My son (14) NT is not at all interested in football.

Some of his friends like football and some of them don't.

C1N1C · 11/12/2022 21:41

Yay... people kicking a ball down some grass and getting paid millions for it... and people getting all worked up about 'their club', when you can guarantee not one player there is actually from their home town.

I don't get the big deal.

Ponderingwindow · 11/12/2022 22:03

The problem isn’t your son, it is your family.

Your son is going to discover that there are well-rounded people who enjoy football or other sports and still have a variety of other interests. He will also meet interesting people who don’t follow any sport at all. They are easier to find as you get older and have more options for meeting people.

He is also going to keep meeting those who seem lulled into a stupor by a mix of sport and reality. They are everywhere, but as he ages he can choose how to allocate his time.

Themisthefacts · 11/12/2022 22:04

I think it’s more common now that in the past for teens not to interested in football . The few teens I know seem to be more interested in computer games .

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