Should I speak to my daughters manager?

[sarahwoody75]

My 16 yo has a weekend job. She has been asked to work a shift starting at 5am on a day when we are unable to give her a lift. We are not comfortable with her walking to work at that time (20-25 min walk). When she told her manager she couldn’t do that shift, her manager hung up the phone on her. This seems a bit unprofessional but would it be sensible to try and speak to her manager? We would just try and explain why daughter can’t work that shift and ask if we can provide dates she can’t work early to try and help future planning of shifts. I am wary of making things worse but manager has been not very approachable in past when daughter has tried to talk to her herself. Thanks if you got this far!

That was my thought too.

This might be an unpopular view but I'd encourage DD to look for another job immediately. A manager who hangs up on you rather than discuss shifts is really bad, and she needs to learn to stand up for herself. A taxi would probably cost a good hour's wages. Would the firm cover that, given the unsociable hours? When I worked in catering, restaurants paid for staff cabs home after 12.30pm.

Manager has the message that she can't start at 5am that day. Hanging up was rude, but nothing else for you to do. Assure dd she is not being unreasonable and that as long as she works most of the shifts asked manager cant complain.

If manager is regularly huffy with staff and unapproachable dd should start looking for a new job.

Please don't speak to the manager yourself, if your daughter is old enough to be doing a part time job then she's old enough to be dealing with her manager herself.

It's a really great life skill and you would be doing her a disservice by taking away her learning opportunity. By all means be supportive and offer advice but the actual conversation/problem solving exercise needs to be between her and her boss.

Thank you all so much for your super quick responses. I see almost everyone thinks is wrong to intervene. It’s great to get other perspectives. Just to clarify a couple of points as people have asked, she was not told at interview that early starts were required, probably wouldn’t have taken the job if it was although I concede she may not have asked the right questions! Daughter has successfully navigated some other employment issues in the past but is finding manager increasingly difficult to approach, they are often not working same shift so doesn’t see very often, daughter did ask for contact details but was told no (I do quite understand they wouldn’t want to give out their personal number though). I can after reading responses now see things more from managers pov and can see would be annoying for her to have people request shift changes based on transport issues. Regarding legality of working it is legal for her to work before 6am if there is no adult available to work instead- I have my doubts that there is no adult available (daughter is only under 18 that works there) but that is a whole different issue and wouldn’t be able to proof anyway. Somebody commented why not just get out of bed and take her? We usually do if she has to be there before dark it is just this one occasion we cannot due to our own work commitments. As for just let her walk,
there won’t be attackers around at that time- how on earth would you know? Whilst incidents of being attacked may be rare it is not a risk I am willing to take which is my choice as a parent. We will look at taxis/new job if she is unable to resolve things. Thanks again for all who have taken time to respond it is much appreciated

If they are working they need to be learning about how to take responsibility for such situations, its how they learn. Its not school, parents shouldnt be calling up on behalf
of their children.

whilst its great you want to look out for your kid, its not professional as many have stated on the thread as well.

the OP didnt even mention if her daughter wanted her mum to get involved, at 16 I would have been embarrassed for my mum to call
up work to discuss something.

They’ve asked her to start at 5am for a reason they need her in
She needs to get a taxi

Quite. And since it is her mum (the OP) forbidding her from walking there, the OP needs to arrange and pay for the taxi.

She didn’t know about the start time, possibly she didn’t ask right questions at interview but contract does not specify hours just that is minimum 8h per week.

Is it Greggs? DD's boyfriend works there and has a similar 8 hour per week contract with 5am starts.

I understand your concerns. I wouldn't want my dd walking around in the dark before 5am either, but if that is what the job requires, then it isn't unreasonable of the manager to put her on that shift. It is unreasonable to put the phone down on her though!

Realistically, your dd might be better off looking for a new job with slightly more sociable hours. My dd works in a small independent cafe. No antisocial hours, lovely supportive boss, friendly happy team. The pay is rubbish though!

My DD applied for a job the week that she was 16. She started 4 days after her 16th birthday. She was really nervous and scared at the beginning and we had an issue with shifts being given within 15 minutes after finishing school and as we work full time we couldn't get her there in time and it is a 40.min walk from school. She found it really hard to articulate this so unbeknown to me my DH went and spoke to her manager. I was really cross as I thought that this is something she needs to sort but actually the manager was really nice and said to my daughter how lovely her dad is and how at 16 she understands how hard being in your first job is. I think in this instance he was right and just going in and explaining what my dd found hard to articulate helped both parties. They are still very young at 16- and I think if they need a little bit of adult help or guidance isn't a bad thing.

@Covetthee but that's the thing; he wasn't managing his time he's failing college and his workplace are taking advantage of him, so I don't care whether he wants me involved or not, I will be 🤷🏽‍♀️ I've just phoned them now actually coz he's ill and too scared to ask to leave but no answer. I don't care what's Professional or not according to you 🤷🏽‍♀️

Time to look for another job. And when leaving, make it clear why.

The law seems to have too many loopholes- sudden increase in demand or phrases like that are used by so many companies who intentionally keep the number of call centre staff down.

I wouldn't want my 16 year old to work at 5am. She's a kid!

The manager has no obligation to speak with you.

The amount of mum's who would call me at work to try and get their children out of working new years day or bank holidays etc. When they hadn't booked it off 🙄

It'll just make things awkward for your daughter because the manager most likely won't budge and will speak with her about it. If she is unable to do hours/shifts that she is contractually obliged to do then perhaps it's not the right role for her?

Don't get me wrong, I understand where you're coming from - it's not a safe time to be walking to work etc.

@seperatedmum your not doing him any favours babying him. You should be helping him manage his time and advising him but not actually doing it for him.

no doubt in a few years his partner will be complaining about his lack of responsibility in life (lke so many do on MN) and all that starts with what they learn at home and school/work.

You’re*

@sarahwoody75

You mention:

Daughter has successfully navigated some other employment issues in the past but is finding manager increasingly difficult to approach, they are often not working same shift so doesn’t see very often

If this is the case. perhaps your daughter could ask for her manager's email address. You could then help her word suitable emails without the manager realising they are from you. That's what I have done with my teenagers!

As a manager I would not be impressed if someone’s mum rung me. If they are old enough to work then they need to speak to me as an adult. As I have kids I may be more understanding than my colleagues who do not have kids but even that’s not guaranteed. Years ago, kids started full time proper/real jobs at 16 if they chose not to stay in further education. I’m sure their mums didn’t ring the boss.

I would help her to be assertive. Help her to work out what to say if the manager refers to the shift again. She needs to be able to be clear and polite. It might also be useful to decide whether she needs to find a new job. Unfortunately there are plenty of shit, unprofessional people in jobs as managers.

It sounds like your parenting fails are not going to be fixed by a phone call.

Yes you may talk to her unprofessional manager, EEOP has a law that protect minors from this type of encounters if they feel uncomfortable talking to their supervisor about the issue they can have a parent speak on their behalf for emotional support.

Zombie