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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should I speak to my daughters manager?

73 replies

sarahwoody75 · 08/12/2022 07:51

My 16 yo has a weekend job. She has been asked to work a shift starting at 5am on a day when we are unable to give her a lift. We are not comfortable with her walking to work at that time (20-25 min walk). When she told her manager she couldn’t do that shift, her manager hung up the phone on her. This seems a bit unprofessional but would it be sensible to try and speak to her manager? We would just try and explain why daughter can’t work that shift and ask if we can provide dates she can’t work early to try and help future planning of shifts. I am wary of making things worse but manager has been not very approachable in past when daughter has tried to talk to her herself. Thanks if you got this far!

OP posts:
Onnabugeisha · 08/12/2022 08:31

Can one of you walk her to work that day? 20-25min each way isn’t far.

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 08:32

does she have to start at 5 or doesnt she know now the manager has hung up on her?

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 08:33

and no, dont talk to her
it is a learning curve

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 08/12/2022 08:34

Are there not legislations around working time regulations for under 18s? I know in my work we have to alter shift patterns and we don't start before 7.30 am or finish after 9pm.

lookersnoopy · 08/12/2022 08:35

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 08/12/2022 08:34

Are there not legislations around working time regulations for under 18s? I know in my work we have to alter shift patterns and we don't start before 7.30 am or finish after 9pm.

Yes there are. But they can include 5am starts.

DenholmElliot11 · 08/12/2022 08:35

If you don't want her to walk then you'll have to get out of bed and take her yourself or she can get a taxi.

I'm pretty sure her manager won't be happy that someone's mum is calling asking if they can start later because they don't want to get up and give her a lift!

Whats the problem with walking for 20 minutes?

PacificallyRequested · 08/12/2022 08:39

This is a good lesson for your DD that managers and colleagues won't mollycoddle her like her mum does! It's not the manager's concern how your DD gets to work, and the manager shouldn't have to plan shifts around your ability to drive her. I hope she's saving up her wages to start driving lessons when she's 17!

gogohmm · 08/12/2022 08:41

How would she get to work at 6am? 7am? It's dark then too. My dd worked at McDonald's and the shift manager used to pick her up on the way (drove past our house anyway so not out of her way) she liked working with dd and it was before the first bus

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 08:42

can she cycle?

seperatedmum · 08/12/2022 08:44

Covetthee · 08/12/2022 07:57

i definitely wouldn’t speak to her manager, its a bit unprofessional.

i’m pretty sure its not legal anyways for a 16 year old to be at work at 5am, I’m sure hours are 6am to 10pm.

I spoke to my 16yo's manager, how is it unprofessional? on who's part? my son who is a child isn't a professional in that industry he's only just started a part time supposedly job? it's not my profession either so there's not that🤷🏽‍♀️ I don't care. my job is for my child to be safe and educated so that why I phoned to ensure this. the manager was happy to speak to me. what's the worst that can happen?

LaughingCat · 08/12/2022 08:52

sarahwoody75 · 08/12/2022 07:51

My 16 yo has a weekend job. She has been asked to work a shift starting at 5am on a day when we are unable to give her a lift. We are not comfortable with her walking to work at that time (20-25 min walk). When she told her manager she couldn’t do that shift, her manager hung up the phone on her. This seems a bit unprofessional but would it be sensible to try and speak to her manager? We would just try and explain why daughter can’t work that shift and ask if we can provide dates she can’t work early to try and help future planning of shifts. I am wary of making things worse but manager has been not very approachable in past when daughter has tried to talk to her herself. Thanks if you got this far!

I had a job like that when I was 16 - find a new one as your family is unsuited to this one. The manager’s rota-ing in no way will ever be impacted by your plans as a family, unless she wants to book time off as leave. It would have annoyed me as a manager too, if someone would have expected special treatment because they could ‘t get a lift. Either you’re available to work or you’re not. Yes, that’s harsh, but then there’s hundreds of others who’ll happily get a taxi in to make sure they can make it to work on time (which I did many times).

Feelallright · 08/12/2022 08:57

I definitely would not speak to the manager, but I do think a lot of the responses on here are very harsh. The child is only 16 and still at school!

Summerfun54321 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Why did she accept a job that she couldn’t get to when she needed to get there? I’m totally with your manager on this one. They could have hired someone else that didn’t have transport issues. Mummy and daddy not being able to give a lift is never an excuse not to get to work!

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 08:59

i refused to take my dd to work and another worker picked her up.

would that work?

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 09:00

in fact i was told specifically not to be responsible for her ability to get to work
otoh she was 19

let it go op.
it will sort itself out.

lookersnoopy · 08/12/2022 09:01

Summerfun54321 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Why did she accept a job that she couldn’t get to when she needed to get there? I’m totally with your manager on this one. They could have hired someone else that didn’t have transport issues. Mummy and daddy not being able to give a lift is never an excuse not to get to work!

We don't know that she did.

butterfliedtwo · 08/12/2022 09:02

Summerfun54321 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Why did she accept a job that she couldn’t get to when she needed to get there? I’m totally with your manager on this one. They could have hired someone else that didn’t have transport issues. Mummy and daddy not being able to give a lift is never an excuse not to get to work!

This.

She'll have to find another job, I suppose, but you really shouldn't get involved.

girlmom21 · 08/12/2022 09:02

I don't understand why she can't do a 20 minute walk at 5am. It's not really the time of day when attackers are lurking.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 08/12/2022 09:03

Summerfun54321 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Why did she accept a job that she couldn’t get to when she needed to get there? I’m totally with your manager on this one. They could have hired someone else that didn’t have transport issues. Mummy and daddy not being able to give a lift is never an excuse not to get to work!

Absolutely.

WandaWonder · 08/12/2022 09:05

No there is no way you should speak to her manager

Parents in an emergency as in next of kin fine, otherwises no way at all

lookersnoopy · 08/12/2022 09:05

But nobody knows she accepted a job she couldn't get to? Perhaps 5am starts are not part of her usually work pattern? Never mentioned at interview? Outwith given hours when taking the job?

If OP would just add some detail...

RudsyFarmer · 08/12/2022 09:07

I feel like I need to know what job this is before I answer as 16 is still a child and that manager sounds like the sort of person who didn’t give a shit about the health or wellbeing of my kid. That would dictate my answer.

Onnabugeisha · 08/12/2022 09:07

Summerfun54321 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Why did she accept a job that she couldn’t get to when she needed to get there? I’m totally with your manager on this one. They could have hired someone else that didn’t have transport issues. Mummy and daddy not being able to give a lift is never an excuse not to get to work!

Well she can get to it, it’s just that OP is prohibiting her from walking there at 4:30am due to OPs fears.

Liorae · 08/12/2022 09:11

I don't think mummy is afraid of the dark will fly well. Perhaps your daughter should wait until she's 25 to have job.

Unforgettablefire · 08/12/2022 09:14

If it's a 20/25 minute walk it's going to be five minutes in a taxi. Just get a taxi, ringing the manager on dd behalf will annoy the manager further.

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