Reading porn, finding vibrator- help me respond the right way!

[iwantareindeer]

Trying not to lose my mind...went into dds room just now, she is almost 13. I found a vibrator in her bed drawer and then decided to take a look at her laptop history...she's reading porn on Wattpad- anyone know much about this site?

The vibrator I can get over but the porn and god she is 12. How do I react in the right way. Currently somewhere between wanting to cry, scream my head off and feel a bit sad.

Cool story bro.

Did ye aye?

Certainly not a story! Wish it were!

OK so if this is real I'm now concerned you need to ask what to do.But honestly-you really don't recognise your own vibrator ?
Pull this thread now if it is real op -then and go and have a conversation with her.Ask her why she has it in her drawer.If she has used it and if it was cleaned 1st.
Reporting in case you don't pull it.

How on earth??! Because it was bought years ago and shoved in the back of the drawer! That can't be that uncommon. Seriously was just trying to get some advice from others. She's 12. This is new to me!

I don't even know how to pull a post. Not on here that often since kids were babies! I find it so strange people think people have time to make up stories. Oh well thanks to those who did have helpful comments.

How did she find it?

I know she was looking for some shoes to wear for Halloween. Suspect then.

Good god.

A chat about YOUR privacy is a must imo.

Bin the toy. And tell her sharing sex toys is grim..
Once one of mine went missing coincidently when ds took his gf away. It was later returned the disgusting specimen.. Binned obviously..

Wattpad - Modern day equivalent of Lace. No harm with this but does she have unlimited access to the internet? Maybe look at this to ensure it does not escalate to full on porn.

Say nothing to her.

Please please say something. This is the time to speak to her in an open, loving and gentle way. She is developing but now is the time to do something. Society has become scarily ok with the sexualisation of children and that is what she is. She shouldn’t be reading materials like that or having any devices either.

For many girls, this is typically the pathway to pornography. And pornography is one of the most disgusting and degrading things to ever exist. Morally and legally. Pornography isn’t real life but many people use that and believe that’s how sex should be. Additionally there are many implications towards consent, as some actors are trafficked into those roles. Additionally, watching people have sex isn’t right.

please please intervene before it’s too late. Sex is a natural and wonderful thing, but she’s 12.

We've had a few reports about this thread and just wanted to confirm that the OP's a long-term member of the site. We've also removed a number of troll hunting posts.

Additionally, watching people have sex isn’t right.

You made some very valid points @Babochan88 but this one I don't understand. Why is it not right? I object to pornography for the other reasons you gave (consent, trafficking, misogyny, normalisation of sexual violence, children accessing it with ease etc) but it's not the act of watching another human being have sex in itself that's the issue.

You cheapen all of your other very valid arguments when you try and force your personal moral viewpoint and values onto others.

In my comment, I spoke about many reasons why porn was wrong. One of the reasons was that watching other people have sex is wrong. Regardless of how it’s been normalised by society. If you think that I’m wrong…you may need to have a deep think about why you think it’s okay to watch others have sex - and where these ideas came from.

re: giving my moral opinion…welcome to mumsnet

That's just the thing; opinions are not the same as facts. Your opinion - which you are of course free to give - is that it's wrong to watch other people have sex, however you presented that as a fact. It's not. It's a personal moral judgement.

I haven't actually expressed my opinion on the moral issue of watching people have sex, so you remain in the dark regarding my feelings on the matter. The fact that I know you're incorrect in stating it's a fact that watching people have sex is wrong, is not indicative of my personal values or views. I understand that my personal views are just that - mine; personal - and I don't have the right to force them onto others or claim that they are anything more than simply my own opinions.

The fact that you don't like something doesn't make it wrong.

Porn is not a victimless crime, and when your DD is older there is a possibility of a young man who has viewed porn expecting certain things in the bedroom which no young woman should ever feel obliged to agree to, and/or her being in danger.

A conversation about consent, boundaries and possibly contraception, taking porn and how it warps young men's expectations seems appropriate to me.