How can I accept the fact that my child will likely turn out FUBAR?

[Ariannee]

Basically the title. This world keeps getting worse and worse and I feel like it's almost impossible to insulate my child from it. Is there anything in the future that should give me hope as a parent?

You think you're child is going to end up fucked up beyond repair? Because?....reasons?

Just be a good parent

What? I don't understand.

I thought it meant 'fucked up beyond all recognition'? Off topic maybe!

I assume because of the state of the world at the moment. No answers, I worry too.

When I feel like this I think to myself that maybe, just maybe, my child will grow to be a person who is the catalyst for change! They might be the new David Attenborough of their generation, or whatever…making sure they’re educated about how they can make a difference is key, I think.

I don't know, but people are horrified when I tell them I've told my DCs not to have children because the world is going to shit. It's too late for them, but if rather not have grandchildren than know they'll be brought into a world that's burning (climate change, inequality).

That's actually really lovely.

Do you mean your child or their life ?

Hairy are your children very young? Once they become teens that way of thinking is quite ridiculous.

That is a nice way to think about it.

Bless. It does feel bleak sometimes.
My eldest will hopefully go into something environmental which is positive.

I get this. My DC are still only teens/tweens. The eldest definitely sees the idea of a traditional family, children etc in his future. He's still only 14 though so no need to piss on his bonfire yet.

I adore my children and love being a parent but if I had have known how quickly everything was going to go to shit 15 years ago I wouldn't have had them.

I know how you feel. The frustrating thing is that so much of it is not just beyond our control. China is the biggest polluter by far (responsible for nearly 30% of global emissions) followed by the USA and India. And Africa has by far the highest birth rate. In fact, their population is going to double by 2050. What we do in this country is pretty much irrelevant. Same with terrorism or nuclear weapons or AI. What we do in the UK makes no difference.

I often feel that the world is spinning out of control and that we're heading for some kind of crash. In 1800, there were a billion people on Earth. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. By 2000 it has doubled to six billion, and we're now at eight billion and heading for ten. It's flippin insane. Overpopulattion combined with climate change is going to be the end of us. When you chuck nuclear weapons into the mix (something people forget about), it's terrifying.

That said, I try and be positive. For a start, war is far less common. The idea that war is exciting and glorious, or that it's a good way to get what you want, is no longer accepted. It would be unthinkable for Britain or France or Italy or Germany to fight one another. It's also difficult to imagine Argentina and Brazil or the USA and Canada fighting. That alone is a big advance. Also, we underestimate human genius and adaptability. When Covid struck, we were told there was no chance of a vaccine within ten years. Within a year we had not one but several. AND organized religion is in decline.

And who knows, maybe AI will usher in a utopia.

I don't want grandchildren either! Hopefully, my 2 adult sons decide to remain childless.

The World has always been like this though in one way or another. In fact we are far, far better off than in previous generations within the UK. War, disease, pestilence, starvation, pollution nothing new there and we have the technology to mitigate against a lot of these, we have contraception and modern medicine, we have organised military and not just sending all of the men in the town off to war. Life isn't always comfortable and it never has been for most people, you bring up your children to be aware of the world and develop resilience and they will do just fine, just like we do and hopefully contribute to a more positive future.

This is quite a histrionic way of thinking. There have been many, many periods of horrific struggle and suffering throughout history and many, many people who lived through them without being "FUBAR". It is possible to live through adversity and still be well-adjusted.

I agree with this. Struggle and difficulty are the norm not the exception. Despite that, people have meaningful lives, love one another and cope as best they can with the challenges they face.

I don't know how old your child is but assuming they are a teen, I wouldn't try to "insulate" them from the wrong in the world. Talk to them about it (in an age appropriate way). By all means do what you can to give them the best start, as you would anyway, but also an awareness that things can be hard and that they can work to make things better.

When I was entering adulthood we were experiencing a time of unprecedented economic growth and political stability. The optimism was incredible. That is the world I thought my child would grow up in. Then the internet bubble burst and really things have never recovered.

I think about the world faced by my grandparents during the Great Depression and the challenges facing my child don’t seem nearly so bad. We may be getting to that point, but we aren’t there yet and the social safety net is better then 100 years ago.

Every single one of us on the planet today comes from a line of ancestors who outran war, famines and plagues long enough to procreate and keep their children alive long enough to have their own children.

I'm certainly not going to be the one in the line who throws their hands up in the air and say it's all too hard when I'm sat here in a secure home in peaceful times and I can walk down to the shops and fill my boots with more calories than I can shake a stick at.

I'm raising my kids to be adaptable, capable and optimistic. Then they can make their own choices about what they do.

Billy Connolly used to do a bit about people his age saying they weren't having kids because the world's gone to shit. And his parents were shagging while WWII was raging. And his GPs while WWI was raging.

And the world turns.

@Ariannee the world has usually and mostly pickled from one era to the next, just with social media and technology, the stories are more global.

This is quite a histrionic way of thinking. There have been many, many periods of horrific struggle and suffering throughout history and many, many people who lived through them without being "FUBAR". It is possible to live through adversity and still be well-adjusted.

God yes. When you think of the genuinely shitty times humans have lived through (and continue to live through) it takes a certain egocentricity to dismiss all that and believe the only thing that matters is that we are a bit less privileged this year than a few years ago.

I think an important question to answer is “ at what time in history was it better to be alive than now ?” And it’s difficult to conclude that now isn’t the best time, despite the many challenges. But I think the key is not to spend too much time dwelling on stuff that you have zero influence over.

This. Difference is now people and the media wind people up into a frenzy more than ever. Other generations didn’t have the same media as we have now. Yes stuff is shit but many times have been before too. That’s life. Life is having fun while you’re here, really. Life is the bits you make in between all the shit that is out of your control, isn’t it??

Well yes things were bad during the Thirty Years War but there was no contraception then.

It's quite possible that the planet will be uninhabitable for humans 50 years from now, and certainly large parts of it. That is much worse than anything that has gone before, but the fewer people who have children from now on, the less pressure there may be. I hope my ds won't have children.