Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Ds out of control

33 replies

par05 · 04/09/2022 02:20

Hi all, as you may have read previous threads my son who is 14, overdose after arguing with his gf! That was 2 weeks ago. Today he had a fight with his brother and destroyed his room and now won't talk to anyone. His behaviour is just getting worse. He had completely disregard for everyone hit his sister in the process too! I'm at my wits end with him now and really starting to dislike him 😔 he told us all he hated us and wished we all would die

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 02:37

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 03:15

I wanted to call the police but didn't but breaking things is not normal

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 04/09/2022 03:19

It does sound like he needs some kind of hardcore shock. I would let him know that you will be seeking a CAHMS investigation into his mental health and get on with it. Advise him that one of the next steps you are going to request is a referral to a rehab clinic (Mhospital) to ensure that you and siblings are safe in your own home.

Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 03:25

Hi thank you for replying, his behaviour has slowly got worse to the point that we his siblings and I walk on eggshells as he gets defensive over everything.
Cahms were involved but he is refusing to have counselling.

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 03:27

He has rewritten the fight with his brother to make out as if he didn't do anything at all plays the victim so we'll it's scary

OP posts:
Monty27 · 04/09/2022 03:34

OP I strongly advise you to approach his school and see what support is on offer. Push hard for support and ask them for other avenues to explore. I feel your pain believe me. Reach out and reach out some more.
It can only help.

Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 03:49

@Monty27 I have told cahms everything, his smoking weed vaping, running off, self harm, his sexual relationship with girlfriend, this is a whole new thing he did today, especially with the braking and trashing of room. He hadn't done that before. And fighting his brother as they were literally laughing a 2nd before he took offence. Because he won't agree to counselling cahms took him of crisis. But he is back in school Monday so will ring school.

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 05:05

I just can not sleep thinking about everything he is doing to destroy his life. He is distancing himself from his siblings they now don't want to talk to him. I don't want to enable his behaviour anymore either 😔

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 04/09/2022 05:13

Next time he is violent or starts breaking things, call police.

mumofblu · 04/09/2022 07:16

My Dd behaviour ( linked to trauma) got so bad that we called the police . Hardest thing I've ever had to do . Both DD now being seen by social services and part of child in need meetings . Best thing we ever did . Older dd getting support to manage her emotions. Younger Dd knows the can talk to us and best of all girls are much closer and happier ( after initial wobble of older dd hating us because we called police and social services)

mumofblu · 04/09/2022 07:20

I read that your son od ?
My dd did that too and CAMHS crisis wouldn't release her until support in place ( counselling and social services )

If he is fighting and police are called he doesn't have a choice except to accept support . Think if the other children and what they are experiencing.

KangarooKenny · 04/09/2022 07:22

A friend of mine had trouble with her DS and the police got involved, but in a helpful way, giving advice and talking to him. They took him away one night when he was kicking off, but he wasn’t arrested, he was taken away from the situation to calm down.
It might be worth a chat with them ?
But you do need to safeguard your other children and yourself.

mumofblu · 04/09/2022 07:22

Doesn't matter what he says happened or why
Evidence is he broke things and hit his sibling

mumofblu · 04/09/2022 07:25

Yes safeguard all children , him included because this behaviour will get him into much further trouble

allboysherebutme · 04/09/2022 07:25

Maybe go to the police station and ask to speak to someone and tell them what is happening see if you can get some advice or help. X

Sally090807 · 04/09/2022 07:42

Where does he get money for weed and vapes from, the weed could be affecting his behaviour.

Malie · 04/09/2022 07:48

If the boy is harming other children you need to kill the police. The problem is that the laws today give us very little option with our children that even restraining them can be frowned on. Of course smoking weed is a criminal offence and he needs to be told that and keeping it in your house puts you in trouble too. It can also lead him to long-term mental problems. So I will get the police involved and the authorities

carefullycourageous · 04/09/2022 07:51

Fraaahnces · 04/09/2022 03:19

It does sound like he needs some kind of hardcore shock. I would let him know that you will be seeking a CAHMS investigation into his mental health and get on with it. Advise him that one of the next steps you are going to request is a referral to a rehab clinic (Mhospital) to ensure that you and siblings are safe in your own home.

Do you genuinely think these things are possible? There is no CAMHS support available. What rehab?

carefullycourageous · 04/09/2022 07:57

@par05 you have a child who is having a crisis, I can't see any point in not talking openly with all agencies including the police as from your post his life is at risk and he is harming his sibling. When you say 'overdose' do you mean an attempt to take his life? What support can you afford for him? I know it is not fair but if you can afford private support it will make things much faster.

I know you are dealing with scary chaos right now but this is a 14 yo boy, he must be shItting himself inside if he is going off the rails. Your DD also will be frightened, has she talked with you much?

KangarooKenny · 04/09/2022 08:12

Speak to school safeguarding lead, and get pastoral involved.

BeanieTeen · 04/09/2022 08:17

It’s a child protection issue regarding your other children. I think social services and the police should be involved. You can’t carry in like this.

Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 09:21

He overdosed on paracetamol after a argument with his girlfriend. He had been pretty upbeat since last 2 weeks then yesterday a arguement with his brother turned into a full blown fight. He then trashed room. There was no reasoning with him at all. I just do not want him in the house anymore. He's been with his gf first one he's had for 11 months and his behaviour has just gone so bad. I should have called police but didn't now wish I did as he is playing the victim so much. That his brother started the fight and he's now the bad guy! He wants to go live with his father who lives abroad and never wants to come back.

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 09:25

He's not smoking weed anymore to my knowledge as has been at home most of summer, has dropped his friends for girlfriend and she was on holiday

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 09:29

I'm a single parent, but have looked into private counselling for hi online with teen counselling yet to go forward with it as he is refusing it. His gf has taken ovedose before and I think that's where he got idea. She also has counselling

OP posts:
Original poster
par05 · 04/09/2022 09:34

He also had a lot of pics of his gf on his phone which I deleted and told him.he can get in to a lot of trouble. And that she could too. I think he has emotionally messed up his mind so bad by doing things he was not ready for. He is 6ft and body of a man but his brain is 14

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread