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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Holiday teens 'Back to the apartment'

47 replies

Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 14:27

What is it with my daughter and always wanting to go back to the apartment?

I understand its hot but there is a lovely, pool, sea, the beach.

We are on holiday with her 16 year old cousin and my sister. The 16 year old will sunbathe but my dd age 14 can stay out two hours max then she wants to be in the apartment and just hang out.

She is a bit better when we go out for dinner and drinks but even then comes the question. ' When are we going back to the apartment?'

Give me strength.

Anyone elses teen like this?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 01/08/2022 14:31

I'd be like this and I'm an adult.

I don't like the sun and don't find sunbathing very interesting. I love a swim but two hours is plenty and then back to apartment to relax in the shade/AC.

Is she better if you actually do something, not just lying around?

She's old enough to go back to the apartment by herself though so it doesn't need to impact your beach/pool time. Just leave her be.

Doidontimmm · 01/08/2022 14:33

2 hours would be enough for me too!

Afterfire · 01/08/2022 14:34

Is it the heat that’s bothering her? Maybe she just wants to sit in the cold and go on her phone? At that age I’d just let her get on with it.

TomAllenWife · 01/08/2022 14:35

They just want to be inside, on their phones, using the Wi-Fi

It's annoying but totally normal

Hakeandling · 01/08/2022 14:35

Wifi, shade, snacks and privacy.

HardRockOwl · 01/08/2022 14:36

Very very normal for teenagers. Bead exactly the same and I was a teenager long before mobile phones! I'd sit in the hotel or apartment with my books!

If she's coming out for an hour or two and she's joining you for a meal, just ignore it

IceStationZebra · 01/08/2022 14:36

I remember being like this at the same age and it was pre phones / WiFi - I just wanted to be inside listening to music or reading.

EspeciallyDeIighted · 01/08/2022 14:43

Yes and so am I, although we all like to do some more active stuff too, walking, cycling, sightseeing etc so not all just at the apartment. Two or three hours by a pool or beach a couple of times over the course of a week is enough for me and if there's no shade I won't want to be there at all.

Mushroo · 01/08/2022 14:45

I was exactly like this (pre-internet). It sounds mad but I just found the outside a bit bright and exhausting, much preferred being on my own in the room just relaxing without being ‘on show’

Staynow · 01/08/2022 14:46

I'd be the same. Couple hours at the pool/beach is enough for me.

Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 14:46

I have left her too it. Its just the opposite to her cousin so I just thought it was me.

No she isn't any different if we do something. She is ok for a bit then wants to go back.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 14:47

To it even

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 01/08/2022 14:48

The holidays we took when DS was 13 remain part of family folklore- I nearly killed him. I paid a fortune to be on holiday and he wouldn’t move without a huge argument. All he wanted was to be in his room or, at a push, in a food joint with wi-fi access.

He’s grown out of it and I’m looking forward to the holidays we have booked with him, likely to be our last ones as a family.

BugsInTheBed · 01/08/2022 14:50

Im the same. I only really enjoy a couple of hours mooching about. Id hate to be expected to lie in the sun for more than a couple of slots of the holiday. I dont think its that unusual we all like different things.

SirHonkers · 01/08/2022 14:50

My 13 year is doing this as well. Totally normal. She comes out for the odd swim, read by the pool, then retreats to the air-conditioned room. I'm stuck by the pool bored out of my mind and roasted whilst the other three are turning into fish.

BugsInTheBed · 01/08/2022 14:52

What else is there to do? Are there activivtes to sign up ror or places to visit? Or were you expecting her to lie down all day everyday ?

rookiemere · 01/08/2022 14:56

Yeah DS was like this age 12.

Specifically booked an apartment in a complex with loads of activities and he mostly sat in the apartment.

If she's happy enough out for a couple of hours in the day and coming out for meals, then I'd go with that.

Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 14:59

BugsInTheBed · 01/08/2022 14:52

What else is there to do? Are there activivtes to sign up ror or places to visit? Or were you expecting her to lie down all day everyday ?

No we got a taxi into a city last night and she was bored after an hour and wanted to get the taxi back.

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 01/08/2022 15:02

She may just want to get away from you/her cousin/her aunt/all of you/people in general - she's a teenager they can be anti-social buggers.

Or it could be to escape the heat, or to get some privacy, maybe for innocent purposes maybe not. She's not smoking is she? Boyfriend back home? Holiday boyfriend?

If you are satisfied that she's not up to anything potentially harmful I would leave her to it, it is her holiday too and if she wants to chill in her room fair enough.

RewildingAmbridge · 01/08/2022 15:04

Yes but to do what in the city? Teenagers mostly don't like to just wander around looking at towns/cities. Most teens/older DC like to do loads of activities, paddle boarding, zip lining, quad biking in the desert, hike up a volcano to have lunch cooked on the great from the lava etc. The occasional museum/somewhere pretty for lunch but not for hours at a time.

I'd find your current holiday set up not for me now as an adult, let alone when I was a teen.

Courgeon · 01/08/2022 15:04

It's annoying but it is normal. DD 15 likes to go back too but does perk up in the evening.
I have a friend who's likes this, you'll be out with her for a couple of hours max and she "needs to get back". She always insists on dragging her entire family with her as well, so if she has a headache her DH and x 2 ds have to go back with her. She point blank will not sort herself out or do anything independently. It drives me a bit mad but when we do go away with this particular family we book separate accommodation plus activities we enjoy and it's their call if they want to join in or not. I've accepted in a very activity focussed person who gets bored easily and to be fair that's not everyone's cup of tea.

KingOfWishfulThinkin · 01/08/2022 15:05

My 12yo DSis was like this when we went away in April and it was a huge shock - the last time we managed to get abroad was when she was 9 due to covid and you couldn't get her out of the pool, this time she barely went in it.
I think some kids that age would rather relax inside, a break is a break as long as you spend it doing what you enjoy. As long as she's happy I'd leave her to it but just let her know that you'd all enjoy her company outside.

Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 15:05

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 01/08/2022 15:02

She may just want to get away from you/her cousin/her aunt/all of you/people in general - she's a teenager they can be anti-social buggers.

Or it could be to escape the heat, or to get some privacy, maybe for innocent purposes maybe not. She's not smoking is she? Boyfriend back home? Holiday boyfriend?

If you are satisfied that she's not up to anything potentially harmful I would leave her to it, it is her holiday too and if she wants to chill in her room fair enough.

Nothing harmful. I am sat in the apartment with her now in the living room. She is sat in the bedroom watching Netflix.

It is lovely and cool to be fair but then I think I could do this at home and mot spend thousands. Oh well thanks all guess it is normal. It was just the contrast to the older cousin that made me wonder.

OP posts:
daffodil56 · 01/08/2022 15:07

My 13 would totally be like this. The only sort of holiday he will go out all day on is a theme park trip. I send him on residentials with kids his own age (eg music, camping) or we stay near relatives so he can hang out in their house safely while we go out with his younger brother.

feellikeanalien · 01/08/2022 15:09

I went away with DD for a week at half term and she was exactly like this (age 14). Do we have to go out? When are we done?

I gave up asking her if she would like to do something and just said we were doing it.

To be fair she did put up with me meeting friends a couple of times and she did get time in the apartment on her tablet. Luckily our balcony had a beautiful sea view so it wasn't too bad.

Now we've got the summer holidays she'd be quite happy to sit on the computer all day. Not going to happen!!

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