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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Holiday teens 'Back to the apartment'

47 replies

Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 14:27

What is it with my daughter and always wanting to go back to the apartment?

I understand its hot but there is a lovely, pool, sea, the beach.

We are on holiday with her 16 year old cousin and my sister. The 16 year old will sunbathe but my dd age 14 can stay out two hours max then she wants to be in the apartment and just hang out.

She is a bit better when we go out for dinner and drinks but even then comes the question. ' When are we going back to the apartment?'

Give me strength.

Anyone elses teen like this?

OP posts:
dragonDan · 01/08/2022 15:12

We haven't been on holiday for 3 years but my now 16 year old was exactly the same. He is a real home bird and just doesn't enjoy being out and about.

Mindymomo · 01/08/2022 15:14

We went on holiday, DH and I and our 2 sons, aged 15 and 19. 15 year old came to breakfast then stayed in room till lunch and then went back to room all afternoon. He used to love swimming and getting to know other kids/teenagers. He would swim in indoor pool a couple of times. The following year we went on a cruise, where he was in the kids club all the time, or in the pool or hanging out with the friends he made. He did go in excursions with us that we picked together, but as soon as we got back to ship, he was off again.

Teenagers seem to change every year, frustrating being a parent.

Funkyslippers · 01/08/2022 15:14

Oh my goodness I could have written this a week ago. My 13 y/o DD2 would come out of the apartment once during the day if we were lucky and then for dinner or she wouldn't eat! Thank God I'm not alone. It got to the point where I wondered what the point of her coming was (apart from the fact that it would probably be illegal to leave her at home for 10 days!). I like to take my time on holiday but after about half an hour of the beach/pool/restaurant she'd be asking for the key to the apartment. She brought 1 half read book which she finished on day 2 so all she had was her phone and she really missed her friend. I even offered her my magazines and sudoku book! I am seriously rethinking our holidays from now on. I might get dd1 (19) to take her next year and oh and I will stay at home!

Paq · 01/08/2022 15:17

TomAllenWife · 01/08/2022 14:35

They just want to be inside, on their phones, using the Wi-Fi

It's annoying but totally normal

This. My 14 year old was an f'ing nightmare on holiday this year. I was really cross.

gogohmm · 01/08/2022 15:20

@RewildingAmbridge

Mine never wanted to do those sorts of things. They liked museums, galleries, browsing shops and eating in interesting places. Young people are all different

doodlywoodlydingdong · 01/08/2022 15:24

My daughter was desperate to come to where we are on holiday, begged for two weeks as "is her favourite place in the world". She's 14. Within 24 hours she's moved her mattress into the kitchenette and had pet much stayed there for the last 10 days. She's got into the pool maybe 5-7 times for twenty minutes at a time. We have tried to coax her onto boat trips, day trips, drives, beach , swimming etc. Unless it's looking in souvenir shops for her "mates" , she is not interested. She's currently under a big blanket on her bed, phone in hand, while we sit on the veranda with a cold beer. We've gone out everyday for a drive just to escape her to be honest. We've all agreed that next year she will stay at home with her 18yo brother . I'm going to holiday with my sister and her kids, and then have a separate week away with my DH.

FrownedUpon · 01/08/2022 15:26

I'm not sure it is normal, mine enjoy a wander round a new town or city & they love swimming. It sounds like a waste of money. I’d be annoyed too.

Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 01/08/2022 15:45

FrownedUpon · 01/08/2022 15:26

I'm not sure it is normal, mine enjoy a wander round a new town or city & they love swimming. It sounds like a waste of money. I’d be annoyed too.

She says she would if it didn't feel like trekking the Sahara. 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/08/2022 15:47

It sounds as if you're more in tune with your niece who is more like you and has similar interests to you, OP? That's 2-against-1 and it can really feel like that sometimes. It's important that you accept your child's wish to do things differently; we are all different.

I wouldn't be sitting in the sun baking my skin to a scarlet leather (as that's what it would do) for anything. If you and niece enjoy that kind of thing then crack on, leave your daughter to do her thing and in the evening, all of you go out together.

Whatever you do, don't compare your daughter with her cousin.

rookiemere · 01/08/2022 16:02

@Tinkerblonde1 we don't like it as a family when it's too hot - it's one of the reasons we've started sticking to the UK in the Summer and then go to the Canaries during the October break.

But it is likely an age thing. We're bringing a pal for DS when we go away in October, but having said that your DD has her cousin to hang out with.

It could be worse our friends DD15 refused to leave the room in the villa they had for two weeks and then got upset if there was no-one there with her ( although I think there maybe more going on).

At least yours is doing a little bit and is not being rude about it. She is entitled to find the weather too hot for walking around, that's perfectly natural.

BringOnSummerHolidays · 01/08/2022 16:06

I don’t like a holiday doing nothing. I would rather be indoors. Maybe ask her what she wants to do? Would she go to day trips with you?

LostFrog · 01/08/2022 21:21

This was ds1 last year, then 14. I really resented it at the time because we had tried to find a holiday that he would like and he just couldn’t be arsed. Then I realised that there is literally zero point trying to plan around teenage moods so you might as well not bother trying. This year we are doing a UK holiday, and I already feel better about it because even if he hates every minute at least it hasn’t cost a fortune so there is less pressure on everyone.
I hope your holiday improves OP! Holidaying with teenagers is bloody hard work.

CashmereMutt · 02/08/2022 08:35

I went on holidays with a friend when we were 24 years old - she insisted on going back to the apartment every fucking day for what seemed like no good reason - no phones or wifi and it wasn't too hot - seemed to be some sort of comfort thing she needed - such a frustrating waste of time for me anyway.

glamourousindierockandroll · 02/08/2022 08:38

I understand her. It was a combination of wanting to be alone and being sick of the heat. When I was her age I used to love going back to the room at about 3pm, watching sky news, having a shower and a cool nap then sitting on the balcony.

BigYellowElephant · 02/08/2022 10:26

@RewildingAmbridge my daughters, stepdaughter and nieces would hate any of that (other than the volcano one which DD would do but definitely not DSD). They're all different, just like adults, and can even be different from one holiday to the next. The issue isn't the activities OP has chosen - I'm sure she knows her own children. It's just typical annoying teenage behaviour that passes eventually.

EhatBow · 02/08/2022 10:36

I've never understood sunbathing. Why lie in the sun reading when you would be so much more comfortable reading in the apartment?

AngelsWithSilverWings · 02/08/2022 11:53

Went away for a week to a beach resort in Croatia with DS16 and DD14 . DD spent no more than an hour a day outside. DS stayed out with us once he had got out of bed which was usually not until about 11! We've said we will leave her with her grandparents next time we go away. It's not worth paying £1k for her to sit in a hotel room texting her boyfriend/friends for a week.

Darlissima · 02/08/2022 11:59

Currently on holiday with teen DC. I’d say we get about 6 “good” hours with them- having a lazy villa/pool holiday and we spend maybe a couple of hours in the pool together, lots of chat at mealtimes and games after dinner. The other 18 hours they’re either on their phones, in their rooms or asleep (or any 2 of these at once). Seems like a reasonable ratio to me.

(“Good” is in quotes because I don’t think the other hours are bad- just that the kids aren’t engaged with us all the time, which is fine.)

Funkyslippers · 02/08/2022 17:26

EhatBow fresh air, socialising and a tan

leccybill · 02/08/2022 17:43

If your child isn't very outdoorsy generally, then being outside all day isn't normal for them.
I remember as a teen myself, sitting in the nice cool quiet reception with a glass of water and a book for most of the afternoon.

DD12 will swim for a bit then sit under a parasol covered in a towel with her kindle. I'm ok with this!

MissyB1 · 02/08/2022 18:03

Hmm… I don’t think they are all like that but according to this thread it seems common. We’ve just got back from Greece, ds (13) spent most of the day swimming and climbing on rocks. He would look at his phone on the sun bed under the parasol. We would all go back to the room about 6pm and he would spend an hour on the phone before going to the restaurant.

Original poster
Tinkerblonde1 · 02/08/2022 18:46

Interesting all of your experiences thanks for sharing.

We are back home now. We were only back an hour and dd was running up the street as her friends arrived to hug them.

She is having a sleepover tonight at her mates. I couldn't think of anything worse after a week a way.

Teenagers are a different breed.

She also said for our next holiday can we go to a cold country? Grin

I agree with a pp saying its a comfort thing. This could also be the case. My oh is a bit like this too. He likes his down time.

OP posts:
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