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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

In teh next 15 minutes can someone give me a good response to..................

38 replies

lilibet · 17/01/2008 15:54

"you're my mum, you should do stuff for me, if you want me to do stuff back that's selfish"

and

"what perfect world are you living in if you expect me adn (brother) to be kind?"

From a 14 year old ds

OP posts:
happystory · 17/01/2008 15:58

lilbet, I feel your pain! Will be watching eagerly for clever one-liners to use on my ds (16)

Original poster
lilibet · 17/01/2008 15:59

He had me in tears this morning

Don't wnat to go home and face him

OP posts:
ScoobyDoo · 17/01/2008 16:00

you're my mum, you should do stuff for me, if you want me to do stuff back that's selfish

Your the child & i am the adult & you will do as i say

NeitherUseNorOrnament · 17/01/2008 16:00

"You are my son and part of this family so you pull your weight like everyone else"

Then go on a washing strike and see how he likes not having clean undies

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother · 17/01/2008 16:01

I don't know but I think I would start by going on a mother's strike! Let 'em make their own dinner, do their own laundry etc. just to appreciate exactly what you do do.

MAMAZON · 17/01/2008 16:01

i did do stuff for you. i spent XX hours pushing you out of my body in extreme pain.

i don't live in a perfect world. if i did i wouldn't have rude children

CarGirl · 17/01/2008 16:01

families are about being there for one another and helping each other out. That means parents doing things for children that they are UNABLE to do themelves and helping them out when they can and it means children doing what they are capable of doing for themselves and helping out parents and siblings as and when they can.

Remember some children work to survive as soon as they are able just like they had to in this country a century ago.

The world isn't perfect that's why family members need to be kind to one another to make it possible to survive in such an unkking world.

Alternatively ask him if you should start being unkind and unhelful towards him as you can't be bothered anymore just like he can't be bothered?

Original poster
lilibet · 17/01/2008 16:02

Dirty clothes really wouldn't phase him

OP posts:
betterhalf · 17/01/2008 16:03

I like MAMAZON's comment!

Original poster
lilibet · 17/01/2008 16:03

Mamazon

OP posts:
TheMuppetMuggle · 17/01/2008 16:04

I would go on strike and let him look after himself, he's 14 so should already know how to cook,clean and wash his clothes.

NeitherUseNorOrnament · 17/01/2008 16:04

Also make his least favourite meals

Really healthy ones if he is anything like my DS was at that age

(I asked DS1 what he thought you should say and asked him to read your OP - he said "and he is still alive?")

EffiePerine · 17/01/2008 16:04

My grandmother was doing all the cooking for a large family by the age of 14. Not so long ago, he would have been expected to leave school and get a job to contribute to the family's income (or leave home altogether).

Maybe do a Victorian Week where they have to do everything for themselves while you drink gin?

Twiglett · 17/01/2008 16:05

"Don't you dare you little brat .. go to your room and stay there until you can be polite if not human"

???

cosima · 17/01/2008 16:05

I'm your mum and what i must do for you is teach you to be independant so you can survive, and also to prevent you getting beating up for being a mummy's boy/spoiltbrat

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother · 17/01/2008 16:06

Strike strike strike strike!

EffiePerine · 17/01/2008 16:06

marketing it as survival skills might work ... give him a canteen and a can of beans for his lunch

Twiglett · 17/01/2008 16:07

I think he's obviously spoilt (as is the way of all teens) and if you haven't already you need to draw up a rota of chores that he is expected to do on a daily / weekly base

beansprout · 17/01/2008 16:07

And what sort of world are you living in if you think that this is how this works?

You can't argue with his incredibly flawed logic, but presumably he is already quite clear on his "rights" etc, so let him know that you have some too and being treated like poo by your children isn't one of them.

MightySquonk · 17/01/2008 16:07

send a pic of him as a naked baby to everyone in his phone's contacts list

or at least threaten it

Twiglett · 17/01/2008 16:08

he should be

taking his turn (helping?) preparing a meal
setting the table
washing up
cleaning the living room
hoovering
taking out the trash
sorting out the recycling
keeping his bedroom tidy

NeitherUseNorOrnament · 17/01/2008 16:08

I have also found removal of cable telly (if you have it) is a great way to concentrate the mind

Twiglett · 17/01/2008 16:09

play him country and western tracks till his ears bleed

Twiglett · 17/01/2008 16:10

this one should do it .. No charge

Mercy · 17/01/2008 16:11

'I may be your mother but I am not your servant' is what mine used to say iirc. Can't remember if it worked or not though!

Needs to be said at the right time though as a negotiating tool (eg, when he wants something - more freedom usually) otherwise you may get the 'I didn't ask to be born' type response. I remember saying that [cringe]

Actually I'm probably talking crap as I don't even have teenagers - sorry. You need Custardo not me!