I have considering asking my partner to move in with me, and my 16yo DD. Financially it makes sense, and we have been in a relationship for 3 years. My issue is how my DD took the idea. She was positively apoplectic.
To let you understand, it is just me and my daughter. My parents died years ago and DDs other grandparents are in touch sporadically. VERY sporadically. My partner and I are not a lovely dovey couple by any stretch of the imagination. DD and OH get on like a house on fire when he's here, and like the same kinds of films, etc, and take great pleasure in ganging up to prank me or generally take the Mick out of me (which I'm happy to go along with of it means they're getting along).
She says that him moving in will ruin my relationship with her, and that she will not be able feel free in her own home. She's even threatened to go and live with her aunt if it goes ahead! My sister, to set the scene, is 47 and still treats my daughter like an 8 year old. She has no children of her own, and is therefore incredibly protective of her niece. I can't even speak to my sister about the situation as she already thinks I'm a terrible mother for working full time when I have a child to take care of! But as I'm trying to make my DD understand, she IS growing up. There's no avoiding it. Yet she still relies on me to get her up in the morning, make her lunch, make sure she has the right books for school etc. I just feel backed into a corner. I feel like everyone and everything is against me at the moment. My OH is being great about it, but doesn't understand why I can't just say, "this is happening, deal with it". Am I being too soft on my DD? Or is she right, and I shouldn't even be considering it? I wish my mum was still here. She'd know what to do 😞 Thank you for reading and any comments/tips would be greatly appreciated.