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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD and contraceptive

37 replies

TheBestForLast · 17/04/2022 17:23

DD 16 has got her first boyfriend and has asked can she go on the pill. Although I'm not happy that she's wasting no time and we've talked about waiting a while I'm thankful that she is being sensible about it. What options does she have? I'm really new to this as I'm mid forties and old school really lol I've heard of the implant and then there is just a pill but not sure which is best.

I'm going to ring the doctors this week and try and make an appointment although it's easier said than done. My doctors are still doing telephone apps and with me working and DD going to school it's really hard.

Just after some advice and no judging please, like I said at least she is being sensible about it.

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 17:25

I couldn't recommend the implant more. I absolutely love it.

It stops my periods completely and you won't have to rely on a teenager to remember the pill.

Bunnybingesoneggs · 17/04/2022 17:28

She needs condoms also to protect against sti's.

sickofthisnonsense · 17/04/2022 17:33

My advice would be she not tell boyfriends she is on BC and insist they still use condoms.

The type will depend on your DD

Will she remember to take it every time?
Could she remember to take one the same time every day?

Does she have any other medical conditions?

She really need to speak to either her GO or practise nurse not ransoms on the internet

ShadowPuppets · 17/04/2022 17:35

www.brook.org.uk/topics/contraception/

A good resource here explaining the options Smile

Notwithittoday · 17/04/2022 18:26

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has?
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/
There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.

VariationsonaTheme · 17/04/2022 18:35

@Notwithittoday

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/ There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.
You’re delusional if you think 16 year olds in a steady relationship won’t be having sex, and even more so if you think telling her she’ll get cancer will make a difference.

OP most teenagers are pretty clued up about contraception now and she’ll probably know herself what she wants to do. I’d be encouraging her to think about the implant so she doesn’t have to remember to take it every day, but also remind her that condoms are a good idea too.

AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 18:35

Xx @Notwithittoday Op doesn't have to support her Daughter having sex. That is not a choice she has any say in.
But it would be responsible to not be naive and to support her in accessing decent contraception.

Threetulips · 17/04/2022 18:36

Try the clinics locally rather than doctors they are usually evenings and do all the usual checks.

LillyDeValley · 17/04/2022 18:38

Do you have a GUM clinic near you? Some have sessions specifically for young people, including contraception.

JollyWilloughby · 17/04/2022 18:39

@Notwithittoday

For goodness sakes she’s 16, more than old enough to have sex and is going to have sex regardless of her mums opinion.

OP look into the implant, it’s a great option as she will not need to think about it and is technically the same as the mini pill in terms of dosage every day.

Great for teens who can be forgetful.

rahjama · 17/04/2022 18:43

@Notwithittoday

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/ There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.
No one gives a fuck if their mum approves of them having sex. She doesn't need her mums permission. 16 is a very common age to have sex it's legal ffs how old are you?

Agree with PP who suggested that your DD doesn't tell her boyfriend she's on the pill so they still use condoms. He's more likely to forget or think they'll be fine as a one off if he thinks they have that as well.

Notwithittoday · 17/04/2022 18:49

@VariationsonaTheme worth a go. It would have put me off if I’d have known that. Just my mum telling me it would be uncomfortable stopped me and I have no regrets. I don’t see why it’s a given at 16 tbh

JollyWilloughby · 17/04/2022 19:07

@Notwithittoday

Uncomfortable? Sounds like your mother lumped a load of sexual shame on to you.

My first shag was at 16 and it definitely wasn’t uncomfortable!

It was pretty fab to be honest!

😂

TweetTweetMF · 17/04/2022 19:08

@Notwithittoday

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/ There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.
She's 16 not 14! Bloody hell.
FVFrog · 17/04/2022 19:25

My mantra was two forms of contraception at all times for mine (DD and DSs) protection against unplanned pregnancy and STIs

SecondhandTable · 17/04/2022 20:06

I agree with the 'double dutch' approach. I'm in my twenties with two young kids and I did 'double dutch' until we started ttc DC1. Not yet sexually active again after DC2 but already discussed with DH that will likely double again now because I would be absolutely horrified and devastated to fall pregnant.

Previously I've used a few different combined pills, one of them have me terrible migraines though and had to come off it quickly. My old preferred pill doesn't exist anymore unfortunately! Have had the depo injections too, I loved that but coming off it was HORRIFIC as I had the worst bleeding ever for weeks and weeks on and off. And I'm someone who normally has very heavy periods anyway so that's saying something. I'd never go on the depo again purely for that reason which is a shame as I was on it a couple of years and it was so convenient. As I say, always used condoms as well though if the threat of pregnancy would have devastated me.

MolliciousIntent · 17/04/2022 20:09

Agree with the double Dutch approach - generally referred to as "belt and braces" in my house! She should absolutely go on some form of contraception that she has sole control over, but the BF should always, always wear a condom.

yogahippo · 17/04/2022 20:20

@Notwithittoday

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/ There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.
This is judgement, unpleasant, sexually shaming and actually largely untrue now. The article you link to is referencing developing countries. The increased risk of cervical cancer is caused by catching the HPV virus (generally the more partners you had, the more chance you had to get HPV). However at 16 the OPs DD will have been vaccinated against against HPV. Honestly at 16 there should be 4 questions 1) Are you happy about this? (not being coerced) 2) Are you being safe? (contraception ) 3) Are you able to talk to your partner about what you like? (sex should be fun for both parties) 4) Are the relationship dynamics safe? (ie no power/ age etc imbalance)

You can help by discussing all this with her.

albertsquirrelnuts · 17/04/2022 20:40

The article about cervical cancer was from a year after the HPV vaccine was rolled out so not really relevant now.

Taking your daughter to talk contraception through with a family planning clinic is probably your best option. Different things work well for different people. I would make sure she knows fully what the risks of catching an STI are and what to do if she ends up having unprotected sex (don't ignore it and most things can be treated if caught early enough).

Original poster
TheBestForLast · 17/04/2022 23:10

Very grateful for all your replies. Some really good advice. She has mentioned the implant and after reading about it I think this would be a good choice. Thank you for the link for brook as well I'm going to call them and make an appointment this week.

I've spoken to her about not being pressured and that it is her decision and that condoms must be worn to protect her from STD. She is very knowledgeable about it all because of the schools Relationship Sex Education curriculum.

I'm just happy she can come to me and ask me for help and not embarrassed or ashamed by it because whether I agree or not she's 16 and will have sex regardless.

OP posts:
Tomlettegregg · 17/04/2022 23:20

Don't threaten her with a cervical cancer. Honestly what a horrible response. She's being sensible. She's not so young. Many people lose their virginity at that age and it's a very good idea to be on birth control in case the condom breaks. Teenagers are not great at putting them on especially the first time plus obviously you can still get an sti. If she is unlikely to remember to take the pill then the implant is a good option.

Change123today · 17/04/2022 23:50

My daughter was already on the pill before she was in a long term relationship (acne & heavy irregular bleeding)
When she went on the pill we had a conversation about each person taking on the responsibility of protection. That she needed to feel ready & not pressured into anything. The importance of protecting herself from STD.

It’s great your daughter feels comfortable to have the conversation with you & hopefully will chat through with GP or other medical professional about what is right for her.

It is as important for boys to take on the responsibility as equally. My daughter is on the pill but they still use condoms - they are both taking responsibility to protect themselves & each other.

Calandor · 18/04/2022 01:50

She's 16. She doesn't need your permission. She can go to her GP or a sex clinic and get them herself and they're not allowed to tell you.

Try the pill first. The implant can really fuck up your periods. The pill can too but it's easier to stop or change.

Calandor · 18/04/2022 01:50

@Notwithittoday

Have you told her that her chances of cervical cancer increase the younger she begins intercourse and the more sexual partners she has? www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2670004/ There’s absolutely no way I would be supportive of her having sex this early in a relationship and this young.
She's 16 not 12. It's a pretty average age to start having sex.
timestheyarechanging · 18/04/2022 02:15

My daughter went on the pill at 15 due to her painful heavy periods, as did I. She didn't have sex until she was 20!

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