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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teens home alone for a few hours

46 replies

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 19:26

DH and I talked about going shopping but it’s to a city about 30 mins away. My Daughter 16 in a week and son 13 (14 in June) are not sure if they want to go. I don’t like going that far and leaving them. I am very cautious I have been at home since they were born so always been home with them. Do you leave your teens alone in the daytime? Thanks

OP posts:

autumnboys · 18/03/2022 19:28

Yes, I think this is fine. It’s good for them to start to develop their independence abs for you to have some time away from them. Enjoy your trip.

poodlepoop · 18/03/2022 19:29

Yes of course I can't believe they've never been left! Do they not go out and about by themselves? They'll be fine

LoganberryJam · 18/03/2022 19:31

Mine are 12, 14 and 16 - I would happily do this with any of them, alone or with sibling(s).

Strokethefurrywall · 18/03/2022 19:34

Err. Are you seriously asking if you should leave teens at home for a few hours in the day?

Not only would I not have an issue with this, I would actively encourage them to get used to us not being about.

Unless they have SEN, there is absolutely no reason why they can't manage a few hours at home without you, and I would be concerned if they couldn't manage.

CrabLegs · 18/03/2022 19:35

Literally all of the time.

Absolutely loads of secondary school children are by themselves every day after school until their parents come home.

GreenClock · 18/03/2022 19:36

Of course you can leave them in the day time. You can leave them in the evening if you wish! Enjoy your shopping trip.

Original poster

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 19:36

@poodlepoop they go out with there friend on a Saturday sometimes. It was more that were 30 mins drive away really.

OP posts:

CheshireCats · 18/03/2022 19:36

Can't believe you seriously need to ask - of course it is ok!! Jeez, give them some independence!

Original poster

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 19:40

@Strokethefurrywall
I thought people would think I was lame asking. But I just want to do the right thing. There good kids no problem. I just want to be a good mum and I know not letting them can be as bad as letting them do to much. Sorry I’m an over thinker!

OP posts:

actiongirl1978 · 18/03/2022 19:42

We leave 12 and 14 yrs for 3hrs and the older one longer if they are on their own (don't leave them together longer in case they argue!)

Can't imagine not leaving a 16yr old.

FawnFrenchieMum · 18/03/2022 19:42

I have left my 15 year old over night a few times now.

YellowDots · 18/03/2022 19:42

Your sixteen year old could be going to university in two years.

RedskyThisNight · 18/03/2022 19:44

@CrabLegs

Literally all of the time.

Absolutely loads of secondary school children are by themselves every day after school until their parents come home.

And the same children are often together all day by themselves during school holidays.

OP - perhaps you should examine why exactly you are so cautious to do something that it is perfectly normal!

BooksAndHooks · 18/03/2022 19:46

Yes especially with everyone having different weekend plans. Surely they go out at the weekends alone for more than a few hours? Safer at home than even going to town with friends?

Comedycook · 18/03/2022 19:50

I'm a pretty cautious parent but even I'm amazed this is even a question...unless they have sn or any other issues?

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 18/03/2022 19:51

My 12 yo would be absolutely fine. My 14yo would probably burn the place down. So I think it depends whether you can trust them as well as how old they are.

tiredanddangerous · 18/03/2022 19:54

You've never left an almost 16 year old?? That is far more neglectful that going on a shopping trip.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/03/2022 19:56

Fucking hell. If you can't leave your children, at their ages, for a few hours there is something very, very wrong.

Original poster

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 19:57

@Comedycook
Probably because I’ve never done it. They are both sensible intelligent kids to be honest. They get on really well. Me and DH never go out without them really just because they have always wanted to come with in the past. It’s just new for me. We don’t go out to the pub ever as we don’t drink so tend to be together most of the time.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 19:59

@Aquamarine1029
Wow wasn’t expecting that!

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 18/03/2022 20:01

I'm sorry, op, but you're really preventing them from gaining their independence. At their ages, you should be creating situations where they will be left alone to fend for themselves, appropriately, of course. They need to learn how to be self-sufficient and that takes practice.

ApolloandDaphne · 18/03/2022 20:01

We left our 16yo in charge of her sister age 11 while we went away for a night about 40 minutes away. It's good for youngsters to have a bit of responsibility.

Whattochoosenow · 18/03/2022 20:05

We left ours overnight for a night at that age, to go off and celebrate our wedding anniversary.

Whattochoosenow · 18/03/2022 20:05

@ApolloandDaphne snap!

Original poster

Jamn50 · 18/03/2022 20:05

@Aquamarine1029
I know you’re right…. Now might be a good time to have some date nights with DH to help them do this it has been many years since we’ve done that. I just am a person who always feels like I’m not getting it right. I’m really just try to be a good mum.

OP posts:

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