Teens home alone for a few hours

[Jamn50]

DH and I talked about going shopping but it’s to a city about 30 mins away. My Daughter 16 in a week and son 13 (14 in June) are not sure if they want to go. I don’t like going that far and leaving them. I am very cautious I have been at home since they were born so always been home with them. Do you leave your teens alone in the daytime? Thanks

This is baffling. This would have been fine about 2 years ago!

[quote Jamn50]@Aquamarine1029
I know you’re right…. Now might be a good time to have some date nights with DH to help them do this it has been many years since we’ve done that. I just am a person who always feels like I’m not getting it right. I’m really just try to be a good mum.[/quote]
Of course you're a good mum, just a bit overprotective it seems, but that's easily fixable. Another thing is now you and your husband can start to get your lives back a little, as a couple. My kids are in their 20's now and have flown the coop, but I remember very well how great it was to be able to go off by myself/with my husband without kids. No matter how much you love them, it's brilliant to get your own time back.

Op, being a good mum includes teaching children independence. Babying them like this does not help them.

I was living away from home at university at 16, at 13 I had a part time jobs (this was in 2006 and 2003 so not the dark ages).
With respect I think you need to let them have some independence. They're young adults not children.

I sometimes leave my 11yr old home for an hour or so while I pop to the shops in the daytime.

You’re smothering them

Wow. I would (and do) leave my 12 year old home alone in the day when a similar distance away. I wouldn't leave her for more than 2-3 hours as she'd get lonely but for a morning or afternoon, she's fine.
I sometimes leave her with her 10 year old (sensible) sibling too (but only for up to 45-60 mins and providing I'm no more than 10 mins' drive).

I lived alone at 16 🤣 amazed this is even a question

[quote Jamn50]@Comedycook
Probably because I’ve never done it. They are both sensible intelligent kids to be honest. They get on really well. Me and DH never go out without them really just because they have always wanted to come with in the past. It’s just new for me. We don’t go out to the pub ever as we don’t drink so tend to be together most of the time.[/quote]
Oh it's sweet they still want to go to places with you! My ds, nearly 14, hates being seen in public with us

My youngest is 11...she has and I've never left her alone but she has sn and is quite young for her age

Check they are happy, have phones, other adults to get hold of locally if there’s a problem, and have a lovely time. Mine love being left.

@Tillymintpolo
No I’m not. They don’t feel that at all. It probably was made worse with my DS having anxiety in lockdown having panic attacks and not eating and if my DH and I went for a short walk he would end up phoning or coming to find me. Thankfully with time and a lot of love and listening he’s back to his normal self but it I think has made me more protective

Wouldn't even hesitate! My oldest was coming home to an empty house at 11 after school. He and his brother who is 3 years younger have stayed home alone at night(as late as 11pm or so) from when he was 14, they are totally fine with it. I agree with those who say it is good for teenagers to learn to be independent.

Yes of course you can. It’s easy to be over protective especially after Covid, but now you can relax.

My DD is 16 and loves having the house to herself! She babysits her 10 year old sister sometimes if we want to go out in the evening, and has also started babysitting for other local parents too. She’s very sensible.

@Comedycook

I'm a pretty cautious parent but even I'm amazed this is even a question...unless they have sn or any other issues?

This! I am definitely on the cautious side of parenting and cannot believe you are asking this.

I have a 15 yo and a 13 yo and we happily leave them alone for a few hours. As another poster said, what do you think happens after school and holidays to all the secondary school kids?

I was looking after other people's kids at 13.

Not only do I leave my teens at home by themselves, they also frequently look after their younger siblings (8 and 9 years).

Can't believe this is a genuine question 😳
Are they not out and about all the time enjoying a bit of freedom?
Why on earth are you not leaving them?!

I’m currently in Thailand and my just 17 year old Is at home on her own for ten days.

They have to get used to managing by themselves. They won’t always be christened.

…Children even

😂

I'm about to leave my 13 year old at home alone for 7 hours 3 days of the week in Easter half term. I'll be 10 mins away and he is very sensible. I don't want to but am a single parent and my Mum who normally help is in hospital. Worse I imagine he will do is game the whole day- not ideal at all but I will get him out on my days off.

You do need to think that in a couple of years your dd will be 18 and in 30 months she could be off to university. You must start working up to her leaving home!

DS was home alone for two hours 4 days a week and whole days (not every day) in the school holidays at 11, I was 15 to 25 minutes away at work. I'd be happy to leave him overnight now at 15 but it's never come up.