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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Police

46 replies

UserMl · 17/03/2022 21:34

So my son along with a group were accused of bullying a girl in the class 3 months ago. At work today I got a call from the police telling me my son had to go to the police station on t he 8th of April and we had to go with a lawyer. as her parents have filed a complaint. I have felt physically sick all afternoon over this. Since we found out we’ve confiscated all electronic devises etc and had multiple talks about the seriousness of the situation. I feel terrible for the poor girl they were bullying ( name calling) and worried sick how I’m going to fork out 500 pounds to pay for the lawyer. Thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
ifoundthebread · 17/03/2022 21:39

I know bullying is serious but didn't think a complaint could be launched with the police over name calling unless it is hate speech?

No advice op, what does your son say about the situation?

NiceTwin · 17/03/2022 21:41

How old is your son?

Original poster
UserMl · 17/03/2022 21:41

15

OP posts:
MartinMartinMarti · 17/03/2022 21:45

First thought is that I’m very glad it’s being taken seriously.

Walesrecommendations · 17/03/2022 21:45

Are they asking him to come in for a voluntary interview? Sounds like it. Did they say what the offence was?

LaurieFairyCake · 17/03/2022 21:45

You don't need to turn up with counsel

Just no comment to the interview questions and DON'T accept a caution (can have repercussions for work etc)

That way you'll see if they have any evidence

Original poster
UserMl · 17/03/2022 21:56

We were told a lawyer needed to be there.

OP posts:
ENoeuf · 17/03/2022 22:01

Are they treating it as a hate crime? And I thought they had to provide a lawyer if you couldn’t afford one and were arrested?

ENoeuf · 17/03/2022 22:02

knowmyrights.org.uk/help-for-young-people

Does this help?

user1471443411 · 17/03/2022 22:03

It seems very strange that you were told a lawyer needed to be there, rather than advised you could have one if you wanted. Sounds like LaurieFairyCake has good advice, I'd follow that.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 17/03/2022 22:04

Suggesting saying no comment is a very bad idea.
Be helpful. Be honest. Do not just say 'no comment'. God. Worst advice ever.
And yes we've been in a similar situation. Didn't take a lawyer though. They should be able to point you in the direction of a lawyer if they are pressing charges. If it's just a questioning exercise, then I wouldn't worry overly, unless your son has done something/been part of something much more serious than he has let on.

Whatinthelord · 17/03/2022 22:09

I’d try to get clarity on what your actually going to the police station for. Surely it wouldn’t be for low level verbal bullying….is there a possibility something else happened eg a hate comment or attack?

It must be very upsetting for you, but it’s also good it is being addressed for the sake of the girl involved.

Hercisback · 17/03/2022 22:11

Pleased it's being taken seriously by the police.

Find out as much as possible beforehand.

Hohofortherobbers · 17/03/2022 22:11

Wouldn't the police be required to provide a lawyer if they are recommending one? Like the duty solicitor?

ScrumptiousBears · 17/03/2022 22:11

OP are you in the UK?

Tee20x · 17/03/2022 22:12

Strikes me as odd - positive that it's being taken seriously but children rarely get called in by the police for bullying. You say the parents have made a complaint - what are the actual charges/offence he is meant to have committed as bullying isn't one.

Personally like PP has said I would also give a no comment interview. People go into these things well intentioned thinking that if they tell the truth or their version of it the problem will magically go away. Under the pressure of the situation people get things wrong, the next minute you're being accused of changing your story bla bla bla. I would always advise going no comment, the onus is on the police to find the evidence that your son is guilty to let them do that.

Original poster
UserMl · 17/03/2022 22:19

I don’t live in the Uk.
The name calling was mostly via Snapchat

OP posts:
Original poster
UserMl · 17/03/2022 22:21

Apparently we could be fined 7,500 euros and. He could go to a young offenders institution for up to 1 year !!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
UserMl · 17/03/2022 22:23

I am feeling so sick over this and feel so lonely hubby’s not being supportive at all.

OP posts:
ItsDinah · 17/03/2022 22:29

I see you're not in the UK. Your son needs to speak to a lawyer in advance of the interview.

Andi2020 · 17/03/2022 22:30

@UserMl I do feel sorry for you and your son at age 15 sound a bit harsh for name calling to have to go yo young offenders.
My dd was hit across the face and taunted on social media with a recording of it by an ex bf I went to guards (roi)and they phoned his parents rang me back and said they told him to keep away from her and for her to stay away from him and that was it.
Do you know exactly what was in the snaps before you go to police station as the girl probably gave them her phone to read.

user1471443411 · 17/03/2022 22:36

It must be really worrying for you. I would get the best lawyer you can afford, you will feel better once you've spoken to them. Hopefully this is scare tactics by the police, to teach your son a lesson. That large a fine and a custodial sentence sound massivvely out of proportion to the crime (and I do have a great deal of sympathy for the girl). Hopefully your son feels ashamed and will show contrition in the police interview.

Shitfuckcommaetc · 17/03/2022 22:41

I have limited sympathy tbh.
Your son has hounded and verbally abused a girl over social media, to the extent that her parents have to get the police involved!
I hope they throw the book at him tbh

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 17/03/2022 22:51

This is potentially a harassment offence and that IS pretty serious IMO. I'm glad for the sake of the girl it's being taken seriously.