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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Police

46 replies

UserMl · 17/03/2022 21:34

So my son along with a group were accused of bullying a girl in the class 3 months ago. At work today I got a call from the police telling me my son had to go to the police station on t he 8th of April and we had to go with a lawyer. as her parents have filed a complaint. I have felt physically sick all afternoon over this. Since we found out we’ve confiscated all electronic devises etc and had multiple talks about the seriousness of the situation. I feel terrible for the poor girl they were bullying ( name calling) and worried sick how I’m going to fork out 500 pounds to pay for the lawyer. Thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 18/03/2022 05:32

If you’re not in the UK and gave the maximum fine in Euro, why did you quote the lawyer’s cost in Pounds in your OP? That’s pretty misleading.

Original poster
UserMl · 18/03/2022 06:27

I’m sorry I certainly didn’t do it on purpose I’m too used to mixing the 2 up

OP posts:
CrabLegs · 18/03/2022 06:57

I wouldn't ask a policeman the time without a lawyer, never mind go to an interview about a crime with my 15 year old where I clearly didn't know the facts of what had happened.

YellowDots · 18/03/2022 06:59

Once you have been and you've found out whether he did it or not you can sell all his valuables to pay for the lawyer.

If he did do it obviously!

musicalfrog · 18/03/2022 07:04

Is there nothing in your ds phone to show you what actually was said?

What's his side of the story?

I would need to know this in your position.

LadyGAgain · 18/03/2022 07:18

Tell your son he shall be paying the lawyer fees (assuming he has an allowance). He deserves it. Wish our police dealt with bullying here in the same way.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2022 07:38

As the parent of a DD who was very unpleasantly picked on by a group of boys at school during a physics lesson when the teacher left the room I'm pleased that this is being taken seriously.

It wasn't a police matter though. What your DS did must have been pretty serious for the police to be involved, and if it was on social media they will be able to retrieve the evidence.

ParaMonkeyNut · 18/03/2022 07:45

I am very glad that the bullying is being taken seriously. If your boy is innocent, he will clear his name but if he has been awful to an innocent girl, he needs dealing with.

It must however come as an awful shock to you op. Do you not agree that bullying should be cracked down hard? If the police gets involved the "name calling" must have been pretty serious.

Original poster
UserMl · 18/03/2022 08:21

Si ive just been on the phone to the school who have informed me that the girls parents have filed a complaint as the bullying has continued. The head told me my son is not part of the continual bullying but as he was originally involved they filed a complaint against him as well

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/03/2022 08:30

You need to find out from your son exactly what has been going on as it sounds far more serious than name calling. Are you sure it’s not photos/sexual harassment or similar.

user1487194234 · 18/03/2022 08:39

Get a good lawyer
Don't fall in to the trap of thinking the police are there to help you and if you just tell them the truth it will be ok

Oblomov22 · 18/03/2022 08:44

I agree. Get a lawyer. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that the police are there to help you because they aren't.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/03/2022 09:11

Er yeah ignore my advice if you're not in the UK

Get a lawyer Thanks

user1487194234 · 18/03/2022 11:52

Even in the UK people should always get a lawyer

ENoeuf · 18/03/2022 12:10

user1487194234

Even in the UK people should always get a lawyer

Yup if I was under the impression I was in any way a suspect I would not be answering any questions without a solicitor

LynetteScavo · 18/03/2022 16:35

My thoughts are that people are less able to offer practical advise if they don't know what country you are in.

I also think this girl must have been feeling physically sick because of the bullying, and I'm glad she has pro-active parents who are doing their best to stop it. If you'd removed all electronic devises from your DS when you were first alerted to the bullying your DS would be less likely to be implicated in any further bullying.

You've been advised to get a lawyer, so what ever it costs, you need to do that. Your DS can pay you back by having smaller Christmas/birthday presents and fewer treats.

I'm generally quite soft on my DC but, bloody hell, if I ever found any of them had bullied someone they'd be much more scared of me than the police.

Your DS needs to understand not only the financial implications of his actions, but the misery he's caused you, and of course the girl.

Original poster
UserMl · 18/03/2022 19:20

We took away all electronic devices away when we were alerted to the situation. He’s not been involved in any further bullying I spoke to the head today who assured me he stopped straight away. Her parents have decided to Fiona complaint against all children involved, as 2 out of the group continued the bullying. My son will be Suspended for 2 days.

OP posts:
Original poster
UserMl · 18/03/2022 19:21

And we will be selling his new telephone to pay for the lawyer

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 19/03/2022 09:21

Why is your DS being suspended now for two days, and not when the bullying first came to light? (Or is this a drip feed?) Is it because the girls parents have now got the police involved? Maybe if all who were had been suspended initially the bullying would have stopped, and it wouldn't have got to the point where the parents had felt the need to contact the police. Or maybe I'm confused about the timeline.

Hopefully your DS will come to understand the hurt he's contributed to, and it will be a big learning experience for him. I've never met a happy bully, so I would be considering very carefully my DS's life, and why he thought this behaviour was OK.

Original poster
UserMl · 19/03/2022 12:54

I thought it was odd the school are only now sanctioning the children involved. Aparerently there was a large group in the class who were talking about this girl and messaging her via WhatsApp.
It first came to light nearly 3 months ago

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 19/03/2022 15:43

So the police will have plenty of evidence then.

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