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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

School concerned about DS

27 replies

fizzypop100 · 27/01/2022 18:44

A while ago I had a call to say he seems lethargic and low. Had parent's evening last night and it was mentioned again. He looks low and subdued. I don't understand because at home and at weekend he's fine. Energetic and active. Sees friends and does his sports. Phone goes off at night via parent control app.
What can I do ?

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 27/01/2022 22:41

Does he go to sleep at a reasonable hour?

HunkyPunk · 27/01/2022 23:05

I think many schools try to be much more on the ball now, when it comes to pupils’ mh issues. Which is great, but sometimes over-zealous.

At the last (online) parents evening we had, one of the teachers unexpectedly asked at the end of an otherwise positive 5mins, whether there was anything wrong, as ds had seemed a bit down in her class the previous week. I was quite surprised and said I would have a word with him afterwards.

On enquiring about his state of mind, it transpired that the exchange between the teacher and ds had taken place on the first day back after half-term, in the first period on Monday morning (maths), when she had asked him if he was ok, as he didn’t look very happy (I imagine he was the very picture of misery at that particular moment!) He assured me he was fine.

Have you asked your ds whether things are ok at school?

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 28/01/2022 14:47

His phone is disconnected by an app at night. I think he is bored tbh

OP posts:
wishmyhousetidy · 28/01/2022 15:59

@fizzypop100

His phone is disconnected by an app at night. I think he is bored tbh
what do you mean- because his phone is as good as confiscated at night? Think the op was just saying he got enough sleep at night
YellowLemonz · 28/01/2022 16:03

How old is he?

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 28/01/2022 19:06

15

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzypop100 · 28/01/2022 19:07

@wishmyhousetidy because many kids are on their phones at night and don't get enough sleep

OP posts:
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 28/01/2022 19:13

Do you mean he's bored at night or he's bored at school?

Either way all you can do is talk to him (while you're doing something else to reduce pressure and embarrassment works best) and observe.

Nobody of any age needs their mobile phone during the night - leave everyone's phone in the living room (inaccessibly locked via a family app if you think he'll be sneaking about to get ot at night).

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 28/01/2022 19:17

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Do you mean he's bored at night or he's bored at school?

Either way all you can do is talk to him (while you're doing something else to reduce pressure and embarrassment works best) and observe.

Nobody of any age needs their mobile phone during the night - leave everyone's phone in the living room (inaccessibly locked via a family app if you think he'll be sneaking about to get ot at night).

I did say that it's locked via a parent app
OP posts:
MrsWooster · 28/01/2022 19:21

Are you sure his phone is off..? My not particularly savvy 11yo is running rings round our attempts to curtail his time on phone, Xbox etC. I think we’re keeping ahead but only just.

ElftonWednesday · 28/01/2022 19:25

At 15 I had a very strong resting bored/grumpy face, and would get told off for not listening/looking uninterested/to cheer up. I was perfectly cheerful and actually listening!

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 28/01/2022 19:27

@MrsWoosterrs the parent app screenshots, so I would be able to see any phone usage

OP posts:
Russell19 · 28/01/2022 19:37

Just because he's not on his phone doesn't mean he's not awake doing other things? TV, reading, music, whatever else teenagers do.... is he actually getting a good night's sleep regardless of phone?

Gregsprinkles · 28/01/2022 19:39

Maybe he doesn't like school?

Teaforme123 · 28/01/2022 19:46

Does ha have a TV in his room? Or a tablet? He could still be awake, otherwise have you considered getting his bloods taken to check his iron levels? Does he eat enough?

Moonface123 · 28/01/2022 19:47

There are vitamin supplements specifically for teens, they usually go through quite a growth spurt at 15.

AncientWhitedogpoop · 28/01/2022 19:51

@ElftonWednesday

At 15 I had a very strong resting bored/grumpy face, and would get told off for not listening/looking uninterested/to cheer up. I was perfectly cheerful and actually listening!
That's the worst isn't it? When someone says "is everything ok, you look upset" but you feel perfectly fine! I get this quite often but I obviously must look like a miserable git. I promise I'm not!
2bazookas · 28/01/2022 20:20

what does DS say ?

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 29/01/2022 14:38

@Moonface123

There are vitamin supplements specifically for teens, they usually go through quite a growth spurt at 15.
Thankyou but he already has vitamins,including D
OP posts:
Original poster
fizzypop100 · 29/01/2022 14:39

@Teaforme123

Does ha have a TV in his room? Or a tablet? He could still be awake, otherwise have you considered getting his bloods taken to check his iron levels? Does he eat enough?
No TV or anything like that in his room.. He has a great diet as a serious climber
OP posts:
Dogmatix34 · 29/01/2022 14:42

Sorry to derail the thread but what parental app do you use? We have screen limits but my DS seems to find his way around them all the time.

Whatinthelord · 29/01/2022 14:42

Have you asked him if there are any particular issues at school.
Maybe there a bullying issue….or if he’s particularly bright maybe he isn’t engaged with his school work.

Original poster
fizzypop100 · 29/01/2022 15:52

@Dogmatix34

Sorry to derail the thread but what parental app do you use? We have screen limits but my DS seems to find his way around them all the time.
Safe lagoon. It's fantastic
OP posts:
Ihaventgottimeforthis · 29/01/2022 16:31

What does he think? Have you asked him?

waterrat · 29/01/2022 16:35

I found school incredibly boring at that age. School probably trying yo be helpful but let's be realistic you can't control teens moods all day every day.