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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DS being blackmailed

53 replies

TinaYouFatLard · 18/12/2021 14:37

I’m beside myself with worry. I’ve just discovered DS (13) has been blackmailed by someone posing as a teenage girl on Instagram. We’re trying to piece it together but it seems someone messaged him and got him to set up a Hangouts account where they tricked him into sending intimate pictures. They then turned very aggressive and threatening, blackmailing him into sending money.

We found out because he was trying to send money via western union who contacted us. He’s devastated and absolutely terrified this person will follow through on their threats.

What the fuck do we do? Obviously a serious review of our phone policy is happening. Do these people usually follow through on their threats or do they move on to another victim?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 18/12/2021 14:40

He'll just have to call their bluff and not send any money. Seek advice from the police too over the blackmail

statetrooperstacey · 18/12/2021 14:41

Report this to the police, he’s not. The first and he won’t be the last. They will be able to advise you.

MissyB1 · 18/12/2021 14:41

Report to Police immediately. They are well used to dealing with this.

dementedpixie · 18/12/2021 14:42

Think you can report it on Instagram too

Mumoblue · 18/12/2021 14:43

Call the police.

PotteringAlong · 18/12/2021 14:43

Report it to the police immediately!

bonfireheart · 18/12/2021 14:45

Yes to contacting the police.
Is his face visible in the pic? I only ask because I know the thing DC would be most upset about is the pics being shared online and they're friends seeing them.

TinaYouFatLard · 18/12/2021 14:45

We’re away on holiday at the moment. Do I contact police at home? I can’t think straight.

OP posts:
SnipSnipMrBurgess · 18/12/2021 14:45

He def isn't the first or last this will happen to.

Ensure he has them blocked on everything, report to the police.

They won't release photos but if on a rare one in a billion chance they do, they usually send to friend lists or work/school. Get him to bluff it out as hacking and photoshop.

Tell him this too will pass

sadpapercourtesan · 18/12/2021 14:45

Oh no, the poor boy. He must be beside himself.

Definitely contact the police. They are very familiar with this set-up, it happens a lot.

bonfireheart · 18/12/2021 14:49

My local police allow you to report certain incidents online via their website chat. See if yours does similar.

lemmein · 18/12/2021 14:52

Aw your poor boy Sad I'd contact the police immediately - thank god you've been informed. These people knock me sick. Do they know he's 13? I'd reply that you're reporting them for sexually exploiting a child, they'll probably move on to the next one and leave him alone Sad

It happened to a friend of my DDs - he's an adult though and they fleeced him for £6k, they kept coming back for more.

It's the one thing I've always tried to drum into my DDs; no matter what they've done, no matter what other people use against them I'll ALWAYS be on their side. It's the shame that lets these people operate, remove it, your boy has nothing to be ashamed of - we've all done stupid shit!

TheWeeDonkey · 18/12/2021 14:57

Report to the police. Whoever this person is is in a whole heap more trouble than your son.

Grooming a child to access intimate images and threatening to share those images is something they don't ignore.

Your poor boy, you must all be devastated. Hugs to you, these people are sick.

TinaYouFatLard · 18/12/2021 15:28

I’ve reported via an online form.

DS is a quiet, sensitive boy with severe low self-esteem issues. I’m terrified about what this could do to him. Would they really post pictures? I suppose I’m looking for reassurance that they won’t. What could they gain by doing so?

OP posts:
viques · 18/12/2021 15:38

I would hope that the people doing this awful thing to your son are savvy enough to to realise that if they send the photos on to anyone they are committing a criminal offence , if they are smart enough to set up western union accounts I hope they are smart enough to know the law about publishing indecent images, especially of minors.

Your son has done nothing wrong except be a young lad coming to terms with growing up in a harsh world that is not always kind to gentle people. He has been incredibly brave so far in confessing to you, make sure you praise him, tell him that when these people are caught then his bravery has helped others in his situation and he should be proud of himself for that. Help him to research ways of keeping safe on line, maybe he can think of a way to tell other young people at school about how to keep themselves safe from online predators ( without disclosing everything that happened to him ) Perhaps there is a computer club at school he could work with.

TheWeeDonkey · 18/12/2021 15:39

@TinaYouFatLard

I’ve reported via an online form.

DS is a quiet, sensitive boy with severe low self-esteem issues. I’m terrified about what this could do to him. Would they really post pictures? I suppose I’m looking for reassurance that they won’t. What could they gain by doing so?

What would they gain?

About 5 to 10 years and they'd be on the sex offenders register. This is child sexual exploitation. Its a very serious offense.

This is not your son's shame, he is a child. Councelling may help. This is a serious violation and his feelings are perfectly normal, poor love. I'm so sorry your family are going through this.

KittenCatcher · 18/12/2021 15:47

Your poor boy, he is very brave and mature to share this with you, he must feel very scared. He has done nothing wrong, he is being exploited by blackmailing scum. The police will investigate this. I have no idea what Hangouts is but do they have a reporting system in place.

daschundsanddancer · 18/12/2021 16:06

Tell him to delete or make his instagram and all social media completely private- they may already have the details of his friends, but if they think the money is coming, then they might not yet.

And yes- report to police. sorry you're going through this.

Orangelimes · 18/12/2021 16:19

They won’t post the pictures. It’s all threats to get money. They’d be daft to actually post them as they’d have committed a much more serious crime by doing that and there is no gain for them.

NekoShiro · 18/12/2021 16:20

They can't post it, it's child pornography. The fact that you're child took the photos means he produced child pornography technically.

Viviennemary · 18/12/2021 16:23

Report to police immediately. This is probably an organised criminal gang.

AndSoFinally · 18/12/2021 17:04

If they did post pictures, like someone else said it would be to his friends list on Facebook etc. Get him to shut his account down so there won't be a list to send them to? I don't know if this would work but someone on here will know, I'm sure.

ScrumptiousBears · 18/12/2021 19:35

Get him to take screen shots of everything including the username and URLs of the offending accounts. I've seen you've reported to the police. 99.99% this will be from outside of the UK. This is a massive lesson learned and this is the downside of social media and why kids need to be so careful. In my experience the offenders haven't followed through with the threats it's easy money they want and they do this day in day out.

supercritter · 18/12/2021 19:40

www.ceop.police.uk/Safety-Centre/ might be helpful

rightsideoftheroad · 18/12/2021 19:46

These are scammers. They won't post the pictures. If they are asking for money via western union they are probably based somewhere very far away and operate a network of these scams.

Report to Instagram, the police, tell your son to disengage with them entirely and block. It will go away.