Page 2 | DS being blackmailed

TinaYouFatLard · 2021-12-18T14:37:13+00:00

I’m beside myself with worry. I’ve just discovered DS (13) has been blackmailed by someone posing as a teenage girl on Instagram. We’re trying to piece it together but it seems someone messaged him and got him to set up a Hangouts account where they tricked him into sending intimate pictures. They then turned very aggressive and threatening, blackmailing him into sending money. We found out because he was trying to send money via western union who contacted us. He’s devastated and absolutely terrified this person will follow through on their threats. What the fuck do we do? Obviously a serious review of our phone policy is happening. Do these people usually follow through on their threats or do they move on to another victim?

GrazingSheep · 18/12/2021 19:46

How did Western Union contact you?

IncompleteSenten · 18/12/2021 19:49

Report it to the police.
The last thing you should ever do is send them money. They'll never stop demanding more.

He should delete all his social media stuff and not engage with them at all.

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 18/12/2021 20:00

@rightsideoftheroad

These are scammers. They won't post the pictures. If they are asking for money via western union they are probably based somewhere very far away and operate a network of these scams.

Report to Instagram, the police, tell your son to disengage with them entirely and block. It will go away.

Exactly. Unfortunately this is a common scam. These are organised scammers that will have thousands of pornographic pictures in their data base that they will have acquired and use the photos to blackmail their scared victims into giving them money. Problem is once you give them money and they know the victim has access to it and is willing to do it then they'll come back and ask for more.

There's probably not much the police can do tbh as these criminals will know all the tricks to staying a few steps ahead of the police and hiding their identity and location. So a threat about going to the police will most likely be laughable to them. 😕

picklemewalnuts · 18/12/2021 20:12

Please reassure him that scammers are excellent at what they do- many many people get caught out by scams of one kind of another. Make sure he knows they are nasty minded gits, and that he's just been unlucky.

Random789 · 18/12/2021 20:16

Contact the poice. Supercritter's link looks really useful.

I'm sure they won't follow through on their threats. They rely on horrifying their poor victims into silence. Thank goodness you found out.

Give your poor DS a hug and reassure him that lots and lots of young people have been scammed like this. It isn't his fault. It is the fault of the manipulative bastards that did this to him.

Original poster

TinaYouFatLard · 18/12/2021 20:40

Thank you so much to all of you that have offered advice. It’s really helping.

Earlier I was just panicking that the scammer would reveal the pictures. Now it’s hitting me that my poor DS has been violated in a dreadful way. My heart breaks for him.

We’ve talked lots and he knows there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Thank god I found out quickly and we put a stop to it before it went too far. This is a subject we talk about a lot. They do loads of work at school about online safety and I have been clear that they should never engage with strangers online and NEVER send pictures. I thought we’d covered it.

OP posts:

Original poster

TinaYouFatLard · 18/12/2021 23:19

@GrazingSheep

How did Western Union contact you?

DH and I both had several strange emails and missed calls.

OP posts:

lemmein · 19/12/2021 01:34

He must be so relieved that you know now OP. I can't imagine dealing with this now in my 40s, never mind at 13 - poor kid.

IvoryViolets · 19/12/2021 14:56

How many personal details did he give out?
Do the pics show his face? If yes, the school needs to know also. A meeting with the Head Teacher to discuss.
Definitely go to the police no matter how much he says he doesn’t want to go. This needs to be dealt with. Then he’ll need a talking to about how stupid he’s been. You’ll need to be more aware of what he’s using online and on his phone. Don’t trust your child to behave like an adult and be aware of this crap. Check and been seen to regularly check all SM accounts and phone

IvoryViolets · 19/12/2021 14:58

@TinaYouFatLard

Thank you so much to all of you that have offered advice. It’s really helping.

Earlier I was just panicking that the scammer would reveal the pictures. Now it’s hitting me that my poor DS has been violated in a dreadful way. My heart breaks for him.

We’ve talked lots and he knows there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Thank god I found out quickly and we put a stop to it before it went too far. This is a subject we talk about a lot. They do loads of work at school about online safety and I have been clear that they should never engage with strangers online and NEVER send pictures. I thought we’d covered it.

You’re telling your child that sending dick pics isn’t anything to be ashamed about, you do realise that if he sent these to another child the consequences with the police and school could be utterly devastating for him.

Snugglepumpkin · 19/12/2021 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gsaoej · 19/12/2021 15:13

police
this is a bread and butter cyber crime

tell your ds not to worry about any of it. all men have dicks - so what if the blackmailer publishes it. blackmailers rarely follow through on their threats anyway. they are cowardly little shits.

Possomcandle · 19/12/2021 15:21

I am sure I heard something on the radio in the autumn to help with this. I think possibly linked to childline or nspcc.

You could send / report the images to this secure help centre and they would search the Web to make sure the images weren't out there/ delete them if they were.

Here, found it...

www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/news-opinion/2021/childline-tool-remove-nude-images-online/

Songsofgoodcheer · 19/12/2021 15:26

@Snugglepumpkin

He should be ashamed. He should learn that this is a disgusting thing to do & if he does it then he is disgusting too.

Just like we teach children not to shit in the streets & we don't coddle them & tell them that being so disgusting is nothing to be ashamed of.
Teach your son not to be a sexual abuser, don't support him to grow up being the sort of man who does this.

Rapists were someones 'little' boy once too.
Where do you think they come from?

Oh piss off ffs. What am I reading?! Yes as parents it's our job to teach our CHILDREN right from wrong but to also support and guide them when they make mistakes. OP your son is not disgusting he was tricked and then blackmailed and you sound lovely and like a great mum. He has done nothing wrong apart from being naive but it sounds like he will be ok with you by his side.

JustFrustrated · 19/12/2021 15:30

@Snugglepumpkin

He should be ashamed. He should learn that this is a disgusting thing to do & if he does it then he is disgusting too.

Just like we teach children not to shit in the streets & we don't coddle them & tell them that being so disgusting is nothing to be ashamed of.
Teach your son not to be a sexual abuser, don't support him to grow up being the sort of man who does this.

Rapists were someones 'little' boy once too.
Where do you think they come from?

You are aware the images in question, were of the OPs son? Not someone else. He took photos of himself.

That, in and of itself, is not disgusting.

The human body and sexualisation of it, is not disgusting.

What IS disgusting is these scammers preying on a CHILD.

You're so far wide of the mark, you can't even see it.

This child is the victim. He hasn't coerced anyone into anything. Or done anything wrong. He took photos of himself,looking for validation. It wasn't smart, indeed it was stupid, but the only person harmed here is him.

Of course he needs "coddling" or as I prefer to think of it, love and support to not only deal with the immediate aftermath but also the events and psychological incident's leading up to it.

ivfbabymomma1 · 19/12/2021 15:44

@Snugglepumpkin

He should be ashamed. He should learn that this is a disgusting thing to do & if he does it then he is disgusting too.

Just like we teach children not to shit in the streets & we don't coddle them & tell them that being so disgusting is nothing to be ashamed of.
Teach your son not to be a sexual abuser, don't support him to grow up being the sort of man who does this.

Rapists were someones 'little' boy once too.
Where do you think they come from?

What absolutely nonsense 😂😂😂😂😂

dalrympy · 19/12/2021 15:45

@Snugglepumpkin what planet are you on?
This poor child has been a bit foolish but he is NOT the abuser.

Check yourself. You are the disgusting one.

OP - you have handled it really well. Teens have so much to deal with these days.

MatildaJayne · 19/12/2021 16:02

Ignore that poster. This is a child who has been groomed online and blackmailed. Victim blaming much?

AnyFucker · 19/12/2021 16:04

@Snugglepumpkin bollocks

rbdash · 19/12/2021 16:13

@Snugglepumpkin wow!! Geez are you ok?? He’s a 13 year old CHILD. Kids these days are growing up in an entirely different world to the one we grew up in. OP you’ve done the right thing and I’m so glad he has the kind of relationship with you where he can talk to you. As everyone has said, they gain nothing by posting the pictures and they are just relying on his fear for him to send the money. If he doesn’t send the money, they will move on to the next child (as awful as that is). There are some truly evil people in this world. I hope your son is ok and is able to move on from this.

Original poster

TinaYouFatLard · 19/12/2021 16:24

Thank you for already dealing with @Snugglepumpkin and they’re revolting comment.

Would you tell a child in real life that they were disgusting and should be ashamed, if they were manipulated by a groomer to expose their body.

The shame lies with you after that comment.

OP posts:

TheWeeDonkey · 19/12/2021 16:38

I really hope you don't have kids @snugglepumpkin you read all the time on here about adults who have been damaged by victim blaming adults of their own childhood trauma.

NotAnotherCrapHamper · 19/12/2021 16:40

They are most likely in Eastern Europe (Russia)

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 16:49

He's been tricked as have many adults have. I don't know if he'd feel better reading about other people who were conned by people who they thought were genuine or loved them.

Unlikely but if they send it then he needs to say it's not him (if his face isn't visible) or say that it's a deep fake. Apparently on the dark web there's porn movies where the actresses' head has been replaced by a famous person and it looks very convincing.

I'm really sorry that he's fallen for this scam. Maybe a gentle chat on if he understands why adults and schools teach the online safety tips? Would he consider locking down his social media now and being selective about who he talks to? How would he deal with a request next time?

I hope that the police are helpful.

Omgthatssointeresting · 20/12/2021 16:25

Anyone telling you what they will/won't do is talking nonsense and I'm guessing has no experience in this domain.

I'm afraid the reality is not great. The one thing I can tell you for sure is that these images will not be deleted. They may send the images to some contacts only as a warning. They may leave it and just sell them on.

Ultimately they are professionals with no morals and only one goal of extracting as much money as possible. It is important to know exactly what your DS has said to them and what personal info has been exposed. If he has sounded desperate they may pursue more aggressively.

You also want to get someone with cybercrime experience on the police. Your average officer will be close to useless here.

Last bit of bad news. You will not catch them. They have already got away with it and they wouldn't still be in business if they could be traced so give up on any expectations of justice now.

Good luck