Son not attending uni and wants to leave

[Ay2k1]

He’s no viable alternative and wants to leave currently living at home any ideas

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@titchy
Uni students aren’t eligible for UC....[/quote]
He's quitting uni. So he will be.

He has autism dyspraxia and adhd

Hmmm does he do practice tests? Does he know where he is going wrong. Can someone do the tests with him or even for him if that’s the hurdle?

@Ay2k1

He’s been applying for supper market jobs since he was 16 I’ve helped him on probably 100s of applications for them in that time period every time he applies for one we get sent a online test to do within 5 minutes of completing it he gets told his unsuccessful

Ah ok. Most of the big supermarkets will have recruitment evenings for Christmas staff so look out for those rather than go through the online process which can be rather random.

Claiming UC could actually help - he'll have an advisor who will be targeted with getting him off benefits.

It’s not test it’s doing research..

He has autism dyspraxia and adhd

In that case I would definitely contact the organisation someone mentioned above. Also if he quits uni and goes on universal credit he will have access to all sorts of courses and advice to help him get a job.

@titchy

I guess your impression that he’s a “lazy sod” was wrong

He has autism dyspraxia and adhd

He can’t claim uc due to the amount we earn? Or would I be mistaken

As mentioned above, if he claims UC he will have a work coach seeing him at least once a week. Currently there are kickstart jobs aimed at under 25s which are great if he lacks experience.

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@titchy

I guess your impression that he’s a “lazy sod” was wrong

He has autism dyspraxia and adhd[/quote]
Yep fair enough. Would have been helpful to post this first!

But yes he will be entitled to UC, as an adult in his own right, regardless of OP's income.

@Ay2k1

He can’t claim uc due to the amount we earn? Or would I be mistaken

Yes you're mistaken

It doesn’t sound like this course is right for him or that it’s worth doing TBH.

If he likes to be outdoors, then could he look into landscape gardening, tree surgery, land management? If he’s good with his hands and practical then plumbing, electrician etc. If he’s got a license then HGV driving - lots of bootcamps starting up.

It sounds like helping him find an occupation is not something you have many skills in (and why should you) so I think you need to make an appointment with his old college career advise service and talk to them about apprenticeships or training. You need to help him get help basically - university isn’t working out, and a supermarket job isn’t an ideal long term occupation due to very low pay.

He can also apply for PIP. You can have PIP whether employed or unemployed and it is not means tested.

He gets pip

I did a search and there are charities that help people with autism find jobs/careers

National Autistic Society. www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment

The Job Centre should also be able to put him in touch with a Disability Employment Advisor who should know about U.K. gov programs to assist people with autism into employment and support them while working as well.

What @Luredbyapomegranate said. Jobs outside sound like the way forward.

Maybe apply to the Royal Mail too? I know a couple of fairly happy posties and one of them has autism.

If he's going to leave Uni make sure he does it properly and tells the uni, in writing,before the end of term. Otherwise he could end up liable for next terms fees.

@Ay2k1 my son is in uni, he also has ASD and ADHD - he suffers from crippling social anxiety. Like your boy, he stopped attending and was threatening to drop out. We got him a medical leave of absence and he took a year out. He repeated the year and got a first. Unfortunately the anxiety has kicked in again and we have now booked him to see a therapist. We are engaging with the disability liaison which is important.
Your son needs to see the equivalent of these people wherever he is, they will advise and might facilitate things like a change of course- perhaps something science related. The main benefit of an arts degree is not necessarily to prepare you for a career in your chosen subject but rather to teach you to think critically- would this way of thinking help him to accept his course? Just a thought. PM me if you want to know more about how we secured leave for my son (we are ROI but relatively similar)

He didn’t want to go to uni I made him as he hadn’t found a job in 5 months

Does he get any disability support or adjustments at University? If nothing is currently in place perhaps contact them to see if they can help.

However it sounds like he doesn’t really want to do the course, in which case he needs help figuring out what he would actually like to do.

Does he have any special interests? What does he spend his time doing? Any particular skills or strengths? It will be easier for him to study/work in an area related to these.

Finally, as a parent of an autistic child, I am fully aware that he may not be able to follow the traditional University/job route. My primary goal is for him to live a happy, fulfilled life whatever that may look like for him. Some autistic adults are not able to work or live independently, and having expectations about what they ‘should’ be doing is not helpful to them.

OP you have been given lots of good advice but do not seem to be picking up on any of it. Get him to speak to his personal tutor at uni. Did he apply for DSA (for additional support) - let him leave but he needs to do it properly - making him to uni was a bad idea. Follow up some of the suggestions to get support with a job application - it isn't impossible - also not just any job - true he needs to earn money but talk to him about what he really wants to do and come up with a plan. Work with him not against him.

OP, has he fallen behind and feeling overwhelmed? If so, can you help him? My DS was in a similar position and I sat with him and together we caught up with all his work. He feels completely differently about things now and is committed to continuing. Some DC just need a bit of support, no matter how old they are.

It’s a degree in the arts can’t remember what specifically

You don’t know what your son is studying at university?

You ‘made him’ go to
Uni. That’s the crux of the issue here.
He needs to get out of the uni course and access all the help etc he can get through charities & organisations that help autistic young people.

If he has autism and receives PIP maybe he needs to do some voluntary type work to try and build up his confidence? Perhaps university and full time employment is too much for him in terms of pressure etc? Voluntary work would help to build up his cv and provide references which will help long term too.