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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Dd lying about age

66 replies

Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 11:13

Just found out my dd 14 has been lying about her age to buy clothes online. The site she’s using says it’s over 18 only and you have to tick to confirm you’re over 18.
I’m happy with her biting her own clothes on line ;she gets an allowance) but not about her blatantly lying to me that she doesn’t lie about her age.
I know it’s not the end of world but had issues with her lying in the past and thought it had all stopped.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 15/10/2021 13:07

Ha. At 14 I had a fake ID saying I was 18 and I used it to buy vodka, rum, lambrini for all my friends!!
Count yourself lucky she's buying clothes.

Bite your tongue and get on with your day.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 13:16

It’s her card. Why would she not be covered for fraud?

OP posts:
Mantlemoose · 15/10/2021 13:26

Massive overreaction- shes nit taking fake OD to the pub!

Viviennemary · 15/10/2021 13:26

Because she has most likely violated the terms and conditions governing the use of the card by lying about her age.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 13:44

I’d not considered the fraud aspect before but you might have a point. Does anyone know about this for sure?

OP posts:
00100001 · 15/10/2021 13:57

[quote Sparkles56]@00100001 thanks, that’s a really good idea 👍
Then when we realise she does have to be over 18, do I let her continue or stop.
I was fine with her buying stuff until l found out about the age limit. Maybe I could just ask her to let me know when she’s buying stuff?[/quote]
She is letting you know though...

I'd be inclined to go for the approach of "let me know so we can double check you're not getting scammed...or something"

But honestly? Id let it go...

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 14:03

@00100001 yes, I was going to do that, until I read the comments about re fraud!

OP posts:
LivingNextDoorToNorma · 15/10/2021 14:12

Do you read the ‘terms and conditions’ before you tick the box @Sparkles56 I’m not being awkward, but do you? If not you’re technically lying. It could also have implications for fraud, if you’ve agreed to something that you don’t realise.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 14:24

So does anyone know for sure if there are any implications of her buying from online retailers and lying about her age?

OP posts:
peboh · 15/10/2021 14:29

You do not have to be over 18 to buy clothes online, I've never had to put my dob in or tick a box on any of the sites I use to purchase clothes so I'm not sure where she's buying from.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 14:31

@peboh I’ve just checked a few sites eg Zara and they all state you have to be over 18. I had no idea either

OP posts:
MatildaIThink · 15/10/2021 16:15

@Sparkles56

So does anyone know for sure if there are any implications of her buying from online retailers and lying about her age?
She would loose consumer rights related to faulty goods etc. if that ever became an issue. Technically they could close the account and blacklist her, but that is unlikely unless she does something like applies for credit on their site.
Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 16:34

@MatildaIThink thanks for the info.
She’s still been able to return things for refunds though. So guess it’s probably ok. Hopefully she hasn’t applied for credit - assume she couldn’t anyway as there’d be age checks.

OP posts:
MatildaIThink · 15/10/2021 16:45

[quote Sparkles56]@MatildaIThink thanks for the info.
She’s still been able to return things for refunds though. So guess it’s probably ok. Hopefully she hasn’t applied for credit - assume she couldn’t anyway as there’d be age checks.[/quote]
It is less returns, more if she tried to exercise rights under the CRA which were more than the basics such as returns, eg. where there is some form of dispute. The checks on credit application would be the most likely flag and that would result in closure and blacklisting as she would not pass the credit checks, something like Klarna would be the biggest risk for that as it seems to be on so many sites these days as an option on checkout.

The only other trigger might be if she tried to buy something age restricted. The retailers cannot see certain flags on a card unless they are applicable, but if she tried to buy alcohol, kitchen knives etc. then her card might flag as an under 18 card. The same as corporate cards have many flags and blocks in place.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 15/10/2021 17:45

@MatildaIThink thanks so much for the info.
Sounds like providing she’s just buying clothes, there won’t be an issue then.

OP posts:
lljkk · 15/10/2021 18:03

She's not lying to YOU, OP.
Pick your battles.

Oblomov21 · 15/10/2021 18:05

Totally non issue. Pick your battles.

PanicBuyingSprouts · 16/10/2021 10:01

I've just realised that my DD must be doing the same as she sometimes buys clothes or toiletries online.

Can't say that I'm overly worked up about it. She's buying the odd thing online with money she has saved, she hasn't got a card that will allow her to go into debt and if it's something she needs and can't afford, I get it for her.

Viviennemary · 16/10/2021 10:08

I think the problems would arise if her account was hacked or somebody used her card fraudulently. Because transactions would be looked into. And I don't think 14 year olds should bd encouraged to think that there's nothing wrong with telling lies on forms. There is. Why not ask k the bank for the implications of doing this. Then at least you would know if there would be consequences.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 16/10/2021 10:25

@PanicBuyingSprouts have to say I wasn’t worried about it until I realised the age restrictions! Just not sure what to do now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkles56 · 16/10/2021 10:26

@Viviennemary I have tried asking the bank but couldn’t get a definite reply. They said it would just depend on the circumstances

OP posts:
MatildaIThink · 16/10/2021 10:30

[quote Sparkles56]@Viviennemary I have tried asking the bank but couldn’t get a definite reply. They said it would just depend on the circumstances[/quote]
The bank cannot give you a definitive reply because your daughter is not breaching their terms and conditions, they issued the card for use and are find with that. The problem is with her breaching the retailer's terms and conditions which is where the issues arise. If you asked the retailer they would close the account, blacklist your daughter and potentially your address.

20viona · 16/10/2021 10:45

She's bought clothes not heroin, pick your battles.

Original poster
Sparkles56 · 16/10/2021 11:10

@peboh it’s in the retailers terms and conditions (some are 16 some are 18) and also some of the pre used clothing sites you have to confirm you’re 18

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkles56 · 16/10/2021 19:16

I’m really not sure what to do about this now! I don’t really want to ban her from online shopping until she’s 18!!! But at the save time don’t want her flung stuff she shouldn’t be. Any thoughts?

OP posts: