I am worried about a 16 year old I know and wondered if I should do something to intervene. Her parents are very controlling to the point that I think it's damaged her mental health, especially as they have been like this throughout her whole childhood.
They are very pushy academically and expect high results from her. She has spent a lot of her childhood doing extra school-work and practising to pass exams. The mum is also overly involved in everything she does, interfering at her school, intervening in friendships and generally creating lots of angst around eating and health, always taking her to the doctor and giving her 'remedies' and vitamins for everything which in my eyes seems unnecessary. The mum seems to have either a personality disorder or anxiety herself. The girl was never allowed to sleepovers or friends houses, or to play out with friends or go to play gyms as a child. She has had very little independence or autonomy in her life. Even at home she was always under constant close supervision. She was prevented from going on school trips and days out with friends- the excuses usually being financial or health related and certainly never allowed to take risks like going on theme-park rides, climbing frames, getting dirty etc. - even swimming and bike riding were limited due to mums perception of how risky it was.
She is now struggling with what appears to be anxiety issues, although the mum says her symptoms are all due to health conditions. I am dubious. She has a boyfriend she met online- he lives locally. He is not allowed to her house or her his, she is not trusted to be left alone at home so has to go everywhere with her parents, she has to do all her studying in the family kitchen because they don't trust her to work independently, They constantly monitor her social media, removing all her devices each night at bedtime. She is never able to go out with friends independently unless they drop her off and pick her up at very specific times and places. She seems to struggle to make friends in general. She is beginning to think about university and it looks like she will have to stay locally and live at home even though this is not what she wants- financial reasons are the excuse, although I think it's more about keeping control. The dad has a good middle-class income and the mum doesn't work- she spends a lot of money on designer clothes but then cries poverty.
I don't know if I should just keep my nose out. I try to offer parenting advice to the mum when she is being a bit unreasonable with her poor dd, but it doesn't really help her. I feel so sorry for her when I look at the life experiences and fun my own dd has compared to hers.
WWYD?