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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

what should I do with the HUUUUUUGE pile of washing

32 replies

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:11

that dd1 dumped on the floor in the bathroom a few days ago?

I asked her to bring it down to the washing machine.

The next day I asked her again.

Last night I said that if it was still in the bathroom I would dump it all in her bedroom.

It's still there.

I know I should dump it in her room, but what if I never see it again? Should I leave it in the bathroom and give her one more chance, or should I just bring it downstairs myself (really don't want to do that, btw)

The thing is, it's not just her washing any more, everyone else has added to the pile and I don't fancy rooting through it to separate hers out, so either it ALL goes in her room, or it ALL stays where it is, or I bring it ALL down myself.

What does everyone reckon?

OP posts:

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 07/12/2007 11:13

dump her stuff in her room

Pennies · 07/12/2007 11:14

I'd say that if you've changed your mind and if she's not taken it into the laundry, sorted it into the right colours and perhaps even put some in the machine herself by bedtime then you'll bypass her bedroom and put it (her stuff) all in the bin. She should have done it when you first asked and now she's got everyone elses to deal with too.

NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 07/12/2007 11:14

I think you should dump just her own washing in her room. If you give her another chance or take it downstairs she will forever treat you like her laundry slave. When she starts to run out of clothes to wear she will have to think a bit harder. How old is she?

FlamingTomato · 07/12/2007 11:15

No, dump it all in her bedroom. This was me 10 years ago. Make her face the consequences of her actions or she never will. It ALL goes in her room, you asked her 3 times to bring it down. Dump it on her bed.

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:15

ooh, pennies, I like that answer.

thanks

OP posts:

FlamingTomato · 07/12/2007 11:16

To my shame, I was still doing this when I was 20, because my mum used to ask me again and again, throw tantrums about it in fact - then do it all herself. She NEVER actually made me do my own.

I could put up with any amount of tantrums for a free laundrey service!

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:17

she's 13, nearly 14.

I'm just worried that if I dump the whole lot on her bed, I may never see dd2's or ds's clothes again

OP posts:

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:18

right, decision made.

It's all going in her room, on her bed. And she has to separate it all out into piles as per pennies post.

OP posts:

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 07/12/2007 11:19

Bedroom - well actually in the bed is better as she can't step over it. She had fair warning.

Lots of left out items get put in my teenagers' beds.

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:21

done.

(god, her room stinks!)

OP posts:

FlamingTomato · 07/12/2007 11:21

yes, absolutely, if not sored out by end of day, favourite clothing items to go to ebay - 1 for every hour of her free time that the clothes remain unsorted. She can live in her school uniform, she may not like it but she can.

I have a BIG thing about consequences, because I lived a life without them, domestically, and struggle to stay afloat now!

CarmenerryChristmas · 07/12/2007 11:22

Oh i would be tempted to send it to the laundrette and deduct the cost from her allowance.

jangly · 07/12/2007 11:25

Tell her that if you bring it down and wash it, you take it the charity shop when its dry.

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 11:38

I like all these ideas, thanks ladies

OP posts:

EmilyDavidson · 07/12/2007 13:43

Honest truth ? I would just bring it downstairs myself and wash it, and iron it .
I'm hoping she'll do mine when she's in her 40's and I am ancient

jangly · 07/12/2007 14:19

Actually, that's what I do EmilyD - just do it. It can't be right though. Not good for them, but easier in the end.

juuule · 07/12/2007 14:42

I do what Emily said. Less hassle.

Blandmum · 07/12/2007 14:46

Dump the stuff in her room, and close the door. And put it out of your mind, and don't let it wind you up.

Repeat the mantra, 'This is not my issue'

It will be her issue when she doesn't have clean clothes.
If you give in to her, you may as well just set up home in the laundy room!

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 07/12/2007 16:05

lol might be less hassle now - but when she's 21 and still doing it......

I don't do my childrens bedrooms at all so if there is anything of theirs lying around I just open the door and chuck it in. They get the message surprisingly quickly.

Blandmum · 07/12/2007 16:07

and if the rooms are messy, shut the door and don't go in.

Decide what is your problem and what is their problem.

So their messy room isn't your problem unless you are selling the house or it becomes an actual health hazard. Shut the door and forget about it. they soon discover the benefits of being able to find things

Original poster

SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 16:40

Didn't exactly go to plan:

She came home from school and went straight upstairs. Then she came down and literally dumped three piles of washing on top of me. I put it on the floor and said that I would do tea when she had moved it. She ignored me - spoke to dd2 and ds and completely ignored me. I said that if she didn't move it, her clothes were going on the fire. She ignored me.

I started putting her clothes on the fire (which was not quite lit, smouldering, so it looked lit iykwim) she sat there and watched me, then she stood up, rescued them from the fire and started whipping me with her clothes, then she pushed me into the kitchen, pushed her little sister over then stormed upstairs. I have hand marks on my arms.

hmm.

Perhaps next time I'll just put it straight in the bin.

OP posts:

Maidamess · 07/12/2007 16:44

Oh Squonka, teenage girls eh? I have one in the making, she's 12, and behaves very much like yours!

Why can they NEVER say 'You're right Mum, I should have sorted my washing out like you said'

I try to choose my battles wisely but it usually ends up in a fight of some kind. Or a battle of wills, which is what yours sounds like.

3littlefrogs · 07/12/2007 16:50

If one of mine did that to me they would be grounded for a week and all privileges withdrawn.

However, I would not recommend making a threat that you really would not carry out.

This is when strong black bin bags come in handy. Anything that belongs to them, including dirty washing is bagged up and put in their room, with no comment or discussion.

Mine have done all their own laundry since they were about 14, they do learn very quickly, and you can never be blamed for not getting things done on time etc etc.

juuule · 07/12/2007 17:02

I wouldn't let mine do much of their own washing as there are 9 of them and only one washing machine. They would throw everything in there and I won't risk the machine getting broken. My problem, I suppose. It didn't stop ds being able to do his own washing once he went to university.

3littlefrogs · 07/12/2007 17:24

I have got boys, but also work F/T and I suppose I was mindful of work-load sharing, but also, teaching them that it isn't just womens' work.

Mind you - if they broke my machine they would be paying for it

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