Just found this in ds 16 room!!

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 14/09/2021 21:35

Is it a grinder? I'm guessing. I don't know.

romdowa · 14/09/2021 21:39

Yeah that's a grinder, so it grinds down the weed buds into finer pieces so it can be sprinkled in a joint

Msfoxy17 · 14/09/2021 21:39

Definitely a weed grinder, I'm afraid. Sorry OP

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 14/09/2021 21:41

I'm so tired of parenting him. I feel like watching him make these choices and then him lying is breaking me.

OP posts:

newdocket · 16/09/2021 13:41

Posting in solidarity, I found one of these recently in my 16YO DS' room. I must say, I never anticipated these teen years being so hard...

RickOShay · 16/09/2021 13:42

Oh op. They are exhausting I know. Can you talk to him? Is he going to school or college atm?
for you

RickOShay · 16/09/2021 13:43

Don’t give up on him and you, you will get through this

doodleygirl · 16/09/2021 13:52

It’s bloody difficult, teen years are very hard. DSS was heavily into weed at that age, DH and his ex were bedside themselves. They cut off his money but he did maintain his part time job which meant he could still buy the stuff, by the time DSS reached 18 he realised he was now the only one among his friends still smoking heavily, he was being left out of invites because he was always stoned.

Forward a few years, he is studying engineering at Uni, I have not seen him stoned for a long time.

Hang on in there, your lovely boy is still there, just buried a bit deep.

Palavah · 16/09/2021 13:54

So you've warned him already? Maybe implement the punishment you warned him about?

I'd definitely be docking his pocket money if he's spending it on weed?

ParkheadParadise · 16/09/2021 13:58

doodleygirl
Hang on in there, your lovely boy is still there, just buried a bit deep.

This 100%

Stovetopespresso · 16/09/2021 14:23

I'm guessing it's affecting him negatively? depending on how much he is taking and other factors, is he also drinking, flunking school etc? it sounds as if you're having a hard time with him generally, and this is just yes another aspect of his behaviour. like pps have said, teens can be awful then come out the other side.
what are your particular worries about him?

alexiavalentine · 16/09/2021 18:20

@Meltinthemiddle

I'm assuming it's to do with weed. I've found stuff in his bag before and Sunday he came back red eyed. What do I do? I've warned him? Threatened to stop his money if I see it again? It's been one thing after another with his, aggression, running away, drinking, teenage pregnancy scares and now this. I'm so done. I quit my job to try and keep him on track and he has calmed down and now this.

i don't want to intrude, but why were you looking in his bag in the first place? my teen would be so annoyed if i looked through her stuff😂

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 16/09/2021 18:47

I looked in his bag because I thought he was high the other day he denied it, red eyes and hungry he swore on his grandads grave he wasn't etc. Then the other day he come home really hungry, eyes not red this time but just hungry and tired. I just looked in his bag as I'm obviously worried about him especially as last time he said he found it or a mate gave it to him so worried a out grooming etc. No one gives you drugs for free. We've had money go missing previously and his behaviour was awful. But he's been settling down, coming home on time and just calmer but now this! I'm just exhausted with constant worry as he's nieve and not academic and also has addictive personality and had anxiety/mental health issues 😥. Im worried where this will lead him. I'm crying can't concentrate on my job which I changed to be at home more a less hours but actually hate! Feel like I've out my life on hold.

OP posts:

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 16/09/2021 19:41

I genuinely don't know what to do if I'm honest. I've stopped any money but he always has some. Gf seems to pay alot for him. I know people are relaxed about weed but I hate drugs and don't want it in my house. It makes me feel sick.

OP posts:

Colette · 16/09/2021 19:48

Sounds similar to ds18, think he’s v young for his age and gullible,moody and a bit lost. Sorry To hear about your ds Only thing I would say is try and just keep Talking to him just punishment at this age doesn’t work very well .

RickOShay · 16/09/2021 20:05

Agree with @Colette. Keep talking. It doesn’t feel like it, but you will get through this. Just keep talking to him, keep him onside.

Obviouslynotallthere · 16/09/2021 20:15

Been through this for 5 years, 13- 17 DS. Absolutely fucking exhausting. However a couple of things to advise if you can.
Stay calm don't lost your shit. I did and it didn't help.
Keep talking and listen- communication is very important. We used to go for drives and listen to his heavy rap or whatever it was and chat a bit. Set your limits and repeat. Absolutely no weed in the house and warn it will be destroyed if found. Hang in there.
Mine now into fitness and health and is working towards a career in the marines. I think the work you did earlier as a parent will bring them back when they mature a bit.
Good luck.

alexiavalentine · 16/09/2021 21:17

@Meltinthemiddle

I looked in his bag because I thought he was high the other day he denied it, red eyes and hungry he swore on his grandads grave he wasn't etc. Then the other day he come home really hungry, eyes not red this time but just hungry and tired. I just looked in his bag as I'm obviously worried about him especially as last time he said he found it or a mate gave it to him so worried a out grooming etc. No one gives you drugs for free. We've had money go missing previously and his behaviour was awful. But he's been settling down, coming home on time and just calmer but now this! I'm just exhausted with constant worry as he's nieve and not academic and also has addictive personality and had anxiety/mental health issues 😥. Im worried where this will lead him. I'm crying can't concentrate on my job which I changed to be at home more a less hours but actually hate! Feel like I've out my life on hold.

i'm so sorry to hear this op, it sounds like you've been trying really hard, hopefully he will come to his senses and not make any stupid decisions, wishing you luck

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 16/09/2021 21:24

Try to concentrate on the person and behaviour rather than the drug. Let him know you love him. want the best for him and need to protect him. Good luck

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 16/09/2021 21:28

www.talktofrank.com/
You might find some useful support here

Hamsteronrollerblades · 16/09/2021 21:28

It’s great that he has been calmer. Keep talking, pointless to do the whole punishment thing. Just keep connecting and make time. It’s not what you want but so common in the age group it is hard for them to see the issue.

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 16/09/2021 22:04

Thank you for the applies and advice it really means alot. I just feel so broken with it all. I've always talked about drugs and the dangers and how one drug leads to another. I'm worried about his mental health and anxiety and the effects it will have long term. I will try and follow your advice and talk more instead of losing it and becoming a emotional wreck 😢.

OP posts:

BlueberrySugar · 16/09/2021 22:11

Yes it's definitely a grinder.

My sister used to smoke a lot of weed. She was absolutely hideous to be around. You walked in egg shells around her. She was just absolutely vile. She didn't steal money but would constantly borrow it. Come pay day she'd be borrowing again. She was around bad people not all to blame of course but she has a very addictive personality.

When we were young me and her would clash a lot. Usually due to her shitty attitude and lack of thought for anyone else.

She then got addicted to OTC pills. She settled down, moved on from those friends and honestly she is the best version of herself. She puts it down to being young and stupid. Which she was. She's a completely different person and hasn't been the way she was for about 10+ years. She was a teenager when she stopped and around 16 like your DS when she started. I feel for you. It's really hard isn't it.

BlueberrySugar · 16/09/2021 22:11

On*

RickOShay · 17/09/2021 14:58

Hope you are ok @Meltinthemiddle. Hang on in there, you will come through this.