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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

At what age do you expect your teens to start to contribute towards the home financially

68 replies

cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 11:45

I have a 17yo DD who has just started college. She is at college 2.5 days per week. She is looking for a part time job to fit around this.

My question is - once she is earning a wage when do you expect a teen to start paying board or contributions towards bills, food etc?

I left school at 16 for an apprenticeship and started paying 30% of everything I earned to my mum but I understand my circumstances aren't typical (single parent family and she was struggling to make ends meet).

Obviously I won't be paying pocket money out any more but does it seem a bit mean to expect a financial contribution so young?

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 11/09/2021 11:47

Yes. She's still at college, so she'll only be earning on a pocket money scale, surely?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/09/2021 11:48

If you don't need the money for food, bills or housing, I would expect them to be finding their own fun and saving for their future.

ElspethFlashman · 11/09/2021 11:49

A part time job at that age would earn a pittance. I wouldn't take a penny of it unless I was in dire straits.

RampantIvy · 11/09/2021 11:49

but does it seem a bit mean to expect a financial contribution so young?

Yes.

I started paying board when I started work full time. I will apply the same to DD if she comes back to live at home while she is working full time.

Original poster
cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 11:50

@GreyhoundG1rl

Yes. She's still at college, so she'll only be earning on a pocket money scale, surely?
The job she is interviewing for is 16 hours per week and decent pay. It means she will be earning around £400 a month. I give her £40 pocket money a month so no definitely not pocket money earnings.
OP posts:
Bratnews · 11/09/2021 11:50

For me it would be in full time employment. Are you talking 6th form college? To me that’s still school and I wouldn’t take money but leave them to buy their own clothes etc - save for university.

lking679 · 11/09/2021 11:51

I think they need to be in full time work before contributing. It’s not an age thing it’s a situation thing. After all university is means tested on parents you’re still expected to be contributing unless they’re in full time work.

Blackkbird · 11/09/2021 11:51

I wouldn't expect it while they're in FT education and just working PT.

I would expect it if they had a FT job.

GreyhoundG1rl · 11/09/2021 11:51

£100 per week is nothing to a teenager basically funding themselves, though. How badly do you need a cut?

Original poster
cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 11:53

@Bratnews

For me it would be in full time employment. Are you talking 6th form college? To me that’s still school and I wouldn’t take money but leave them to buy their own clothes etc - save for university.
No not 6th form college. She is training to be a chef so looking for catering/kitchen type jobs.

We definitely aren't in dire straits. I think I was just looking back at my first job and paying board so young so wondering whether that's typical or not. At the other end of the spectrum DH lived at home until 23 with a high salary from shift work and overtime and never paid a penny to family so I think it's hard for me to imagine a middle ground!

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 11/09/2021 11:54

If it's 100 a week then you can teach them about setting up a standing order into a savings account!

Even if they save 25 quid a week it will really add up and they can have a little holiday at some point.

fuckitbucket16 · 11/09/2021 11:54

My 16yo earns about that and I do not take any for bills and housing costs etc. She’s still at school.

I do ask her to chuck me some fuel money every now and then for driving her to work and picking her up. She has to pay for anything “fun” she wants.

I would only ask her to contribute when she’s not in any sort of education. Livings costs aren’t free once you’re an adult, and I can’t afford to support an adult who’s working but expecting me to still provide all their food and bills.

DayDate · 11/09/2021 11:56

Once they finish education.

I wouldn't take keep off a teenager with a PT job whilst still at school, although she'd be paying for "luxuries" I might otherwise buy, like hair products.

Mine started paying at 16 & 18 when they started working full time.

ElspethFlashman · 11/09/2021 11:56

Basically I would use this opportunity to start them learning about saving and financial prudence.

Nobody taught me, and I was very messy with money until I was about 28. I wish someone had sat down with me and told me about standing orders.

Original poster
cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 11:58

@ElspethFlashman

If it's 100 a week then you can teach them about setting up a standing order into a savings account!

Even if they save 25 quid a week it will really add up and they can have a little holiday at some point.

Yes that's a very good idea! She has SEN and whilst incredibly independent and intelligent she has no idea of the value of money 😂 I'm sure she thinks we have a magic money tree in the garden.

I think it will be really good for her to learn what it takes to actually have cash in your account rather than it just being handed over every month.

Yes I think you are all right, we don't need the contribution but I will expect her to find a lot of things herself once she secures a job!

OP posts:
Original poster
cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 11:59

*fund not find!!

OP posts:
FatAnkles · 11/09/2021 11:59

I used to pay 1/3 ¥f my wages to my parents back in 1994 but I appreciate times have changed.

I would expect "board" when DD is in a full- or part-time job post all education, if she still wants to live with me. How much would be up for discussion.

ElspethFlashman · 11/09/2021 12:00

Yes I have ADHD so it's only because of standing orders that I'm not up to my eyes in debt frankly. If its not done automatically by the bank then it won't happen!

HemanOrSheRa · 11/09/2021 12:01

Our DS16 has just started college and working at Maccy D's. Once he gets into the swing of it and getting his wages regularly (they get paid fortnightly) we will expect him to pay his phone bill. He's recently joined a gym too and will pay his monthly membership fee. When he's learned to drive we will talk with him about paying for insurance/contribution to fuel until he gets his own car.

We won't be asking him to contribute to the household as such until he is in full time employment. He's earning so he can afford to do the things teens like to do and we don't have to fund that!

JamesWilbysAbs · 11/09/2021 12:02

Do you still pay for her phone? Netflix?? that kind of thing? I would expect her to fund those herself from now on, as well as going out and non-essential clothes. But I wouldn't ask for money towards rent or food or household bills

GreyhoundG1rl · 11/09/2021 12:03

Livings costs aren’t free once you’re an adult, and I can’t afford to support an adult who’s working but expecting me to still provide all their food and bills.
I don't necessarily disagree with your post, but I don't understand this?
If you're supporting them now how would the costs change?

ChilliChaos · 11/09/2021 12:04

Once I stopped receiving child benefit I started charging board. So ds at 16 has to pay £20 a week (he works full time earning almost as much as me!) but dd at 17 doesn’t pay any yet as I see the child benefit as her contribution.

Original poster
cricketmum84 · 11/09/2021 12:08

@ChilliChaos

Once I stopped receiving child benefit I started charging board. So ds at 16 has to pay £20 a week (he works full time earning almost as much as me!) but dd at 17 doesn’t pay any yet as I see the child benefit as her contribution.
Ah yes that's a good point actually. I hadn't thought about that.
OP posts:
IceLace100 · 11/09/2021 12:11

If You need her to contribute then ask for a small contribution.

If you don't need it, don't take anything.

You should speak to her about saving and investing though. Defo helps to get into good habit early and it's something I really wish my parents had helped me with!!!

Reflections2021 · 11/09/2021 12:16

When leaving education, will ask for contribution more for the principle of instilling appropriate mindset towards earnings and financial responsibilities. Don’t need the money as such so plan to put it into a savings pot unknown to them and when they hopefully buy somewhere, or are taking on a appropriate financial commitment, where every bit counts and will be appreciated - I will gift it back to them, again to teach no matter how small putting something away means it’s there for later when they need it most.