At what age do you expect your teens to start to contribute towards the home financially

[cricketmum84]

I have a 17yo DD who has just started college. She is at college 2.5 days per week. She is looking for a part time job to fit around this.

My question is - once she is earning a wage when do you expect a teen to start paying board or contributions towards bills, food etc?

I left school at 16 for an apprenticeship and started paying 30% of everything I earned to my mum but I understand my circumstances aren't typical (single parent family and she was struggling to make ends meet).

Obviously I won't be paying pocket money out any more but does it seem a bit mean to expect a financial contribution so young?

If I was in your circumstances I wouldn't expect board. Compulsory saving, with some support to help her learn to budget seems like a better option.

Part time at college is to cover their spends I wouldn’t take any money until they are earning full time wages.

@Reflections2021

When leaving education, will ask for contribution more for the principle of instilling appropriate mindset towards earnings and financial responsibilities. Don’t need the money as such so plan to put it into a savings pot unknown to them and when they hopefully buy somewhere, or are taking on a appropriate financial commitment, where every bit counts and will be appreciated - I will gift it back to them, again to teach no matter how small putting something away means it’s there for later when they need it most.

Oh I like this idea 🥰

My parents were big on teaching me to pay my way but I didn't start paying board until I was working full time. I had a part time job in a call centre when I was at college and earned a decent wage at the time (approx £400 per month) but didn't start contributing to bills until I was 18 and working full time.

When they leave full time education. I would count more than 2 days in college as full time as they will have studying or work experience to do as well.

I would give them minimal pocket money and cover basic clothes, toiletries etc.

If they were on the basic apprenticeship Of £3 per hour I wouldn't expect a contribution but expect them to find themselves.

If earning a decent amount then contribution in relation to their earnings.

For those households where they lose benefits when their DC leave education I recognise that their DC will probably have to contribute just to keep the household ticking over financially.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Livings costs aren’t free once you’re an adult, and I can’t afford to support an adult who’s working but expecting me to still provide all their food and bills. I don't necessarily disagree with your post, but I don't understand this? If you're supporting them now how would the costs change?

They don’t change per se I guess, but I live pay day to pay day. It is my responsibility to provide while they’re still kids and in education, so I go without many things to do so.

When they’re adults and working and not in school, why should I go without so they can live for free?

In education, no. After, definitely.

My grandma took 25% ish of my dads wages as keep, from the day he left school. Different times but most people did contribute right away in those time. When he finally moved out, she proudly handed back every penny as a nice deposit for his first home. I'd like to do that for mine when the time comes.

3 dcs have never been asked for digs/housekeeping. However, they are expected to pay for own phones, toiletries, clothes, travel and going out. I'm only paying for food so not a big deal to me.

When they’re adults and working and not in school, why should I go without so they can live for free?
Of course you shouldn't. I just didn't get the "I can't afford to" when the costs hadn't changed, that's all.

@GreyhoundG1rl

When they’re adults and working and not in school, why should I go without so they can live for free? Of course you shouldn't. I just didn't get the "I can't afford to" when the costs hadn't changed, that's all.

I guess in regards to things most people who don’t need to think about take for granted - haircuts, the odd meal out, deciding which bill to pay in time and deciding which to let go another week, a longer shower, many things that not having to support someone else would free up money for me to be able to “afford”.

I can’t afford a lot of things now because I make sure the kids don’t go without. When I no longer have to and they are working and contributing then yes costs do change and I should be able to look forward to having these things and I can’t “afford” to keep supporting adults and going without.

I don’t think I’ve had enough coffee to articulate what I’m trying to say.

I guess it would be like me telling my parents that I was going to move in with them and live for free and contribute nothing, and them saying “no we can’t afford it” and me saying “but you could afford it when I was a kid/teen, why not now?”

I imagine they’re enjoying not having to stress about bills and food and whatever because they don’t have to financially support me.

I’ll put the coffee on.

my son is 17 and has a Saturday job, he earns about £125 a month.

He pays for BTSport, I already pay for SkySports. When his phone contract expired I said I would pay the same, if he wanted an upgrade he could pay the difference.
When we went on holiday in the summer he paid for dinner one night, ie fish n chips on the beach.
I'm not expecting him to work more until next year, then I will start adding things on, like his train pass and one off costs.

Nothing until working full time

No. This is just pocket money.

Not until they are in a full time job, apprenticeship, paying a good monthly wage.

@GreyhoundG1rl

costs may stay the same, but income not necessarily.

My son has just moved from DLA to PIP, our household income is down £350 a month already. He may lose another discretionary benefit when he is 18, if not then, it will go when he is 21. This will seriously impact the household income, we won't exactly be on breadline but if he wants anything approaching the standard of living he has now, he will have to contribute.

I won't be charging my kids the whole time they are in education.

When they have left education and are working full-time and all the gap years have finished providing money isn't an issue.

By that point I don't expect ours to come home...........

unless you're struggling to put bread on the table, you shouldn't take money from your child, especially if its a part-time, after-school job.
All those who are on about "teaching a life lesson" - just being grabby.

That said, i'd expect the teen to pai their for their own stuff like gadgets, subscription and transport.

I think people have such different ideas on this question and there really is no ‘one size fits all’. I have colleagues and friends who charge between £200 and £300 per month if their adult children are in full time work - some are well off, some are not - some charge their college age kids around £50 per month from their part time wage. I am a single parent on a low income and have never received maintenance - I can cover all costs myself and encourage my kids to save, buy some food if they want fancy stuff (2 are vegan and like expensive processed crap!) I don’t charge rent because I can’t help them in other ways - DD19 is leaving for Uni next week - she worked full time this last year on a good salary - she is reading Law and will have to do massive amounts of studying - she has managed to save 12k - I cannot offer her any money to fall back on so I didn’t charge her anything - her boyfriend’s parents are asset rich but cash poor - the oldest boy is at Uni, lives at home, works part time but pays nothing (because he is still studying), the younger boy works full time and pays £250 per month to his parents. It’s whatever works for your family’s particular situation and set of values I guess.

Sorry, fuckitbucket, I didn't think of it in the context of someone who is already going without themselves to afford it.
Apologies, that was graceless of me.

Only when in full-time employment and even then only if they're not saving towards a house. Luckily we are in a position where we don't need the kids to contribute financially.

At 18 parents lose some benefits they get for their DC so understandably they need to ask for a contribution if the DC starts earning a wage and still lives at home.

I didn't pay anything from my Saturday jobs, but when I had "full-time" work in the uni holidays I paid a small amount eg when I was earning about £120 a week in one job I paid about £20 board to some family friends I was staying with, and in another job I paid my mum £30.

I wouldn't expect anything at 17 but if ds got a well paid summer job while at uni I would ask for a small contribution towards board.

Not while they are in education, whether that's A levels, uni, post grad. Once they start earning g I would ask for small contribution.

If I had an adult child at home working full time (so not just a summer job) I would expect them to contribute to the bills in proportion to their earnings. So eg if DH and I earned £3k a month and DS earned £1K a month, I would expect ds to contribute 25% of what we needed for joint bills. We don't have a mortgage so it would just be bills, food and perhaps council tax though we'd have to pay that whether he was there or not.