DDs first job is turning into a mess

[PerspicaciaTick]

DD has been offered her first ever job. She is thrilled as she's been applying for some time, but it is starting to feel like a huge mess which will impact every member of the family and not in a good way.
She will working 8 hours a week, spread over 3 evenings and Saturday morning. As a 17yo she will be earning a little over £40 a week.
She is studying for 3 A-levels plus a GCSE next summer.
The job means that she will have to change her transport arrangements to school and will no longer be able to travel with her friends at all.
It also means that 3 evenings a week, I will need to finish work on the dot to get her from the station to her job as there is not enough time for her to walk ... No wiggle room and no allowance made for when I need to work in other districts.
She won't be able to eat with the family and so we will start having to run 2 meal times.
No more socialising after school with friends
No after school activities.
I suspect that it will affect her school work as tight travel times on public transport are going to be hugely stressful.
My petrol costs are going to be considerable plus I have just changed my hours to work full time and was looking forward to a change of priorities where 17yo DD was responsible for getting herself to and from school.
Now all I can see is all the additional pressure and sacrifice for us both...for very little money.
Should I advise her that I don't think this is the right job for her right now, or would that be selfish. I'd happily give her the money Is be saving on petrol while she looks for a job that is a better fit.
I feel like I'm being really shitty. I've spent 6 months helping her apply for jobs and now she has one I don't think it is feasible. I wish businesses were more up front about what they want instead of pushing candidates through multiple interviews before changing the location and the shift pattern at the last minute.

I had this with DS1.
He went to school on a dedicated bus, no public transport here. Got a job 5 hours a week on two evenings starting at 5pm. Bus didn't get him home in time so I had to pick him up (an hour round trip). Then drive him 5 miles to next village to work, then pick up later.

I hoped the working experience would make it worthwhile but frankly it didn't and he got another job.
I paid for driving lessons asap and he borrowed my car to get to work.

I’d say either she goes back to them & says ‘this wasn’t my understanding of the timing & it’s not workable for me- what can we do?’ Or she drops it. Isn’t that what an adult would do? I’d be peed off if I jumped through interview hoops etc, was offered a job then they said the times were different. I think employers of part time young people take the piss- if she is committed & serious and the right match for the job they should have treated her with the same respect she treated their application process. If they’ve changed the shifts etc last minute she’s well within her rights to say no Thankyou or ask to adjust to suit her. I’d do the same & don’t see why it should be any different just because she’s young/it’s her first job. Will teach her also that employers shouldn’t mess you around! Xo

@BeenAroundTheWorldAndIII

I think your just putting barriers up here. I think having a first job is a real opportunity for learning some valuable skills unique to a working environment. I had a job at school working in a nursing home doing laundry. I got myself there and back on the bus. It may have impacted my social life with school friends but I still have a few friends I made in that work place, along with a lot of fond memories. The work was shite (literally), and the pay appalling but it gave me a real sense of achievement earning my own money and in the school holidays I took up extra shifts and moved about the place as I got older (cleaning, kitchen, care work). I know from my families/friends older kids they have very little work ethic, bank of mum and dad and think parents are a taxi service. Let her take the job if she wants it, put her tea aside to reheat, help her make plans to get herself there and back if it's a hassle for you. If she hates it, tell her to stick it out whilst she works her notice as you never know who knows who, when your gonna need an opportunity again and you don't want it to reflect on a reference. I'd be made up she's making an effort to be independent.

Could it be that parents who support their kids working by default have instilled in them values that make them a good employee? And that your friends’ kids who have bad work ethic are being enabled by their parents? Kids should be responsible but an official ‘job’ isn’t the only answer. Kids who do chores etc aren’t suddenly going to become irresponsible. Same for kids who are committed to a hobby which shows dedication. Surely as a parent you know what kind of child you’re raising. If your child is a layabout then a job may be just the push they need. But if they’re generally responsible there’s no need to insist on a job unless finances.

I wouldn't want my child working 3 nights a week plus weekends when studying for A levels. A levels are really hard and require a LOT of work. It's good for young people to have a work ethic but not at the expense of their education which has to be the main priority. She will also need downtime and time for exercise so she balances the work involved with A levels and keeps herself healthy and sane!

Also personally I would make it a requirement that if she wants a job she gets herself there and back. Her job shouldn't make your life more difficult. If it's going to do that you might as well just give her the money!

CorianderBee, lol, 2 of my teens work cash in hand.

@lljkk

CorianderBee, lol, 2 of my teens work cash in hand.

So did me and my sister and brother lol. Enabled me to work 4 jobs between age 14 and 18. Sometimes me and my sister went and did the other ones job when they couldn't be bothered and we fancied cash.

Her job at the moment should be to focus on her studies. I agree with pp who suggested you give her an allowance for helping at home/she takes on occasional eg babysitting jobs that won't impact on her week so much.

I think it's a total waste of her time and probably bad for her mental health to swap time with friends before/ after school for a job sitting at a computer at home.

A teens job should be in a shop/ cafe/ bar etc so they can learn social and life skills. She sits down all day at school - she will be bored stiff doing work on a computer - then that is more screen time and she will have to add A level revision on.

A levels are full on - if you can afford it I would tell her that job can wait.

40 quid a week she could earn most of that babysitting - I pay between 8 and 12 an hour depending on experience/ age. I also know lots and lots of mums who need help before/ after school.