Disappointed with DS A level choices

[Bagamoyo1]

I know I’m being unreasonable, and I know this is a first world problem, but I can’t help it. I wanted to post to see if others can share experiences and stop me feeling so down about it.

DS has just started year 12. Since year 7 he’s been good at French and really enjoyed it. From the start he knew he wanted to do French A level. He’s just started his courses (day 8 today) - French, history and geography.

He’s moved schools for 6th form (his original high school don’t have a 6th form), and he’s just announced that he’s hating French, and wants to give it up. He says it’s harder than GCSE, and he’s just not enjoying it, and can’t face 2 years of it. He wants to switch to sociology.

I can’t help thinking he wants to change because lots of his friends are doing sociology, and it’s basically way easier than French.

I’m worried he’ll regret it. Rightly or wrongly, sociology is seen by many as an easy (and therefore less valuable) option, and I honestly think that once he’s settled in his new school, he’ll find the French more manageable. But obviously he doesn’t have that luxury - if he’s going to switch he has to do it asap.

I haven’t let on how I feel. I’ve just said he needs to think carefully, talk to the teachers, and do whatever he feels most comfortable with.

But how can I stop myself feeling so disappointed? He got a distinction in French some GCSE work, and was a shining star for the whole course. He’s been naturally gifted at it since day 1.

I just need to find a way to feel positive about all this.

I don't think he's missing out on much with a language A level. I only got as far as a GCSE (Italian) but at that level, despite doing well in exams, my actual grasp of the language was appalling and could have barely helped me through a holiday. I decided to move to France in my early 20s and within about 6 weeks I knew more French than I ever knew of Italian, despite 7 years of it at school. The lessons in school are incredibly slow. If he does enjoy French, he can pick it up later and actually enjoy it rather than forcing himself through lessons.

I hope it works out well for him either way, guiding their own decisions is so hard isn't it. With dd2 we have worked out that she often makes a decision too quickly before she's really engaged with the problem, so we are determined to go more slowly with decisions going forward so she doesn't keep oscillating. I appreciate your ds has a bit of a time pressure though.

Another person here who found the leap huge. 15 years ago I got A* in GCSE German (nearly full marks across the exams) and then really struggled with the jump at AS/A level. My parents wanted me to do it for the same reason you want your son to have a language at A level. I got a C at AS, resat the exam twice and ended up with a B at A level but only after a lot of additional tutoring. I'd say unless your son wants to use French in his future career maybe listen to him let him lead the way on this.

I would allow him to do what he wants, I wouldn't push him into doing something he dislikes. I would however let him know that he may regret his decision later. I started studying French at A level and he is right, it's a huge jump from GCSE and very grammar based. It's dull at AS. I didn't see it through either.

Op a couple more thoughts from me:

Those who talk about French A level being xyz when they did it - remember the spec has changed so unless you did it in 2018 or since then, it won't be the same. I did French A level (obvs) and it was nothing like the exam dd sat in 2019.

It has been a lot easier (kind of) to get a high grade in German than French in recent years. Dd got a C in french; the same mark (exams are identical) for German would have been a B. Check the grade boundaries (this is AQA btw, don't know about other boards).

Just spoke to dd about this and she said only do french if you love it. She did eng lit and geography and spent more time on french than the other two together, not bc she is poor at MFL, just there was so much work. Also she did it with one other student, a good friend, which really helped with speaking and working together on questions, plus a good atmosphere in class, also they were both comfortable with the teacher. Both those made a big difference to her experience, so your ds's class sounds not great.

She also said sociology (which lots of her friends took) would really complement geography especially, so that's worth bearing in mind.

Well the teen curve-balls keep coming! After talking to his teacher today, DS says he wants to continue French. The teacher admitted she'd been going too fast, bearing in mind how much of the GCSE course had been missed due to Covid.

I know things may well change again tomorrow though!

I wish people would stop telling me to let my DS do what he wants. That's all I've ever done. And stories of people being forced to do subjects they didn't want, by pushy parents, is a million miles from my parenting. I only posted to share my disappointment, in the hope that others might share their experiences. I don't think it's wrong to be disappointed that something your child enjoyed so much in the past, has now become a negative thing. I would never convey that disappointment to DS though. And I certainly wouldn't push him to continue.

Oh that's a brilliant outcome. Really hope it carries on.

Does he know what he wants to study at university? Assuming he wants to go.
I was turned down by my favourite university because I didn't have a language A-level (medieval history) and when I went to study modern history instead I actually wished I had a language as it opens up so many more sources to you.

@Keladrythesaviour

Does he know what he wants to study at university? Assuming he wants to go. I was turned down by my favourite university because I didn't have a language A-level (medieval history) and when I went to study modern history instead I actually wished I had a language as it opens up so many more sources to you.

that's interesting. I wonder if it can still be true tho, given the smaller and smaller numbers taking MFL at a level. I would genuinely be surprised if lack of MFL A level closed any door apart from actual MFL at uni. That's not to say it's not worth taking of course, it very much is.

when I went to study modern history instead I actually wished I had a language as it opens up so many more sources to you.

It would take a bit more than A level French to enable you to proficiently read French historical sources.

Aww don't be going feeling 'disappointed' in your son. That's such a negative feeling. Did your parents feel disappointed in you?

My kids are adults and I've had many a time where I would have done things differently to how they have chosen to do things but I give my head a wobble and remind myself that my job is to love and support them not to feel 'disappointed'
I very purposely tried to make sure my relationship with my kids progressed from mother and child to mother and ADULT-child when they were older teens.

UCL requires a GCSE in a MFL or else you have to take a language course while you are there.
I very much approve of this. I am in near-despair at how languages are dismissed and denigrated in the UK.
Lovely outcome with your son and his teacher, OP, and hopefully the class will settle down into a more congenial atmosphere.

It sounds like he’s giving a lot of weight to social considerations. That’s understandable given his age but not a good plan!

A v small class is a great opportunity to get good teaching and feedback (unless people drop out and the school or college cuts the course, of course). If the people are just don’t ‘click’ or are quiet/dull/low level unfriendly, that’s only for X hours of the week.