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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS won't wash his face and it's covered in spots

90 replies

NCTDN · 04/09/2021 22:45

What do I do? Aside from pinning him down, how can I convince him to clean it? He says he's not bothered but I am. He really dislikes and face wash (loans about it going in his eyes) so any other suggestions welcomed.
He's 14 and doesn't yet care about his appearance. I'm hoping that when back at school he'll become more aware and do something about it.

OP posts:
Hydrate · 05/09/2021 08:55

I use Aveeno fragrance free shower gel for itchy skin on my face and eyes, and it doesn't irritate them.

amymel2016 · 05/09/2021 08:59

Look up Sam Farmer, his products were specifically designed for teenagers. Well priced and work really well.

Otherwise, if your son isn’t bothered I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. If it does start to bother him you want him to be able to talk to you about it, if it never bothers him then great. A small amount may be due to not cleansing but in the main it’ll be down to hormones.

Original poster
NCTDN · 05/09/2021 09:05

@Hoppinggreen that's my DS. It's laziness that's making the blackheads.
I've never stated it's acne, just lots of spots. I'm going on a clearasil wipe hunt today!

OP posts:
user1481050140 · 05/09/2021 09:13

This has hit a nerve with me.. Spots are not from ‘poor hygiene’. I’ve had spots al my life, late 30’s now and still get them! I’ve used everything and anything (worst of all was the harsh and nasty clearasil pads by the way as they just strip top layer of skin and cause redness and irritation)
If he is showering ever day and washing his hair that’s good enough.

Please don’t make him feel bad and conscious of them.. He really can’t control the hormones..!

A very good treatment moisturiser i’ve used this last year that i’m sure would help him
is this one ;

La Roche-Posay Effaclar Duo+ Blemish treatment

AnxiousWeirdo · 05/09/2021 09:14

Spots are a hormonal issue, in fact you're told not to wash your face that much I'd you have acne, at some point he'll be bothered by it so then take him to the gp and get some medication or take him to get professionally squeezed otherwise just leave the boy alone really.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 05/09/2021 09:15

DS is 13 and is a bit pimply and gets blackheads. I wouldn't describe him as having acne though. He finds that the nip and fab breakout rescue pads really make a difference when he remembers to use them. They're part of their specific teen range.

keepmoving · 05/09/2021 09:16

Sometimes it's hormonal and sometimes it's just dirt and sweat blocking pores and causing spots. Bought this for DS13 told him it was formulated for teens like him and he uses it... not sure if we've just worn him down.

www.samfarmer.co/shop/samfarmer-travel-pack

The website is down until 8th Sept but can be bought at Ocado. I bought direct through their website and arrived in a couple of days. It's no nonsense.

5zeds · 05/09/2021 09:17

Weird to think showering and washing hair will help but also that it’s not related in any way to hygiene.Confused. I think showering and hair washing DO impact how your skin copes and that pillow slips and things that touch your face/neck also need to be kept as clean as possible.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 05/09/2021 09:18

@negomi90

I don't wash my face anything other than water. Spots are a hormone thing, not a hygiene thing. Soap risks irritating things more. If he's not bothered, leave him alone, you don't want to make him self conscious.
This completely, I only use water on my face and my skin is great (good genes). If I ever had spots it was a result of using soap or face wash.
OnTheBenchOfDoom · 05/09/2021 09:21

CeraVe available in Boots. They do a foaming face wash and a cream face wash. I have used both, as have my teen sons. Highly recommended by Nadine Baggott who I trust on skin care.

I can definitely open my eyes using either one so no stinging. CeraVe is in the shower in the boys' bathroom so they use it as part of their daily shower rather than something they do separately in front of the sink.

cameocat · 05/09/2021 09:23

My DD age the same had terrible spots at the beginning of the summer (not due to wearing makeup). I roped in her older cousin who was staying for the weekend to wash their faces together and show her how to do it. Much better than listening to mum nag.

Spots are now much better. Not gone but certainly not as prolific so I wouldn't say washing will always make no difference.

beautifullymad · 05/09/2021 09:26

You don't need to do anything at all. He's at that pivotal age where he's just about to become aware of the opposite sex.

I'm about 6-12 months he'll go from spotty teenager who doesn't wash. To two showers a day, hair jell and nagging you to buy every spot treatment and tooth whitening known to man.

It will cost you a small fortune! Get saving up now before it hits.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/09/2021 09:27

tbh the spots itself are hormonal but the washes reduce inflammation and reduce the risk of skin infection

Absolutely! Warm water and facecloths made the most difference to my ds's skin.

DrFoxtrot · 05/09/2021 09:27

Washing more does help my DCs spots even though there is a hormonal basis. I'm not sure what the answer is OP apart from gentle reminders.

Cannes12 · 05/09/2021 09:29

It's his face! Leave him alone.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/09/2021 09:33

I disagree with the sentiment of it being his face so leave him alone. Washing is basic hygiene and that goes for faces,armpits or other bits!

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 09:39

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I disagree with the sentiment of it being his face so leave him alone. Washing is basic hygiene and that goes for faces,armpits or other bits!
Then OP can just get some plain facewash and say your face looks like it needs a wash. No need to make it all about the spots and buy special fancy facewash if he isn't bothered by the spots.
LetterOfTheLawFella · 05/09/2021 09:41

He says he's not bothered but I am
He's 14 and doesn't yet care about his appearance
Not remotely interested in girls yet- hoping that when he is this will change

Do you think you might be a bit over invested in this? Why is it bothering you so much?

Seasonschange · 05/09/2021 09:42

Is he still washing his face with water when he showers? If so I don’t see how he’s unhygienic? I never use soap on my face and I only ever got the odd spot around my face as a teenager.

Lazyonthesofa · 05/09/2021 09:51

My daughter tried an assortment of washes and none made any difference and I would say some made things worse.
The two things that helped were giving up chocolate (she gave up her considerable chocolate habit for Lent) and changing her pillowcase every day. Her best friend also gave up chocolate and it made no difference to her spots so it's not a cure all, but definitely helped DD very noticeably.
My own spots were eventually cured by the menopause!

LowlyTheWorm · 05/09/2021 09:55

@ittakes2

I have a teen the same - for my birthday when he asked what I wanted as a present I said for him to have a facial and he was not happy but obliged! Beautician suggested some things which have helped. I have decided I am going to have face clothes in my kitchen and every so often warm them with water and wipe over his face. Also important don't touch hair and then face.
Such a shit message to your teen about consent. HIS face not yours. You have absolutely no right to wash it any more than you would to touch any other part of his body without consent. Leave the poor boy alone you control freak.
pianolessons1 · 05/09/2021 09:56

Well you are wrong. Acne is not caused by poor hygiene and I would never tell a patient that.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/09/2021 10:00

Then OP can just get some plain facewash and say your face looks like it needs a wash. No need to make it all about the spots and buy special fancy facewash if he isn't bothered by the spots I agree

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 05/09/2021 10:01

Surely his face gets wet in the shower? There’s a huge market for products that will help but IME there’s little you can do other than wait it out. Most products will dry the skin as a side effect and then he’ll also need moisturiser… and then it’s a cycle of wash rinse repeat.
The only product that really seems to “work” is (ro)accurate but you’ll have to push hard and have a long wait to see an NHS dermatologist first. And it has a lot of side effects that your son might not tolerate (yet).

Nosferatussidebit · 05/09/2021 10:15

The spots are hormonal. Washing will make no difference and too much washing can make them worse by making the already overactive sebaceous glands even more overactive.