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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS won't wash his face and it's covered in spots

90 replies

NCTDN · 04/09/2021 22:45

What do I do? Aside from pinning him down, how can I convince him to clean it? He says he's not bothered but I am. He really dislikes and face wash (loans about it going in his eyes) so any other suggestions welcomed.
He's 14 and doesn't yet care about his appearance. I'm hoping that when back at school he'll become more aware and do something about it.

OP posts:
Ugzbugz · 04/09/2021 23:59

So if you only use water on your face do you only use water on your body?

I would use face wash, toner, light moisturiser if needed and exfoliate once a week and drink plenty if water.

I know after walking around all day, pollution etc, water would not clean my face and my neck needs regular exfoliating as its so rough.

Haggisfish3 · 05/09/2021 00:03

I use shower gel on arm pits and groin but just rubaround the rest tbh. And that’s only two to three times a week.

NekoShiro · 05/09/2021 00:52

You can't force him too, no matter what you buy him it will go unused.

Ozanj · 05/09/2021 00:56

People with oily skin will definitely get spots by not cleaning well enough. Sister used to get horrible blackheads - when she started washing her face and drinking water they eventually all went away.

SweetToothsAntlers · 05/09/2021 00:58

If he’s averse to products get him to wipe with A clean flannel and warm water twice a day when he brushes his teeth. Get a stack of them and keep them readily available, laundry after one use. If his skin improves, you’ll know it’s a hygiene thing (or at least exacerbated by poor hygiene). Once he’s into the routine of it, he might be open to trying some foaming cleanser or even oil cleansing, but if he doesn’t like the chemicals on his face/around his eyes he’s not going to start with something uncomfortable. I’m amazed how many replies have jumped straight to prescriptions. There are some significant side effects to all of them. They’ve got their place, but not before washing his face is been tried!!

MilduraS · 05/09/2021 01:04

I wash my face morning and evening. Still get spots in my 30s because of my hormones. Blackheads definitely can be improved by regularly washing and using salicylic acid though. I'd avoid the old school choices like clearasil or clean and clear. They tend to be pretty harsh and made my skin more oily.

5zeds · 05/09/2021 01:12

Get him to wash his hair in the bath. Line dry towels so they are rougher when drying. Change pillow slips and clean coats/blazers regularly

Nogardenersworld · 05/09/2021 01:13

God my mum used to berate me to wash my face better, use rough exfoliators and loads of the things people are suggesting
I washed my face, but it was hormones
And then poor skin care routines and old fashioned views on skincare that made it worse

Do not exfoliate unless it’s with an acid
Do not use foamy washes
If things are going in his eyes would he consider a cleanser than he just wipes across his face? As in a milk or gel cleanser that doesn’t foam, one that doesn’t need rinsing

Consider taking him to the gp

But also, most importantly, if he’s not bothered about his spots why are you? Good for him not being obsessed with his appearance

Wallywobbles · 05/09/2021 08:04

Flannel and hot clean water feels nice to most I think. It's all I do. Change flannel daily.

If he can bear that then I'd suggest trying something you rub in and wipe off with hot water and flannel. My skin was never better with potions.

Original poster
NCTDN · 05/09/2021 08:13

Wow I never expected so many replies!
So he does have flannels and uses them when reminded. He showers quite happily so it's definitely to do with getting things in his eyes.
I know he's not bothered, but I fear that his skin will scar where he picks at them. His pillowcase is changed regularly.
I've been looking for a cleanser which can be wiped off with cotton wool, but haven't managed to find one in a men's or teen boy's range.

OP posts:
toolazytothinkofausername · 05/09/2021 08:13

I'm 33 and stopped washing my face during the summer holidays. I still can't be bothered to start again even though I have spots all over.

MissyB1 · 05/09/2021 08:14

@Nogardenersworld
Why do you say don’t use foaming face wash? Ds is using the Cerave one, should he be using something else?

LegendaryReady · 05/09/2021 08:15

If he's not bothered about his spots why would you tell him he should be?

If he's happy in his own skin that's a good thing. Don't destroy it.

purplesequins · 05/09/2021 08:17

my ds applies a face fash before going in thd shower so it rinses off there.
maybe he will entertain this idea?

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 08:17

He says he's not bothered but I am. it's his face. If he isn't bothered by his acne that is a great thing and you need to stop it incase you damage his confidence. It's hard enough being a teen without your own parent judging your appearance.

purplesequins · 05/09/2021 08:18

tbh the spots itself are hormonal but the washes reduce inflammation and reduce the risk of skin infection.

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 08:24

Just buy something gentle like cetaphil that can be used as body and face wash and then he might use it on his face. But I'd stop going on about his acne.

Peanutsandchilli · 05/09/2021 08:33

I only ever wash my face in the shower every couple of days, and even then I only use water. It's not necessary. Spots are hormonal and no amount of washing will get rid, in fact it'll probably irritate them. Leave him be.

Nogardenersworld · 05/09/2021 08:45

[quote MissyB1]@Nogardenersworld
Why do you say don’t use foaming face wash? Ds is using the Cerave one, should he be using something else?[/quote]
It’s a general point
The cereve ones are considered ok due to lack of certain ingredients and the addition of others

Typically foaming knocks off the skins ph balance which can cause it to overproduce more oils or generally be harmful
If something works for your skin though do what you like of course!
But in general, most foaming face washes should be avoided

AperolWhore · 05/09/2021 08:47

@NCTDN I was just going to suggest the clearasil ultra wipes, they are brilliant for teenage acne x

Fizbosshoes · 05/09/2021 08:51

My DD(15) is meticulous about her skincare routine and uses all manner of products including cerave but she still regularly gets spots.
DS needs to be coaxed to have a shower even when hes done a lot of sport. (Hes 11)

SortCode · 05/09/2021 08:51

I got DS a pot of Clearasil pads for spots 5 in 1 Cost about £5. He uses them every morning and his skin really improved. Je now just uses them as part of his morning routine.

To get him to use them and not forget Id put his toorhbrush on top of them or put them un the sink so he would see a d use them

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2021 08:52

I know what you mean OP.
DD has acne and has used everything going but DS mostly has blocked pore type spots due to not washing much. I encourage him to wash but he’s lazy and doesn’t care, the face wipes are the only thing he really uses apart from when he showers

HelloDulling · 05/09/2021 08:54

@NCTDN

Wow I never expected so many replies! So he does have flannels and uses them when reminded. He showers quite happily so it's definitely to do with getting things in his eyes. I know he's not bothered, but I fear that his skin will scar where he picks at them. His pillowcase is changed regularly. I've been looking for a cleanser which can be wiped off with cotton wool, but haven't managed to find one in a men's or teen boy's range.
Look at Ceravie. Not for men/boys, just a general very plain packaging. They do a cream cleanser. Don’t bother with cotton wool, just apply to dry face and use a flannel with hot water to remove. Clean flannel every time. Takes seconds before his shower.
DragonMamma · 05/09/2021 08:54

My almost 14 yo DD was a bit like this until we found a face wash that worked for her pretty much straight away (Freederm) and her skin looks so much better now. Whilst they may not always be caused by poor hygiene, the face wash has definitely helped keep them under control