Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teen has come back off holiday with a tattoo

473 replies

GreenTartan · 28/08/2021 15:39

That's it really. He's under 18 and has a fucking tattoo on his wrist.

I'm devastated. I know they're very fashionable but that's not the point. If we'd discussed it I'd have obviously made sure he waited until he was 18. The legal age!! I'd suggested he put it somewhere it couldn't be seen with a shirt on.

As it is he won't be able to do the career he wants with a fucking tattoo on his wrist.

I know MNet will jump down my throat but I'm devastated.

We're booked for consultation to get it laser removed but fuck knows how I'm going to afford it,

His girlfriend has dumped him over it and he really regrets getting it done.

I'm just posting here to moan really, can't stop crying. Stupid stupid little boy.

OP posts:
SimonJT · 30/08/2021 08:06

@Esspee

You are not being unreasonable OP. The arseholes on here trying to tell you it is no big deal obviously have no chance of a high flying career where tattoos, especially the type your son now has, will exclude them. I would be distraught if either of mine did this. I hope it can be removed but make sure he gets a job and pays you back.
Fairly high flying career here.

I have a sleeve that also covers part of my hand, tattoo wedding band, one behind an ear, a small one on my neck and various on my legs and torso.

HeronLanyon · 30/08/2021 08:16

Now seeing more detail of ‘drug related’. I’d be disbarred if this showed in court. ‘Bringing profession into disrepute’ would be the likely ‘code of conduct’ breach cited and upheld. Some of my clients would love it, many wouldn’t notice it in their own drug haze, some would in fact hate it - the more experienced and serious offenders in particular. A judge would report me immediately to my professional conduct committee. No matter what type of work I do or court I’m in. Happen to be in crime and represent a lot of drug related defendants.
I’m sure there are a huge number of jobs where this just doesn’t matter but if he’s interested in law then absolutely forget it until removed or hidden permanently. Anyone thinking otherwise Re law is completely wrong.
Good luck op. Not reversible. Hope if he wants it off that he saves for it.

peachykeenjellybaby · 30/08/2021 08:16

There is no career he cant do. Its 2021 my dear

You are very sad now but you will get over it

BlusteryLake · 30/08/2021 08:17

@Dyrne

Why are posters bending over backwards insisting it definitely won’t affect his career prospects? A drug tattoo certainly would be an instant “no” in the police or armed forces, for example. It’s not Pearl clutching about tattoos in general, it’s specifically that it’s drug related.
Absolutely. I would also be interested to know how many of those with tattoos insisting it hasn't harmed their career had them when they were a fresh graduate trying to secure their first role, as opposed to getting them once they had some proper work experience under their belt.
SoupDragon · 30/08/2021 08:36

Fairly high flying career here.

I have a sleeve that also covers part of my hand, tattoo wedding band, one behind an ear, a small one on my neck and various on my legs and torso.

Are any of them drug related images?

ImInStealthMode · 30/08/2021 08:39

@Dyrne Maybe a few decades ago, but not any more. Plenty in the police and armed forces have tattoos, in fact their policies on it are available via a quick Google.

helentomelon · 30/08/2021 08:46

@HeronLanyon

Now seeing more detail of ‘drug related’. I’d be disbarred if this showed in court. ‘Bringing profession into disrepute’ would be the likely ‘code of conduct’ breach cited and upheld. Some of my clients would love it, many wouldn’t notice it in their own drug haze, some would in fact hate it - the more experienced and serious offenders in particular. A judge would report me immediately to my professional conduct committee. No matter what type of work I do or court I’m in. Happen to be in crime and represent a lot of drug related defendants. I’m sure there are a huge number of jobs where this just doesn’t matter but if he’s interested in law then absolutely forget it until removed or hidden permanently. Anyone thinking otherwise Re law is completely wrong. Good luck op. Not reversible. Hope if he wants it off that he saves for it.
I think everyone's assuming he'll get a cover up now he knows it's drug related so given he's 17 he's got 4 years to sort that out.
HeronLanyon · 30/08/2021 08:49

My comments about being disbarred immediately (in fact a judge would refuse to let me appear in court) are specifically related to op saying it is “a drugs related tattoo”.
If I am clutching any pearls, they are real not paste (or is that diamonds?!)
Anyway for me any visible tattoo would be a potential problem at work, a ‘drug related tattoo’ which this is would bring my career to an immediate end.
Note to self - avoid getting blind drunk anywhere near tattoo place.

Dyrne · 30/08/2021 08:51

@ImInStealthMode yes and funnily enough a “quick google” says that anything related to drugs is still a no-no.

Literally, on the army recruiting website they actually use the term “no-no”. Grin

ididitsocanyou · 30/08/2021 08:52

To be fair the fact I don’t have tattoos is starting to harm my career. In my industry - in which there are many high flying opportunities- the more hipster, inked up and pierced you are the better! I’m just not down with the dope g’s.

user1523010848 · 30/08/2021 09:01

Are you sure that's the only 'thing' he's come back with?

ImInStealthMode · 30/08/2021 09:05

@Dyrne We don't know what the tattoo actually is though. A fat joint or a cannabis leaf I'd have trouble believing he didn't realise was drug related. A smiley face or a chemical symbol maybe less obvious to him, but also less obvious to others.

It's the (clearly upset and perhaps being a little over-dramatic OP) who told us it's drug related and even then only as an afterthought.

Dyrne · 30/08/2021 09:17

[quote ImInStealthMode]@Dyrne We don't know what the tattoo actually is though. A fat joint or a cannabis leaf I'd have trouble believing he didn't realise was drug related. A smiley face or a chemical symbol maybe less obvious to him, but also less obvious to others.

It's the (clearly upset and perhaps being a little over-dramatic OP) who told us it's drug related and even then only as an afterthought. [/quote]
This isn’t AIBU. No need to be a twat to the OP.

The OP posted something looking to vent (and dare I say wanting a smidgen of support? On MN? Ha!). It looked like she had just found out and was dealing with an upset and already regretful DS; so what if it’s a little “over-dramatic”? This is the teenagers section, the perfect place for a vent and a scream before getting back to the task at hand.

Some of the replies on here are way over the top - she hasn’t posted hoiking her bosom saying all tattoos are shit and he won’t be able to get any job - she specifically said very early on that her DS had a specific career in mind and that this tattoo may cause issues if not removed.

Endoftether2000 · 30/08/2021 09:21

My sympathies are with you OP. You should be able to find a reputable place to have it lasered off. It will possibly be costly and time consuming though and some ink colours are harder to remove. Green being one of them. You could try the NHS due to him being tattooed underage but am not sure what success you would have. I always fancied a tattoo until I saw how they turned out when you get to your 80's.

user1523010848 · 30/08/2021 09:28

Suggesting that you go to the NHS? Really? You don't think that maybe, just maybe, they've got other things to be doing at the moment? Like saving lives. I can understand the distress, but it's done. Perhaps time to sit idiotic son down and tell him to get a job to pay for the removal. He's 17 for god's sake, not 7.

Ddot · 30/08/2021 09:30

I have a tattoo on my back (not a tramp stamp) nobody knows because it's well hidden but your wrist is different and being drug related is never a good look. My nieces is almost gone after several lazer treatments. It was very dark thick and black so took some fading but its getting there.

helentomelon · 30/08/2021 09:32

The NHS?! He wasn't held down and assaulted, he might be underage (or not, we do t know what country it was in) but he did it of his own free will. I seriously hope a doctors would laugh him out of the surgery!

Dyrne · 30/08/2021 09:36

@user1523010848

Suggesting that you go to the NHS? Really? You don't think that maybe, just maybe, they've got other things to be doing at the moment? Like saving lives. I can understand the distress, but it's done. Perhaps time to sit idiotic son down and tell him to get a job to pay for the removal. He's 17 for god's sake, not 7.
I don’t disagree that it’s better for the son to take responsibility and pay his own way but the way you’ve written this makes it look like you think the same doctors perform both open heart surgery and tattoo removal???
helentomelon · 30/08/2021 09:37

It's the same NHS though?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2021 09:39

The NHS?!!!!!!!

OP seems to have disappeared anyway (still too upset to read?) but all this stuff about rushing immediately into removal seems misguided to me. It's the son's body and he alone needs to decide if he wants to keep it or not. at least give him time to live with the tattoo and decide if he (himself, not his mother) actually thinks it's a mistake. I'm not counting girlfriend here, because I'm not convinced she exists.

ImInStealthMode · 30/08/2021 10:14

@Dyrne I'm not in any sense being a twat to the OP! I'm simply acknowledging that she may have been a bit over-dramatic given that she was so upset at the time, as anyone could be.

Given that she doesn't appear to be coming back we'll likely never know.

JustDanceAddict · 30/08/2021 10:23

@SmithfamilyRobinson

I hope you are all sitting down...? Youngest DS - nearly 18 - DID HIS OWN LOCKDOWN TATTOO. Gaily announced and showed us two weeks after he (and his friends) did it. Dropped jaws all round. THEN he did another one. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Did he regret it? Yes. Has it put him off getting one (very much not my cup of tea). No. I am pointing him in the direction of a professional. Unfortunately, the devil makes time for idle hands.
Likewise w my DD although she was 18 & at uni. Came home w loads of shite tattoos. Is now using bday money from her Gran to get a professional one - showed 85 year old gran the design!!?

My thoughts on the OPs son’s one is:
Unlikely not to get his chosen career
He ca. Cover it or get it tattooed over
Is it 420?

ThreeWitches · 30/08/2021 11:27

@Endoftether2000

My sympathies are with you OP. You should be able to find a reputable place to have it lasered off. It will possibly be costly and time consuming though and some ink colours are harder to remove. Green being one of them. You could try the NHS due to him being tattooed underage but am not sure what success you would have. I always fancied a tattoo until I saw how they turned out when you get to your 80's.
I mean, who really gives a shit by the time you're 80 though 😂
gerryk62 · 30/08/2021 11:32

Calm down woman. It’s only a tattoo
I don’t really like them. But everywhere you go especially chefs are covered in them
And your son’s girlfriend sounds like an eejit😂😩😩

itssarcasmjoan · 30/08/2021 11:46

I'd take him to the dr's and ask them to test for hepatitis and hiv.

Ultimately he will have a long time to regret his foolishness

Swipe left for the next trending thread