Would you tell their mum?

[Thenameiwanted]

If you caught your 14 yo daughter smoking with a friend and then found messages from the friend talking about getting some weed, would you tell their mum?

Yes

Yes

Yes.

No

Depends on the Mum

Yes

Yep, and I would hope that my DD’s friends’ parents would tell me

Nah, I find that there is little point, they generally work through these things.

Surely it depends on wether they are the kind of parent who will kick the shit out of their kid for it?

Yes because I would expect to be told if it was the other way around.

100% yes. Up to them what they do with the information.

Depends how well I knew the parent

Yes.

Nope.

Yes, definitely, and I'd be annoyed if her friend's mum didn't tell me.

No.

Yes, if I knew the mum. If not, I would probably tell the school.

No

Depends on the situation and the parent. I'd want to know, but I wouldn't be abusive to my dc if I found that out.

Mum isn’t going to be abusive but girl going to be in big trouble - mine is, and she swears she has never taken anything. I am just so cross with her for not nipppng this in the bud rather than going along with the peer pressure and chatting about it as if it is going to happen. I need her to understand that it is so much easier if you speak up in the first place and say you aren’t interested. But I do get it that i can say that as an adult - it isn’t ‘easy’ for teenagers.

No I wouldn't, I don't think I'd ever feel that I could be 100% sure how the other parent would react.

Coming from an abusive home where any small thing mentioned to my parents meant a horrific beating for me I'd probably too cautious about what might happen behind closed doors.

I might speak to the other child though, let them know that I saw the messages, am very disappointed as I thought they were cleverer than that, etc.

Yes. I would want to know.

And it makes it easier in a way that your child is involved too, it's not like you are saying "oh by the way, my kid is a great kid but yours is a weed-smoking anti-social nightmare".

Yes to the weed and I'd want someone to tell me if my children did. Cigarettes I probably wouldn't tell (but would still want to know if mine!)

Absolutely yes

Possibly if it was a friend. No if it was a parent I didn’t know. Some people will not be interested/some could kick off in a way I wouldn’t want to be responsible for.