Teens- let them sleep as late as they like or wake them up at a certain time?

[UhtredRagnarson]

They’ve nothing planned, no sports or activities to go to, no homework etc. If I wake them they still just stay in their rooms gaming so I don’t see them anyway.

I think a compromise is fair. My mum never let me have a lie in as a teen (hoovering against the bedroom door etc) and I really resented it, as well as being pretty sleep-deprived! I had a Saturday job so Sunday was my only day for a lie-in and I did need the extra sleep.

That said, I think I wouldn't let a teen sleep past 12 because it wreaks havoc with sleep cycles when they have to get up for school etc.

I'd let him sleep in. When you next speak ask if he'd prefer to be left to lie or be woken up. I have one that doesn't like sleeping in although I think she could do with the sleep. The other prefers to be left to her own devices.

I’d insist on them getting up for lunch I reckon, especially the 12yo.
They need a break and the sleep but I’d still try and drag them out for a decent “day out” at some point over the hols.

When mine were older teens I left them too it which meant they changed time zones and were occasionally awake when I got up and then slept until mid/late afternoon.
Means the older one doesn't mind what shifts Amazon put him on (he's back home post getting his degree)

I always left mine, sleeping teen is much better than angry teen!
I also like to sleep a lot anyway, today I got up at 12.30.

Let them have a sleep over. My dd norm gets up 12. Today she was up at 7am and up and out for 10am

I leave mine to sleep as they get up extra early to train for their sports before school normally and early on weekends for matches so if they have any days without plans they can sleep as long as they like.

Sunday is DS's only lie in so I would let him sleep until 12ish but then I'd start being "less quiet" outside his room in the hope it would rouse him.

The same applied to DD before she went to uni.

If they sleep too late and miss most of the day it just seems to impact on their wellbeing

It's a hard one. I let my DC sleep but generally not past midday. The problem is they get all out of sync for meal times, end up going to bed super late and then are wasted when they have to get up early for school. It's clear teen' body clocks are geared to late rising and late to bed but our society doesn't function like that.

I wake my almost 13 year old at 11am, sometimes 12pm. If I let her sleep any longer, she isn’t tired at night. Lockdown was a nightmare. She barely moved all day, so of course she wasn’t tired. We’re in a good routine now though. Bed is 10-10:30ish and she’s up at 7am Mon-Fri.

I wake DD up if it gets very late. If it’s a one off and she’s tired it doesn’t matter. At half term her body clock starts switching round if I don’t wake her.

My mother also used to Hoover my room at 8.30am at weekends for no good reason.

However my MIL never got out of bed before the middle of the afternoon on weekends, so DH used to have to get himself up.

Either way doesn’t budge

I leave dd to sleep but she wakes between ten and eleven anyway. I was never allowed to sleep in, dm would be hoovering the bedroom if I wasn't downstairs before 8am. To this day I find it impossible to stay in bed.

I leave them be. One now at uni, one at home. She tends to stay awake until 3am(ish) and gets up about 11. Strange body clock but it seems to work for her ... I don’t mind as long as I don’t hear her in the night.

I leave mine be on the weekends and in school holidays, but I agree that becoming completely nocturnal is bad for mental health so I do wake them up if it gets to 1/2pm

I wake mine up at 12 for lunch

Why would you wake them up..?

Wake up or he is Mr wide awake party style at 11pm when I need to be asleep.
Knocks his routine out if sleeps late

Exactly! That’s why I wake her up otherwise she stays awake all night and keeps us awake. Plus she gets really tired and emotional.

Surely midday is enough of a lie in!

It’s one think to sleep in a bit late and another to sleep yourself into a torpor. I did this as a teen and could keep sleeping all day. Then ended up awake a lot of the night, and this could lead to the school week being ruined. It also ended up causing depression.

Yes, teens need sleep but there is a limit before it can turn harmful in my opinion.

You can get ‘ sleep inertia’ that horrible, groggy, drugged feeling that goes on for hours and causes a bad mood. Also sugar cravings.

I let them sleep till about midday,I just go about as normal don't keep quiet for them. My dd is now 19 and will naturally get up about 10 am . My ds 17 would sleep all day if allowed .

My 19 year old has a full time job and has this week off as annual leave, DH and I will be at work tomorrow, so have absolutely no idea when he will get up, unless he's still in bed at 6pm when we get home (unlikely).

My eldest went off to University at 18 and he's still there I have no idea of his current sleeping/waking pattern.

That said, we've never had issues with them having a lie in and they have always been the sort to go to sleep at night if they are tired not need to be told to go to bed etc.

of a weekend I let my DD (13) sleep in but no later than about 10-10.30. I don't want her to waste he life lying in her pit, she can do that when she's old and tired!

I was leaving ds 18 to pretty much lay in until he wants from 16. Some days he sleeps all day, some days he’s up early and out to work / with mates etc. They have to learn to self regulate. I was awful and used to sleep all day til 4-5pm! I turned out ok!

Dd is 16 and asks me to wake her if she’s not up by 11 as she hates ‘wasting the day’!