When do you stop your children / teens from having to eat their veg??!

[Blewitt]

DD17 has become increasingly fussy about food, I was hoping that as the kids got older they got less fussy but there you go. She hates most veg but eats salad and fruit. Not the healthiest diet but could be a lot worse. She's not overweight. I feel fairly relaxed about her not Having to have all the veg with a meal, she's pretty good otherwise and not causing us too many dramas, but DH thinks, whilst she lives at home, she should eat what she is given. Which causes a lot of agro in the house and at mealtimes. She says they taste bitter and it makes her feel sick. Is she too old for us to be having these battles still, I mean in theory she could have moved out and be choosing her own food, or is he right and we should be more draconian about it? Thoughts? Thanks!

Your DH is insane. You can't possibly make a seventeen year old eat veg if she doesn't want to.

What does he do if she refuses, load the spoon with cabbage and make choo-choo train noises to try to get her to open her mouth?

Your thread title is really really confusing...
I wouldn't start a battle over food with a 17 year old, no.

Sorry Nonmaquillee, don't think I can change it now.
Thanks both, that's definitely my feeling but you know when you just wonder if you're the one that's in the wrong and need some outside perspective....

I think the ship has sailed on making her eat up her veg.
I have a rule that you have try something before you say you don’t like it, but if you don’t like it, I won’t make it. I don’t eat food I don’t like so I can’t make the DCs do it.

No of course I wouldn't make them eat it.

But if they like salad can you have chopped cucumber with the meal one day, chopped raw carrot the next etc. So theres something she can have with the meal. And occasioanlly a side salad.

Does she pack a veg in her lunch?

We have a selective eater and go this way.

If she eats salad and fruit she is still getting her 5 a day. Your DH is unreasonable. Most adults have foods they don't like and they can't be forced to eat them.

My expectation is that everyone will eat some veg. They all have some veg that they dislike, so I serve a range of veg. If I'm dishing up, I won't give DS leeks or DD raw tomato, or DH raw carrot. But I'll do broccoli as well as leeks and cucumber as well as tomatoes etc. I aim for 2 portions of veg with lunch and tea per person (I don't always achieve it!) Often I put big dishes in the middle of the table and everyone helps themselves. Manners dictate that you don't load your plate with something you aren't going to eat, but it means you can serve yourself a generous portion of what you like and a modest portion of something else.

You can't force a 17 year old to eat her vegetables. She is all but an adult now.

What is DH actually going to do if DD refuses and tells him to bugger off? It is a pointless power struggle for no gain. After all, she isn't exactly a toddler and she won't appreciate being spoken to like one. He's being a tit, and I would be telling him that in no uncertain terms.

I still give DD (18) 1 piece of broccoli - ever hopeful!

Phew - thanks all! She will be delighted

I just make sure each meal has a couple of things my dd16 will eat, so might bung a corn on the cob in, as I know that's a dead cert.

I never forced any of mine to eat veg but it was on their plate every day, if only a teaspoon of each.

As they grew they ate most but one won't eat mushrooms whole, but will in soup, another dislikes cauliflower but again no problem in soup.

I made a veg soup every week packed with everything and pureed when they were younger.
They had a bowl of it after school every day and loved it with buttered toast.
It massively took the pressure off dinner.

By having a teaspoon on the plate they became familiar and eventually they ate them.

They are all great eaters now and very rarely don't like something.

Might be too late. But I always insisted that my 2 ds's ate what was put in front of them. And they do. But that was right from the off. If you haven't done that it might be a lost cause. They both eat everything, apart from salad, which is fine.

Oblamov that's not really recommended anymore at all. Of course it will work for some though!

Oblomov, we did this too, and she used to be much better at eating them, it's the last couple of years she has become more fussy. DH is still in the mindset of you'll eat what is put in front of you where as most people on here, including me, feel we are passed this phase now she is basically an adult! I think we did what we could / should have and so now it's up to her

@KarmaViolet

Your DH is insane. You can't possibly make a seventeen year old eat veg if she doesn't want to.

What does he do if she refuses, load the spoon with cabbage and make choo-choo train noises to try to get her to open her mouth?

I remember many years ago I was about 15 and being a horrible hormonal cheeky teen to my parents when out for dinner, refusing to eat etc etx.. On of the waiters came over and asked if I needed an aeroplane... Then proceeded to wave the spoon in front of my face making aeroplane noises

KenAdams

No forcing here, at any age. So I don't expect DH (54) to eat broccoli either. We just make sure there is something everyone will eat and incorporate veg into mixed foods as well as having it as a side.

SavingsQuestions is it not recommended anymore? I don't mean demand, or force them. I just put a dinner down and expect all, everyone, to just eat.

What is recommended now then?

Are aeroplane noises not recommended now either?

Dh used to do an aeroplane, a helicopter or a chinook. The ds's used to squeal in delight. Is that a no no now aswell?

17! That's crazy and disrespectful to her as an (almost) adult. Think of her self esteem. I wouldn't dream of forcing food on anyone, everyone has likes and dislikes, stop putting food in front of her that you know she doesn't like. my Ds won't eat lettuce so I leave it off his plate, he gets the rest of the salad. Ask your Dh would he like to be forced to eat something.

Does she dislike all veg or the ones you usually have?
Might be fun to try some different veg/ different ways of cooking it, if she'll agree, while she's still at home and it's easier for her to experiment.
If she does agree ask dh to keep his thoughts to himself.

She says they're bitter? Is it things like broccoli and Brussels sprouts? Some people taste them as bitter. What veg does she like? Because carrot is sweet, peppers can be.

Until my mum lost the ability to prepare meals, she always put a slice of cucumber on my salad and a piece of tomato on my brother's - on the grounds that we would grow to like it.

From the time we left home for university, we used to ceremonially swap that slice with one another. But she continued to do it for another 30 years!

We are both very good eaters, by the way, and always have been, so her strategy worked with other foods, but I think there comes a time where adults have the right to express dislike of some things and just not eat them!

Cucumber is the work of the devil. Just saying. And beetroot.

They all have some veg that they dislike, so I serve a range of veg. If I'm dishing up, I won't give DS leeks or DD raw tomato, or DH raw carrot. But I'll do broccoli as well as leeks and cucumber as well as tomatoes etc. I aim for 2 portions of veg with lunch and tea per person (I don't always achieve it!)

Oh my word I hope these are all nursery or primary school age children. How about teaching them you are not their lackey