Gifted teen wants to leave school

[Syldon]

Dear all . I'm hoping for advice or pointers to helpful resources. Our DS, who is nearly 15, would like to leave school at the end of next year (the earliest he can legally). From the age of 6 or 7, he has taught himself computer programming, and last summer secured a real job at a real firm through connections he made online (we vetted the company and the owner and it's above board). He says that he's happiest when he's programming and cannot see the point of staying in school when school isn't teaching him 'skills to pay the bills' as he puts it. Our DS is at a boarding school that is supportive of his programming and gives him some time to work on it at school. He won the DT/STEM scholarship when he entered the school and this luckily has given him some extra time and space to work on his projects. But it seems that's no longer enough, and he emphatically now would like to leave school. His DH and I are wondering what to do: we are both university educated and value higher education. We appreciate that uni isn't for everyone, however, but we're very concerned that our DS will be losing opportunities in the long run. Of course, he can always go back to school later, and we realise this too. At the end of the day, we don't want our son to be miserable, and I think that forcing him to stay in school if he doesn't want to might result in depression or, at the minimum, lots of resentment. On the other hand, allowing him to drop out of school seems somewhat irresponsible from a parental perspective. I would very much appreciate hearing advice from anyone who has had a similar experience or might have words of wisdom to help us make a decision. Thank you very much. xx

I've got one teen doing A'Levels and I'm not sure you could force any child to do that amount of work against their will. I've seen parents try and it usually ends in misery for both child and parents.

Has he looked at other jobs on the field that he's interested in and seen what their entry requirements are? He might find that he doesn't need a degree or that a degree might leapfrog him over into a higher pay band.

Oh and I'd ask MHHQ to move this over to the teen board, it's usually a bit busier in there

We're moving this thread over to our Teenagers topic at the OP's request.

What's his plan for fulfilling the legal requirement to further his education?

www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school

I would let him leave. The world is a very flexible place, if he decides he wants or needs more formal education in a few years he can do it then, especially if he has a good job now and saves up some money so he has choices in the future. He will do a lot better if he’s doing what he loves than he ever will if he’s a reluctant a-level student.

I'm a web developer and I'm nit qualified in this field, I do have an undergrad and postgrad degree though.

If I was that good at that age I'd be looking at A levels for a Comp Sci degree, but if he's too impatient for that there are Digital Apprenticeships with many government/blue chip/agency companies which may suit him better. They are level 3 and 4 qualifications you work towards while you earn.

He can do this without qualifications though.

Was the job just a summer job? Would they be likely to employ him full time or offer him an official apprenticeship?
To do what he wants to do does he need an official qualification? If there is no apprenticeship available could he attend your local college to do the relevant qualifications?

careers.dwp.gov.uk/our-teams/dwp-digital-apprenticeships/

Here's one with the Department of Work and Pensions, I don't know the age criteria though. If he's interested in government the Government Digital Services department are highly regarded (in my part of the industry). The BBC will probably run them as well.

The IT world follows the real one in categories. Film and television/music/animation/games etc. Financial/legal/government etc. Logistics/transport/aviation. Medical/engineering/energy industry. App/web/mobile/gaming etc. Etc. Operating systems. Security. All have their specialisms and pathways.

He's probably not interested in the government side of things though, what does the firm who's made him an offer do?

A few years ago I worked with someone whose son was like this. He was super bright and really into computers. Left school at 16, fiddled about at college for a year, and then found an entry-level job at some computer software programming firm. Within 18 months, he'd been promoted so fast he was earning more than his dad, an accountant.

If he's found his niche, then I'd let him go for it.

As others have said, he can't just leave school - see the link previously posted.
Apprenticeships are a very real alternative, including degree apprenticeships as the degree seems so important to you.

In his field, real world experience along with apprenticeship qualification would be at least as attractive to employers as a degree.

I would chat to him about long term goals and about jumping through hoops.

He might not see the point in exams and grades at the moment. If he sees that doing exam A leads to qualification B which leads to job C it might encourage him to just get on with it.

I have two gifted DS. The eldest didn't want to go to uni and instead left school, got a great job and has his own home. He's 22. My youngest DS is 20 and at uni, lives with his gf and enjoying studying as well as working pt in his chosen field. I desperately wanted to go to uni but my parents wouldn't allow it. I'm 49 and studying with the OU.

Let him. Computer programming is one of the few fields left where a lack of formal qualifications won't prevent a talented person from progressing, and if he feels coerced into staying at school he's not likely to put much effort into it anyway.

I left school at 16, with much worse prospects, and have a couple of degrees now, so there's always that option if he changes his mind somewhere down the line. Education isn't a conveyor belt that you drop off and can never go back to. Right now he has a job and connections, so there's potential for great success there!

OP, I had a sense of dejavu reading this!

I wanted to quit school to do coding full time, but my parents made me stay in school. They also insisted I went to university so I did a computer engineering degree. Half way through the engineering course, I decided I did not want to do coding full time and did an MBA and went into management! I am now a tech startup founder and absolutely enjoy what I do. It's taken me a little while to figure out my life and career and I was a very confused teen, but I don't resent my parents making me go to uni. I've had several opportunities come to my life thanks to my uni.

Does your DS ever want to start his own firm or launch his own app? If you have a big brand university behind you, especially one of the US Ivy leagues, you get investment much faster and the access to alumni clubs is so so valuable. I would ask him to think about what he wants to do after 5-10 years of coding and then help him figure out how to get there.

Can this company encourage him to do a levels and professional Qualifications to validate his skills.

I understand where you are coming from. I will say that I went through higher education, and am doing a job I could ha e done at 18. I love it, I hated the student debt!

I would see if you could let him work and maybe this company agrees to support him educationally?

He can go to university at 20 or 21 or even later if he wants. I know several young adults who did that. No problem if he changes his mind.
Your DS seems v switched on
Another route tho is he could loOk at degrees with a Year in Industry. Bath and Leeds have a lot of these

It amazes me how people still seem to think 16 year olds can't leave school once they reach the end of Year 11 (or 'drop out') when the government link up thread clearly points out they can.

If he has a proper plan then I don't think you'd be irresponsible to let him go for it. My DH and I earn nearly exactly the same, above the national average and are doing well for ourselves.

I come from a family where not going to uni wasn't really an option. I have a first class honours degree from a good uni, in a traditional subject, a MA, a MSc and a fuckton of debt and had barely started to get a house deposit together when I met DH. He left school at 16, got an apprenticeship in an area where he will always have a job, worked his way up and put his deposit down for our house when he was 25 - the age at which I'd finished graduating and was completely broke. I was then unemployed for eight months, desperately trying to find work in my chosen area. Arguably the financially smarter thing for me to do would have been to train in a more stable career that I was good at, that didn't require £30k of student debt, and to use my childhood savings and teenage/student job wages for a house deposit 20 years ago, not to put towards a MA & MSc.

I sometimes wonder whether I'd have been in a better financial position when we met - and my career less subject to the vagaries of the economy - if apprenticeships and other career paths had been held up as just as valid for bright students. If your son works hard and is bright, he will succeed whatever he does.

Thank you everyone for your wonderful responses thus far. Instead of replying individually, here are my summary thoughts:

• My DH works in the software industry and says that a qualification (such as from a college) doesn't grant many benefits if someone already has good tech skills in terms of securing an entry-level job.

• Our DS is apparently very good at coding, particularly mobile apps. He has already independently developed a few. He's been doing full-stack web development for the company he has been working for, but also collaborates with friends he has made online.

• I appreciate the comments about life being fluid: it is indeed! The experience of going to university has changed since my DH and I went, and it's much more of a sausage factory now. That being said, my DS has dual UK/US citizenship, and (before the current crisis) always said he wanted to go to a US uni.

• As for the formal governmental requirements for an apprenticeship if you leave school at 16, I'm hoping that his current company could sign off on supporting an apprenticeship.

• I think we will continue to discuss the benefits of A-levels, and one solution might be to have him to them in his home town instead of at boarding school. That way, he'd have more time to work on his personal projects.

• As for making professional connections, completely agree that those contacts are crucial. I'm amazed at the semi-famous people my DS has interacted with online however (e.g., the designer of TypeScript and C# ). Not that he's best buddies with these people, but via places like Club House and Discord discussion boards, he seems to meeting a wide range of people.

At the end of the day, my DH and I obviously do not want to coerce our son - that will lead to disaster, as many of you have pointed out. We just always naturally assumed that our kids would go to uni. We want our DS to thrive and be happy. He's a great kid - very sociable and gets on with a lot of people. He has a passion and a spark and we don't want to quash that. Your comments are helping us realise that uni might not be the best for our DS (at least right now).

Thank you again for your wonderful thoughts. xx

I’d be relaxed as long as he gets qualifications equivalent to a levels (assume he will finish his GCSEs first?). This could be an apprenticeship, nvq, whatever - but that would be my requirement to let him.

Your son sounds really talented, mature and focussed. I would let him choose his path, it doesn't sound the the typical sixth form, uni route would benefit him any more than what he is currently doing.

If he's very skilled at what he does and can accomplish in that field then his CV will fast outweigh whether he has A-levels or even a degree. After he has been in his industry for 2 or 3 years future employers will not be looking at school qualifications. In fact, I don't know anyone who even puts those on their CV. Back him now, he won't forget your support.

Op I'd be digging deep. Is it the school it's self he doesn't like, would he rather go to a day school ?

I would think my stipulation would be he can leave school but only if he has a college place or apprenticeship.

My DH works in the software industry and says that a qualification (such as from a college) doesn't grant many benefits if someone already has good tech skills in terms of securing an entry-level job.

I think that's a moot point since he will have to take some sort of education to be allowed to leave school at 16. Not sure how he would get an entry level job otherwise. So he might as well use that to gain some sort of relevant qualification. Hence my comments about apprenticeships.