DD (13 years old) wants a nose piercing?

[mamabear073]

My 13 year old DD has been pestering me nonstop for a septum piercing, for detail, she's already dyed her hair bright red, has an ear piercing and wears very rebellious clothes. She's into very agressive and OTT makeup with lots of eyeliner. I never see any other teen in my local neighbourhood dressing like her, but she says she has! I just feel like she's too young to get a septum, I don't want her ruining her body, but she's been begging me nonstop, I feel like I'll end up giving in soon. Is how my DD dressing normal? Should I let her get a piercing at 13?

If you're not keen, say no, not at the moment. If she still wants it done in a few years she can.

Is she allowed legally?

No, 16 minimum.

My 15 year old has been asking for the last couple of years. I've simply told her that she can't whilst she's still at school as it's against uniform policy.

She legally can’t have it done.

My 13 year old dresses like that. She has asked for the piercing but she's too young.

There's no legal age restriction in England and Wales.

There are fake nose rings on amazon etc that she could use until she's 18.

I would be concerned whether her tastes are her own or whether she's exploited / groomed / abused into these preferences. No point in asking her as she'd be adamant it's her own choice but I'd keep a close eye on who she's interacting with. If there's no one like that in you neighbourhood it's worth investigating her social media 'friends'.

I was desperate for my tongue pierced at a similar age. My mum said no way and I was free to get it done at 16 if I was still bothered. Went totally off it - so glad she didn’t let me! Don’t give in there’s no need for it. Plus the school most likely wouldn’t let her wear it anyway?

Forgot to say fake rings look very realistic these days!

She can legally have it done, if you could find somewhere to do it. I think the fake one is a better option really.

Quite probably against school dress code.

No. She can have one when she can get it without parental consent. A nose piercing at 13 looks horrific (and that’s coming from someone with a nose piercing)

16 is the age she can get one with no parental consent

My 13 year old DD has expressed an interest in a septum piercing. We've talked about the issues that can arise and that she is welcome to in the future. I've promised she can get some more ear piercings once lockdown is open. I think she's too young for a septum piercing and she understands that.

My DD also dresses aggressively! She doesn't wear heavy eye liner because she can't get it to work on her left eye! But she's practising. I help advise and guide her, I've helped her dye her hair. I think it's important to be able to express yourself at that age. Yes, she's influenced by people online but I wouldn't say groomed! I'm just grateful she isn't wanting to wear Lacy underwear and pouty pictures on Instagram like some of the girls in her year (year 9).

Thanks all for the tip on fake nose rings!

My daughter has these, she was obsessed with them for a few months but I've not seen her wearing them recently, I presume she went off it now.

My DDs (both under 16) have 6 ear piercings each and the younger of the 2 wants another when the tattoo shop reopens but I 100% draw the line at a nose piercing. I’d say minimum age 16 for that.

Blue banana won’t do septum piercing on under 16 even with parental permission, I thought it was a legal thing but apparently it isn’t. My body piercer won’t do under 16s unless it’s ears.

I mean if she does get a septum piercing she can flip it up out of sight when at school. So probably better than a nose piercing. 🤷‍♀️

Get her a fake one as a compromise until she’s 16. Etsy have some lovely ones.

The thing is, if you don’t facilitate a safe and trusting way for her to express her individuality, she’s going go ahead and do it without you knowing and you’re going to have no control of where, how, or with who she does these things with. My parents weren’t perfect by any means but I was desperate for a nose piercing when I was 14. They said yes on the condition they booked the appointment with somewhere reputable and chaperoned me and explained why. As much as I was excited to get the piercing, it was also a huge lesson for me in making good decisions and to this day, I have never and would never get, a dodgy tattoo or piercing.

Btw, what are rebellious clothing? and where can I get some?

Get your own done. Fastest way to put her off.

I wouldn't mind to be honest it can be flicked up into the nose and you wouldn't even know it was there . I wanted my bellybutton pierced at the same age , wasn't allowed but I went and got it done anyway

If you find a shop willing to pierce a 13 year old's septum it's not a shop you want to be going to. I say this as someone who got their own done at 17.

Oh FYI! Aforementioned nose piercing is still in use regularly 20+ years later

Good idea from @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz - you could say that you need to do yours first just to make sure it's safe, then if all fine, DD will go second after yours is healed properly. I think the thought of this alone will be off the scale off putting to any teenager.