Boy trouble at drama club

[tigermoth]

Opinions needed!

ds1 (age 13) has been happily taking part in a youth drama club at our local amateur dramatic theatre for several years. The club was run in a nice but chaotic way by one main leader. In the last year other adults came in to help out, including a dance orientated teacher who also does a lot for the main theartre. She is very committed and also expects lots of commitment from the teenagers (age 11 - 16). In some ways, she is just what the club needed.

But she seems to have had a really bad effect on the boys. Of the 10 boys there, at least 6 are leaving after this next show (a medley of musical numbers). True, some are leaving due to school exams but others (ds1 included) are leaving because they are fed up.

The boys (so ds tells me) are fed up because the girls( who tend to be more dance orientated) have been given more to do and say in the show. The girls also get away with being distracting or chatting etc while the boys get told off much more. I take all of this with a pinch of salt but generally I think this teacher seems to have 'lost' the boys and has little empathy with them.

The final straw is that she and the music director have decided to cut the boys' main song and dance routine from the show - the West Side Story tune 'Officer Krumpke(sp)' as apparently the boys don't know the words. I know ds1 knows his words as he has been singing them at home for weeks! It was also one of the only bright spots in this show for him - it has been a struggle to get him to go to the rehearsals (and 9 hours a week for the last six weeks is a big chunk of his time). So (with regret) I have vowed not to stand in his way if he wants to quit after this show.

I am really sad that ds1 has been so turned off the youth drama club. He has said he never wants to do another play again, anywhere at all, not school, not another club.

I would never blame the teacher for this - ds is old enough to know his own mind, and if he's decided drama isn't his thing, fair enough.

But I am still cross that this teacher seems to be on a power trip and is intent on modelling the club to her own ideas while giving the boys a hard time. As it stands, there will be 20 girls and 2 boys left in the club if all the boys who say they are leaving do leave

I so feel like saying something to her or one of the organisers about the dropping of the boys' song - they were all gutted at the time and complained. The assistant leaders were sympathetic but have no power to do anything. But if I say something, I don't want to make the atmosphere any worse than it already is

Ahh....amateur dramatics!

blimey sounds very precise.

I would say something. Sounds like it can't get much worse and it could make things better.

Do the club know that x number of boys are planning to leave? Do they know why?

I would tell them to give them an oppotunity to change things. It may make all the difference.

Maybe they haven't noticed/worked with boys before.

I would say something. DD2 17 and DD3 15 both go to youth Drama clubs. Boys and Girls in both clubs are treated equaly.

I would say something to the organisers - it sounds like it could hardly make things worse and you say ds1 will be leaving anyway.

Is there any way the boys' main song could be reinstated? Perhaps if the boys prove they know their words?

Just seems blatantly unfair. Possibly the teacher hasn't worked much with boys.

What a shame for ds1, tigermoth. I think it would be worth sharing your views with the teacher. After all, she presumably doesn't want the club to be a boy-free zone?

Is the original leader still involved? Could you speak to him?

DS2 goes to a drama club and, in the shows, boys and girls have equal time on stage. I think the club needs to know that the introduction of a new teacher is leading to the loss of most of their male talent. I bet the other two boys won't last long amongst so many girls either and then it won't be a balanced drama group - just a girls' club.

ds tells me he hasn't seen the original leader for the last three weeks, and wonders why not. Of course, he could just be ill or on holiday.

Thanks for your thoughts on this. I'm going to phone up one of the assistant helpers today, to check dress rehearsal arrangements for next week and also ask what's going on with the dropping of this song.

I am so sad that ds1 wants to leave, but I admit that some of this for purely selfish reasons as I've enjoyed seeing the shows and meeting the people involved in them. I have decided I can't push ds1 any more. He has a good singing voice, but enough is enough.

ds1 has been spending six hours each Saturday and three hours each Thursday at rehearsals. This has been going on for six weeks and when I think that this is on top of a school week, it is a lot to ask of him. Usually this level of commitiment only kicks in during the last 2 or 3 weeks before a show.

The teacher gets cross if people want to leave early or can't make it and has taken parts away from absantees. Fair enough in some cases but from what ds1 tells me, it seems a bit heavy handed and if kids are missing rehearsals, perhaps the teacher needs to ask look at herself and ask why

And the dress rehearsals are scheduled for October 31 and other dates around fireworks night, which is really bad timing.

That does seem totally OTT. Almost as if this teacher is desperate to prove something. DS2's club only has a couple of extra rehearsals in the weeks before a show and then on the morning of the show itself.

After all, this is meant to be something they choose to do because they enjoy it. The minute it becomes too demanding or a chore, obviously they'll begin to think about doing something else - and that's without the unfair treatment of the genders.

Exactly Freckle. Rehearsals have become a chore for ds. When I pick him up he looks so down about things. A year ago he'd have been bouncing around full of enthusiasm. I suspect some of this is his age, but I do feel the time commitment is too much. Interesting to hear that your son's drama club don't do these long hours.

No, they do one hour a week - normal session. In the run up to a show, they have two extra sessions on a Friday evening - usually 4-8pm - and then they are at the venue from about 10am until the end of the show later that afternoon.

I should add that, on the weeks when they have the extra sessions, they don't have their normally weekly hour-long session.

I think you'll have to get the leaders to understand the situation.

It would be such a shame if your ds and the other boys dropped drama for ever.

I've just been talking to a friend about this - she's another parent and knows the club well although her children don't belong to it.

She thinks it's really not on that the only boys' song was dropped and suggests I should pull ds out of the show. She thinks all the boys' parents should do the same, as the leaders' aren't being fair and giving the boys much support.

If your ds isn't that bothered about continuing, I don't see the harm in doing that as it may well make the organisers thing twice about their methods.

However, I do think you should speak to someone first. After all, they may be oblivious to the bad feeling and it would be harsh to pull out all the boys without giving the organisers the chance to rectify matters. If they fail to do that, then, yes, pull out ds - and any other boys who feel the same way and are willing.

I think you do need to talk to someone at the theatre about this tigermoth
I'm really sorry the club has taken this direction currently.
To be brutally honest, there are Stagecoach type classes galore out there for people who want to do dancy/showbizzy type theatre - the one your ds1 goes to is the only one I know of taking a more spoken word/acting line locally.
Apart from anything, has it occurred to anyone at the theatre that you lose your teenage boys, you are cutting off any supply of adult men in the future (always in short supply in amateur theatre).
I have a horrible feeling your old leader has been undermined at management level though.
I saw this happen to my amazing old leader at the same club, and the more "favoured" person who replaced him was rubbish with the children - patronising and a big fan of the well-made play (as written by him and starring his own children). Dire. We all left
It is such a shame. From what you say, those assistant leaders ought to be speaking up more and the fact that they aren't lends more weight to the Management Coup hypothesis. They may know it will do no good.

Hi I thought I could add to this as DD has a couple of drama groups. Boys can be a nightmare, usually showing off in front of the girls. They can waste a lot of time, yesterday ours were meant to rehearse 6 pages, but the messing meant they only got two done. Next week we have the next lot of pages to rehearse and we are now behind. We have an hour with everyone together and then they go home if they are not needed or stay on to rehearse particular scenes. That cuts out people having to sit and do nothing. DD would never cut a song from a show unless it was absolutely necessary. Usually if the production was too long or else they did not know the song. If the boys really want to do their song they should get together and rehearse it, then go back to the director and put their case before him, but only if they are word perfect. A production usually brings the cast all together and fires them up for the next show. As for people not turning up or leaving early, that is a nightmare. You cant do a run if the main parts have to go home early or can't manage to come along. When you sign up to do a show you have to be committed. Could you see that happening in the west end?. The people who run these clubs usually do it for the love of theatre, because the majority dont get paid. As for walking out, that is so unfair. At this late date a lot of money has probably been spent on props and costumes and to leave now would be wicked. I would speak to the organisers about the boys wanting to leave, but I would not go in guns blazing. Be prepared for some home truths. I dont mean to sound like an ogre but I spend every Sunday with the drama groups and I know what goes on.

Marina, thanks for your behind the scenes perspecitive. I tried to phone the leader last night but he was not in. I think there may be a lot of truth in your theory.

Deste, I don't think it would be 'wicked' for the boys to leave as I think they have been let down by the leaders. Remember they go voluntarily and before this leader joined, things were different. She appears to have changed the goal posts - ie 6 hours rehearsing on a saturday with just a half hour break. If she finds the boys are difficult to manage, she has herself to blame for that - IMO it's a long time for anyone.

ds1 tells me the boys song was the last song in the show to be set out as a dance routine, so the boys were only given their dance steps on Saturday, less than a week before opening night. They didn't pick up the steps quickly, hence the cutting of the song. Considiering that thre have been 9 hours of rehearsals a week since mid September, this smacks of bad organisation on the part of the leaders, and a possible negative atttitude to the boys taking part in the show.

I am not pulling ds out of the show otherwise it would negate the hard work he has already done. But your message confirms that boys and drama leaders are not an easy mix - and the fault lies with both sides.

Can I add that the leader of DS2's drama group says that she loves teaching the boys as they have such energy and enthusiasm. They are much less concerned with "how they look" and are willing to tackle anything thrown at them. There are just as many boys as girls in his club.

Drama teachers, like school teachers, have to learn that boys respond differently to girls and if the show is more obviously aimed at girls and their talents, it's going to turn off the boys who will possibly then play up.

Your drama group sounds excellent Freckle.
We had fewer boys at ours but the ones there were just as committed as the girls.
Of my three close male friends from my youth theatre days, one is now a dramatherapist, another an arts administrator, and the third a senior production manager at the BBC.
Later on Jude Law came through the same scheme.
They ALL hated doing song and dance stuff though. I really feel if a drama group actually wants boys on board they should make sure there is plenty of improv work and physical theatre included. Very easy to do a load of sub-High School Musical twaddle and then wonder why the boys start feeling alienated

Just got back from dropping ds off at his dress rehearsal. I did manage to talk to the original leader of the group - phoned him yesterday morning. I queried why the song was cut and told him how it had been a real blow to ds1 and the rest of the boys.

Apparently he did not know the full story and of course, I only know what ds1 has told me. I relayed this emphasisin how demotivated the boys feel generally.

He said he would talk to the other leader and musical director to find out what had happened, but tbh, I think he was fobbing me off. I don't know if he is in the process of leaving but he seems a lot less hands on. When ds1 turned up at rehearsals yesterday the song was still cut, and will definitly not be in the show.

The dress rehearsals (three and a half hours a night) run Tuesday, today and Thursday (Thursday was meant to be a rest day for the cast but now it isn't). The show is on Friday and Saturday evenings, so there is no break at all. This is not the usual pattern for rehearsals - I expect the last week to be busy but the day before has always been a rest day.

It is all a bit exhausting tbh, and I wonder exactly what is being expected of the cast, all who are at school during the day. I also wonder if the ambition and perfectionism of the producer and music director is getting out of hand.

However, ds1 seems to be ok about it all and is getting that pre performance rush of adreneline - but he's also definite about leaving the club afterwards.

Your drama group sounds like it has the balance right, Freckle. Marina, I am really hoping ds1 gets involved with school drama productions, so he can recapture his enthusiasm. He isn't totally averse to song and dance routines, but is a very reluctant dancer because of his knee problems, so a straight play with some singing would probably suit him much better.

Hi Tigermoth - I have a bit of experience in drama and drama club - and teenage boys . worked in tv and did a lot of casting so have been involved with loads of drama clubs. Now work in the performing arts centre of a school which also hires out the theatre as a venue to outside organisations both amateur and professional. It is VERY difficult to get boy actors, more difficult to get boys who sing and dance as well. We have had to drop an A level course here because the boys were not interested. Many boys go to drama groups when they are little - usually because of parental encouragement - very few carry it on into their mid teens. Please don't let DS stop, do encourage him to continue - but it is a HUGE commitment. IME his club don't sound unusual at all and our school production involves many, many rehearsals. We have our main production in February next year and currently the cast are rehearsing for 2 hours each Monday and Wednesday night plus all Sunday morning and the principals do more on top of that. Nearer the time - ie from January they will do all day Saturday and Sunday up until the week of the production. Most local groups who use the theatre have a similar full schedule so I don't think it is unusual. Maybe the new leader comes from a background where that is normal so he/she doesn't think they are asking a lot. Cast members not turning up for rehearsals is an immense problem - sometimes you never actually get the whole cast together until the tech or dress rehearsal and that really is not good enough. There always seems to be a reason not to come - often sport commitments with boys. Heads of Sport do not seem to understand that it is just as important to attend a rehearsal as it is to play a match for a team. Another, irritating, fact is that people audition for a play or musical and then lose interest and become unavailable if they fail to get a big part. It's certainly true that amateur groups and schools tend to do more musicals as there are far more girls involved and that is what they like to do. Hope it all goes well. West Side Story is fab! Costs a lot to put that one on with performance rights and it has quite a big orchestra. Gosh that was a long one!

I find your message quite worrying motheroftwo boys, though I know you are being helpful and didn't mean to alarm me.

Thanks for your insight regarding the commitment expected of young people in many youth performance groups.

But from my viewpoint, as a parent, the hours you state are way too much on top of school. Even if my 14 year old was dance and drama mad, I would feel very uneasy about him rehearsing all day saturday AND sunday plus two week day evenings. I could live with this routine for a week or so leading up to the play, but you are talking of between four to eight weeks of this consistently. What with fitting in homework and school that leaves virtually no time to relax.

I know a lot of this time would be fun and inspiring, but it's still work of a sort. I'd feel the same if we were talking about a sports team.

I am not surprised that you say drama clubs find it hard to retain their teenage boys and that cast missing rehearsals is a huge problem. With that sort of schedule, what can one expect?

You say " please don't let DS stop, do encourage him to continue - but it is a HUGE commitment" I most definitely can't take that advice I'm afraid. The very last thing I would do is force ds1 to continue with a drama club that expects so much of his time and make him feel like a naughty boy for not wanting to give it his all.

I do have some experience of this myself - I went to drama and dance classes as a child, took lot of exams but dropped everything around the age of 14. For years I had no interest in these things, but when I moved to London in my twenties my interest was rekindled. I did a variety of dance, drama and improvisation evening classes and then performed in a band for a couple of years. My childhood drama background certainly helped give me the confidence and desire to do this. But only when the time was right for me. And I did it for me, not for anyone else.

Yes, I would love ds1 to be interested in drama so we could share this interest, and up to a point I would push/encourage him to attend classes, but I feel that point has been passed now and ds has to decide for himself.

are they doing the whole of West Side Story or just one song? I would question the judgement of someone who planned to stage that with a load of teenagers...it's bloody difficult!

They were just doing the one song from West Side Story. The show is a medley of song and dance numbers with some drama scenes to loosely link it all - show songs, pop songs etc.

Well, ds has decided to stay on for the time being! He really got into the spirit of things in the run up to the performances and for the shows themselves. I had a feeling he was re thinking it as he got a bit quiet about his leaving plans, then a day before the first show, he announced to me that he wanted to stay on. I am really delighted as he did this off his own bat, without me nagging him to reconsider.

Between now and christmas there will be no pressure as there won't be any performance rehearsals, just saturday morning workshops and outings. New boys will be joining the group and hopefully they'll stay. As long as everything seems ok, ds says he's up for being in the next show in the spring.

I am really glad about this, as I think ds1 would have missed the friends he has made and in the winter, especially, the drama group provides a very welcome activity.

However, these last months have made me realise that ds1 is now too old to be pushed into attending drama or anything else - it's his choice to go. But the deal I have with ds is if he says 'yes' to the next show, he must go to rehearsals willingly and regularly - I've said to him that it's my job to make sure he goes to them as much as he possibly can.

However, I think it is at times a huge commitment and there is no way I would want it to jeopardise ds1's school work or his well being. I do feel uneasy that, at times, some of the leaders expect so much from the young cast. IMO it tips the experience too far from fun and inspirational into being angst-ridden and a struggle. I will have no hesitation in talking to the leaders if I think they are driving ds1 (and the rest of the cast) too hard.

As for the shortened Officer Krumpke song, when I saw the show at the weekend, I still think cutting it was a mistake.