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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

daughter wants to keep snacks in her room

37 replies

kellysandra1231 · 10/01/2021 23:33

Hi,

my daughter is 14 and got a box of Japanese snacks for christmas.
She wants to get a small basket to keep on her desk, and fill with snacks.

I don't agree with this, she is allowed to eat in her bedroom however i don't think she should have constant access to snacks.

Please tell me your opinions on this as she is really keen and i don't like saying no, but i'm not really sure.

OP posts:
minipie · 10/01/2021 23:35

I would say no because I wouldn’t want the crumbs, risk of mice being attracted etc. Does she have carpet? That’s enough reason to say no IMO.

But just saw you allow her to eat in her room... so maybe that won’t work

KilljoysDutch · 10/01/2021 23:35

Oh, They're doing this on TikTok, They won't be for eating it's all for the "aesthetic".

Original poster
kellysandra1231 · 10/01/2021 23:36

Thanks for the quick responses.

My daughter doesn't have tiktok as she's just not been particularly interested but that is strange haha.

She doesn't have carpet in her room which is why i allow her to bring food to her room in the first place.

OP posts:
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 10/01/2021 23:36

So long as her bedroom isn't a midden what's the issue ?

It won't attract mice anymore than any food in the house will.......if mice start nibbling on them then it's because you've already got mice. Hmm

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 10/01/2021 23:37

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HeyListenNavi · 10/01/2021 23:38

Why not just let her have a limited amount and when they're gone they're gone? The novelty will probably wear off anyway.

Neolara · 10/01/2021 23:38

I think as she's 14 it would be good to let her make up her own mind about what she wants in her own room.

Original poster
kellysandra1231 · 10/01/2021 23:38

What? SheldonesquelsUnwell

I don't know what a midden is haha but I assume that isn't what her bedroom is!

OP posts:
negomi90 · 10/01/2021 23:39

What's your precise worry? Think about what it is and then address that with her to see if you can come to a compromise.
Hygiene and crumbs? - Are things going to go off, is she going to clean the area.
That she won't eat at meal times? Then let try it and see, warn her that if she's not eating meals the trial will end.
That she'll be full of junk? Don't give her junk to have up there or decide how much junk you'll let her have in a week and then give it to her and tell her that's her allowance for the week.

Lots of people graze throughout the day or snack, there's nothing wrong with it if done healthy. But if you can pinpoint what about her plan is bothering you, then its easier to have a sensible discussion and reach a conclusion - either a no or a yes if x,y,z conditions are met and if they stop being met it becomes a no.

KilljoysDutch · 10/01/2021 23:40

Possibly seen it on Instagram or Youtube then. There's loads of videos of people filling a basket or fridge with cute looking Japanese foods. My DD called them "fake fatties" because the food never gets eaten. Grin

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/01/2021 23:42

So long as she has no eating disorder or unhealthy bmi, I would provisionally allow it as a way to teach her self-regulation. I say provisionally because I would allow it with understanding that if she cannot keep her intake to an agreed sensible level, you can later decide to remove the snack basket from her room. I would have the sensible level be a weekly limit, not a daily one so she has freedom to say eat a few items one day, and then none the next.
Similar to desert nights, at that age I told my DCs they can have a desert twice a week. Don’t care which nights after supper, totally up to them. Worked really well. They still do this as adults out of habit. You could do same with her snacks. She can fill basket with x snacks every Sunday and it’s to last her the week.

Atrixie · 10/01/2021 23:44

I say no but we have a no food out of the kitchen rule so it’s non negotiable to me

Prisonbreak · 10/01/2021 23:48

A midden is a mess.

zeitgeista · 10/01/2021 23:51

why not

MargeryMcLatchie · 11/01/2021 00:17

She's 14 and you won't let her have a few snacks in her room? Pick your battles I say (PS this is one to let go!)

RickiTarr · 11/01/2021 00:20

A midden is a loo.

Is she your eldest? 14 is the start of the “pick your battles” years.

Changethetoner · 11/01/2021 00:29

I let my daughter have a box of snacks in her room. We live in the middle of nowhere, and she has no ready access to shops for snacks, so I buy her some, or she buys them, and keeps them til she wants to eat them. She has amazing willpower, and has never over-indulged. She's 15.

BackforGood · 11/01/2021 00:45

I think this is about self regulation. Lots of people will be fine sitting next to a load of snacks, others will struggle.

The fact they are 'Japanese snacks' and she wants them 'in a basket' and, mainly she had them for Christmas and STILL has some left means you have nothing to worry about.

Who the jeff still has Christmas snacks left nearly 1/2 way into January ? Confused

BackforGood · 11/01/2021 00:46

Plus, at 14, mine were all perfectly capable of buying themselves snacks anyway, and having them all out and "displayed" seems to set up for a much healthier relationship with food than having a stash hidden away in her sock drawer.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 11/01/2021 00:56

My 14-year-old granddaughter wanted a box of Korean snacks for Christmas. It's a weird fad, related to pop bands. Let her have them. When they are gone, they are gone, like Christmas candy. If she eats it all at once she may have a tummy ache but she will learn. It is her gift and her snacks and she should be the one to regulate eating.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/01/2021 00:59

@GeorgiaGirl52

My 14-year-old granddaughter wanted a box of Korean snacks for Christmas. It's a weird fad, related to pop bands. Let her have them. When they are gone, they are gone, like Christmas candy. If she eats it all at once she may have a tummy ache but she will learn. It is her gift and her snacks and she should be the one to regulate eating.
This.

If she's going to gorge herself on food then she'll do it whether you dole out one of HER treats a day or not. Unless you suspect she has an eating disorder, I'd trust s child this age to be sensible or suck it up if she gets stomach and pukes

yankeedoodledandee · 11/01/2021 01:16

She is allowed to eat in her room, you say you don't want her to have constant access to snacks, do you mean she isn't free to take her food from the kitchen

peak2021 · 11/01/2021 09:17

I agree with you OP as it could be a route to excessive snacking and weight issues.

CouchPommeFrite · 11/01/2021 17:23

I think the constant access to snacks right at her fingertips that she can access without even getting out of the chair may become an issue. For now I would allow it to see if she can self regulate.

A midden is a rubbish heap you used to have in your back garden in medieval times, well according to Ds's GCSE Peoples' Health topic it is.

MrMeSeeks · 11/01/2021 18:11

They’re her treats. Let her have them.

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