Condoms for teen boy

[WeAllHaveWings]

Haven't really considered ds(16) having sex before, but he was talking about a friends antics this afternoon and I thought I should.

Last year I showed him the C-Card app and how to find the local pharmacys where he could get condoms if he wanted them. My thoughts were if he was old enough to have sex he would be old enough to go and get some condoms.

Now I'm thinking I should buy some and leave in his room/bathroom just incase he is too embarrassed to go in. It's that what others do with their teens? Dh says I can do what makes me most comfortable but he thinks I should leave him to it.

Now, I am in my 50s and haven't seen a condom in 30 years and back then the guy got them so I couldn't tell you what make/type. Saw a Durex starter pack and thought ah that might be just the thing, but dont want to buy/leave for my son something that say "intense stimulating"!!!! It could scar him for life 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

Condom users out there. Can you please tell me what to buy? Just brand and type 🙏 and do they have instructions inside (a bit like tampons?). I might be over thinking this........

(Hopefully he'll be following social distancing rules and it won't be anything to worry about for a while yet 🤣)

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If you've found this page in search of condoms that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best condoms useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Oh god, please dont buy him condoms. He’ll be mortified. You sound way too over invested in his sex life.

Just don't.

I bought packets for my DD’s and they were left in their bathroom.
DD1 took 5 packets to schoolies. All different shapes and sizes.
Her friends thought I was nuts but she just laughed.
I told them there were to be no STI’s or unplanned pregnancies.

Really? I actually thought it was the done thing nowadays to subtly stick a packet somewhere for them? Maybe not. 😳🤣

I would buy them, tell him that you expect him to be responsible for his own health and birth control, and then leave him to it.

Well, I had three boys who were all teenagers at the same time. They all knew that there was a jar of condoms in the bathroom cabinet which they could help themselves to with no questions asked. As there were three of them there was no embarrassment because nobody would know who'd taken them.

I'll never understand why some parents are so bad at this!

16 is actually pretty late to be considering all this to be honest.

Are you expecting that school has covered all he needs to know about sex and relationships?

Ideally your dh (assuming he's the lads father) will if he hasn't already (personally I think this should have been done at least 4 years ago!) sir your son down and discuss sex, relationships, sexual heath, enthusiastic consent, porn etc including how to use a condom CORRECTLY

Although the majority of that both of you really should have been doing for several years at this point

I can see you being a granny a lot earlier than you hoped if you don't address this

When dd was approaching the stage of dating and it becoming more serious than just describing a lad who had agreed to being so called as her boyfriend with the occasional kissing session that accompanied i reviewed all we'd discussed in preceding years, bought condoms and a pack of cheap pregnancy tests which were stored (discreetly but she knew they were there) in the bathroom and made sure she knew if she wanted my presence and support to go to the drs with any associated issues then I was here for her.

That's surely the basics?

Agree with @Graphista.
You need open communication.
I always did the sex talks in the car as they could not escape 😀
We also had a great talk about porn and expectations.
DD2 quite clearly told me ‘ that is an exit point, not an entry point’ when we were talking about pressure to do things she was not comfortable with like anal sex.
Did the whole condom on the banana to show how to apply one correctly.
Both DD’s know that they can talk to me about anything.

Same as @DramaAlpaca.

It's not being over invested in your child's sex life. No unwanted pregnancies. No STIs. After the initial (mega) box they all sorted themselves out.

@Graphista don't know why you're being so smug when you're basically describing what you did as what the OP is wanting to do. Lose the tone, you sound awful!

@Graphista, you'll be relieved to know ds had been well educated in everything from sex, STIS, relationships, the emotional side for both sees, respect, contraception, myths, consent, self checking testicles, porn, and everything else you can think of from age 7 or 8 onwards.

All boys/young men are different, and develop at different rates (physically, emotionally, socially), some will be sexually active very young others not. I know my son well and there has been no need for considering this before now, even now is early for him. He hasn't dated since age 12 and even then they never got past the hand holding stage! He is a boys boys and they rarely hang around with girls at the moment, the friend in question is more of an aquaintance than part of his main group.

I am really just asking if the C-Card I downloaded and discussed in detail with him last year is enough, sense checking if I should provide a stash of condoms too and advice on brand/type as I don't use them personally (been with dh since 21).

I think it’s a good idea and sensible, type wise Amazon often have deals on dudes condoms and do “normal” ones in the thin feel or invisible range

My ds is 16 and he is mortified when I even mention anything to do w sex - obv he knows all about it and consent etc but on a personal level he is not interested in discussing it. As far as I know he’s not had sex although he’s def snogged a girl.
I would possibly leave durex - just the regular type - in the bathroom cabinet so he can take if he wants - but not too much discussion! I haven’t done that though as there’s not much scope for sex in lockdown. Once he’s out and about again I might bung a few johnnies in my teens’ bathroom!!

If you google 'free condoms' there's normally a list of places where you can pay p&p and a health service will send them to you.

I'd put a pack in his room and have more in the bathroom just in case. It's not remotely cringe - and even if it was, would rather the cringe than an unwanted pregnancy or std

I raised my three DS alone . Their respective fathers (one's same-sex parent is one's primary role-model ) were useless on all levels and I knew that the teaching of intimacy , relationships and sexual safety would fall to me.
I bought them their first razors , first suits , first condoms - it felt like a right-of-passage . When they were in established relationships I bought them a splendid book about sexual etiquette and how to give a woman true pleasure .
In their Christmas stockings - amongst the socks , pants , nuts , tangerines , Terry's chocolate oranges , toys , gizmos and little tins of anchovies or Gentleman's Relish they find condoms .
They know about tampons too .
P.s. They are 35 , 32 and 25 years !

I bought mine condoms

I have bought mine condoms too. And there’s a big basket in the family bathroom which I refill as and when necessary. I don’t use them, they’re for the dc and anyone else that visits that might need them. Same as the basket of sanitary towels and tampons also available.

I gave ds a couple paCks for his 15th birthday. Not part of a present but at the same time. So far he hasn't DTD.They are under his bed but he is 16 in March so will need them at some stage.

I told my DS we always have them in the house and while I'd planned to put them in the bathroom for him, he wanted them sooner than I'd anticipated and came and asked me for them.
However we are very rural and nearest C card place is two bus journeys away!

Having had unprotected sex far too often myself as a teenager, I would much rather my DS had easy access to condoms than went without.

@Gobbledygook20

I gave ds a couple paCks for his 15th birthday. Not part of a present but at the same time. So far he hasn't DTD.They are under his bed but he is 16 in March so will need them at some stage.

Do check the date on them!

Oh and our area at least you can order them free online through the council website.

They are within date lol. Parents should bear in mind to provide the extra large size Skyns (for example) for the more well endowed. Plus a tube of lube wouldn't go amiss. Ds learned about anal sex when in primary school as part of their sex ed they seem to know a lot more these days than we did!