Should I make dd pay for her own clothes?

[sharonruth1982]

DD is 15 (year 11) and will be attending sixth form next year, so will need her own clothes for every day.

My DD has never had a LOAD of clothes (though enough to last her) since she doesn't go out much, and tends to just wear her school uniform (after school), work out clothes (usually leggings and a t-shirt, or her PE kit if she's already wearing it) or her pyjamas (a hoodie or t-shirt and leggings/joggers) around the house. Before mufti, she usually buys a new t-shirt or wears whatever's in her wardrobe.

However, she would like some more/different clothes ready for sixth form (she knows it's ages away, but wants to get used to/comfortable in the clothes she wants). She wants to start layering (t-shirts over turtleneck t-shirts) and would like some more t-shirts to choose from in her wardrobe. She's also thinking of getting some printed shirts with tropical patterns. I will likely pay for most of them, but I don't know if, since she's getting older, I should start asking her to contribute some money to her own clothes. I don't know if I sound awful saying that, or if anyone's groaning that I'm not making her pay already, but, usually, she orders her clothes off eBay (because she LOATHES shopping for clothes in clothes shops due to not liking the clothes and because she can never be bothered with it) or other online stores. She likes wearing t-shirts and hoodies that are geeky (i.e. have anime/Star Wars things printed on them), and they usually cost £7-£15. I don't mind paying for her clothes, and, usually, we can afford it, but I'm not sure at what age she should start paying for her own clothes.

She has almost £200 saved up from her birthday, chores, pocket money and Christmas, and said she'd like to save up for Star Wars Lego sets, but I'm sure she'd be willing to spare some money to contribute to paying for her clothes if that's what you all suggest.

Any input would be nice and helpful!

200 quid isn’t much. If you can afford them why don’t you buy them? She doesn’t sound expensive.

I would only ask them to contribute if they start getting a taste for expensive clothes, then I would just give a monthly budget or something.

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince

I'm really willing to pay for them! I was just wondering if I was being too passive paying for them.

Thanks for the advice!

Could you give her a clothing allowance, either monthly or seasonal? So she learns to budget and think carefully about what she's buying. I think if you'd be happy to buy her school uniform, it seems harsh to suddenly declare she has to buy all her own clothes especially if she doesn't have a part-time job.

I'd give her a little more pocket money and have her be responsible for buying her own clothes. It will help her understand how to budget.

Agree with pp, if you can afford it, buy them for her. It doesn't sound as if she has a lot of clothes and it isn't as if she wants designer stuff. Going forward, you could give her a clothing allowance, I used to give mine the child allowance, although this was many years ago and I don't know how far that would stretch now!

Give her around what you would spend on uniform?

She’s still a child. You should absolutely pay for her clothes unless she wants something designer.

Thanks for the advice everyone! I think a clothing allowance is a great idea!

Could you increase her pocket money and say that from now on she should buy her own clothes. She learns to budget and takes on responsibility for it.

DD has just started 6th form and we give her £65 pcm. From that she has to buy clothes and fun stuff. It's basically her part of the child benefit. We buy underwear and basic toiletries, school uniform and sportswear, bus pass for school and back. Just started and I feel like it is a good way of giving her some independence and teaching her the value of money.

Only on Mumsnet have I seen people expecting 15 year olds to pay for their own clothes 🙄. Buy the clothes she needs.

I don't think she should be paying for her own clothes if she isn't earning. Her birthday money was for treats in lieu of gifts. Can she get a bit of a Saturday job?

because she LOATHES shopping for clothes in clothes shops due to not liking the clothes and because she can never be bothered with it... eeek and double eeek !.

I've got an 18 and a 16 and ALL they seem to do is shop for clothes, that and play with their bloody phones, its an obsession. Their rooms are overflowing with clothes. Personally I've got a thing about fast fashion and the waste it generates but try having that conversation with my two and they'd have to lie down in a darkened room for an hour.

Yes you should pay at 15 unless she wants designer things.

My DC got $50 a week at that age, before they got after school jobs.
That money paid for everything.
Phones, lunches, outfits, outings, presents, hair cuts, makeup etc.
It taught them how to budget and how to prioritise needs over wants.
We stopped paying after they got their part time jobs.
For this money they were expected to cook once a week, clean up twice a week, feed the pets, do their own washing and clean their rooms and bathroom

I think I’d lean towards the monthly allowance/budget (for phone topups, eating out, not just clothes - do teenagers really have to buy new ones every month?) and then if she wants to spend over that she’ll have to pay the excess, by pt job or doing extra ‘big’ chores for the household (clearing out loft/garage, that sort of thing)

They start paying for their own clothes when they have a job or they want some really expensive branded clothing

Buy the clothes she needs. If she wants expensive items then ask her to pay for them or to have them as Christmas/birthday gift.

DS is 16, just started college. I bought him a load of basics over the summer as I saw it as the same as buying uniform if he'd been at school still.
I tend to buy him his sports kits for various hobbies, basic joggers, tshirts, jumpers and socks/boxers, etc.
He normally asks for more expensive stuff for Christmas and birthdays, then uses his own money to buy other stuff.
We do the same arrangement for DSD who is 14 also.
If your DD is only looking for clothes that cost £7-£15, that seems really reasonable, especially if she hasn't got many.

She's 15 years old! At what age does she need to start buying her own food?

It’s good she’s thinking ahead and having a chance to build up what sounds like a minimum wardrobe for a 15 year old. I would have hated wearing my school uniform or PE kit in the evening

There are some great clothes options out there, she’s using eBay. . Please help your DD prepare for college, if as you say you can afford it

Ffs. She's a child with no capacity to earn money. You admit she doesn't have a lot of clothes and age doesn't want expensive stuff. Poor kid just wants to look a bit more stylish for college. Buy her what she needs. Why would anyone even expect a child to buy their own clothes out of pocket money?

Definitely a monthly clothing allowance to pay for ordinary day clothes and shoes.

If she wants something frivolous (sounds unlikely!) she can buy that with her savings.

I gave DS £200 when he started sixth form college. It was up to him how he spent it but he knew what clothing he needed.

Generally speaking I treat him occasionally- he likes brands- but otherwise I expect him to save, or put up with unbranded stuff.

I took my DD's shopping before they had to wear their own clothes. Admittedly they had more than you describe but I allowed £100, plus bought shoes and underwear in the correct size, not cheap as they had narrow backs. I then gave them a monthly allowance that had to include everything, future clothes, food at college, transport and going out. One dd was more enterprising and bough ingredients and made packed lunches selling them to friends! She also cycled to college over 3 miles ... more money for clothes!