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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I make dd pay for her own clothes?

48 replies

sharonruth1982 · 26/09/2020 21:54

DD is 15 (year 11) and will be attending sixth form next year, so will need her own clothes for every day.

My DD has never had a LOAD of clothes (though enough to last her) since she doesn't go out much, and tends to just wear her school uniform (after school), work out clothes (usually leggings and a t-shirt, or her PE kit if she's already wearing it) or her pyjamas (a hoodie or t-shirt and leggings/joggers) around the house. Before mufti, she usually buys a new t-shirt or wears whatever's in her wardrobe.

However, she would like some more/different clothes ready for sixth form (she knows it's ages away, but wants to get used to/comfortable in the clothes she wants). She wants to start layering (t-shirts over turtleneck t-shirts) and would like some more t-shirts to choose from in her wardrobe. She's also thinking of getting some printed shirts with tropical patterns. I will likely pay for most of them, but I don't know if, since she's getting older, I should start asking her to contribute some money to her own clothes. I don't know if I sound awful saying that, or if anyone's groaning that I'm not making her pay already, but, usually, she orders her clothes off eBay (because she LOATHES shopping for clothes in clothes shops due to not liking the clothes and because she can never be bothered with it) or other online stores. She likes wearing t-shirts and hoodies that are geeky (i.e. have anime/Star Wars things printed on them), and they usually cost £7-£15. I don't mind paying for her clothes, and, usually, we can afford it, but I'm not sure at what age she should start paying for her own clothes.

She has almost £200 saved up from her birthday, chores, pocket money and Christmas, and said she'd like to save up for Star Wars Lego sets, but I'm sure she'd be willing to spare some money to contribute to paying for her clothes if that's what you all suggest.

Any input would be nice and helpful!

OP posts:

Pipandmum · 26/09/2020 23:24

My son buys his own clothes but he's 17, in college and has a job four days a week.
I certainly would not expect my 15 year old, who has £300 saved because she never wants to buy anything, to spend her own money on clothes she needs! Her saved money is for treats and something special, not for regular clothes she needs.

Neolara · 26/09/2020 23:25

My dd has just started sixth form. She had few clothes. I spent about £120s on basics and now give her £50/ month to cover everything. She is terrible at spending money (she can't bring herself to buy things) so I reckoned this was a good way to help her learn to manage money better

MintyMills · 26/09/2020 23:27

Is this real? Of course you buy her clothes. All of them.

The exception to this is if she insists £150 trainers and £70 tops. Until that happens, you supply an adequate wardrobe of clothes

SantaMonicaPier · 26/09/2020 23:28

DD is 12. She gets generous pocket money so is expected to use that for most of her clothes. The exception is school uniform, coats and school shoes plus I buy her basics like underwear and t-shirts etc.

CokeEnStock · 26/09/2020 23:44

My dd is 16 and currently gets 80 euros a month plus her phone. She doesn't have school uniform so I gave her cash to get the jeans and hoodies etc she needed for back to school. The current thing is I buy basic clothes and if she wants Superdry type stuff she has to buy it herself. I have suggested upping the allowance so she pays for all clothes herself (learning to budget) but she wasn't keen 😂

Travelban · 27/09/2020 07:01

My Dd1 is the same age and I buy her clothes, although she has also used birthday money sometimes to top up.. But I dont expect her to.

I would rather pay than her feel she needs to fins a job to pay for stuff right now.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/09/2020 10:46

She is still a child, I would be paying for all her basic clothes plus some optional/for choice, unless she wanted something extortionate/designer, then I would pay the normal amount towards it and she can top up.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/09/2020 10:48

I probably just give her what uniform for the year would cost and send her off to kit herself out for college.

She can have pocketmoney to use for top ups, and I'd happily switch to cash at Christmas and birthdays .

relievedlady · 27/09/2020 10:50

Same age dd and also talking about sixth form clothes.

We have said we will give her the equivalent of what her yearly uniform and pe kit is and she can put to it if she goes over that amount.
Probably around £200.

We've already bought her dr martens as her feet have stopped growing now and they were £165 so she won't need shoes out of that.

crimsonlake · 27/09/2020 11:08

I really do not understand where you are coming from?
Your daughter is 15 years old, does not have many clothes, she does not earn and you are asking if she should be buying her own?

crazycrofter · 27/09/2020 21:30

My two have had a monthly allowance of £40 since age 12. It pays for clothes and anything else they want (ds has saved two months worth to buy some fitness equipment). I know it’s not a huge amount so if they go out into town with friends in the holidays I give them lunch money. I also buy uniform (obviously!), underwear etc.

nex18 · 28/09/2020 00:16

I buy my children’s clothes including my just turned 18 year old dd who is in 6th form and has a part time job. I buy what they need. Underwear, jeans, school clothes etc. My dd buys herself lots of clothes she doesn’t need, yet another minuscule dress or crop top, Victoria Secrets lace thongs etc. She also buys her own makeup and beauty stuff, pays to get her nails done. My ds has to use birthday money to top up from reasonable price football boots to the very expensive ones he actually wants.
I don’t think you should expect her to contribute to her everyday clothes but if there’s something she wants but doesn’t really need then that’s when she can buy herself.

Yorkshiretealady · 28/09/2020 00:25

I give my DD £100 a month to purchase things she wants. If she needs anything eg coats, shoes etc I will buy additional

GlamGiraffe · 28/09/2020 00:27

Shes not even an adult yet. Shes your responsibility. You need to buy her clothes. Whether thats in the form of directly paying for them or giving her a clothing allowance you need to pay. You can give her your child benefit towards it. Her birthday money is for her yo buy gifts of her own choice, if she wants clothes thats fine but if she wants Lego or anything else thats up to her.
You need to provide everyday clothing, if she wants something excessively fancy and expebsive, she needs to save for it herself. Im assuming you wouldnt make your children pay for their own school uniform, its the same thing🙄

rorosemary · 28/09/2020 00:32

So she saved gifted cash hard and now you want to take that money off of her? What kind of message does that teach her? She's 15 and doesn't have a job. Don't be a dick and pay for your child or give her a clothing allowance.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/09/2020 00:32

It's basically her school uniform, it would be really shitty expecting a 16 yo to buy her own school uniform from her birthday money unless your skint.

Maybe look at what it would cost to dress her at a local school, or what you'd pay for a new uniform in yr11 and tell her that's her budget. Or tell her she can have X no of be tops and bottoms.

HOWEVER unless there's some SEN , I wouldn't be buying them 11 months in advance for her to wear them in. At most I'd buy them at the start of the summer.

Porridgeoat · 28/09/2020 00:36

Give her the child benefit to pay for clothes. Treat it like an allowance

Porridgeoat · 28/09/2020 00:37

When she’s earning cash it will be different but for now she’s not got a proper income

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 28/09/2020 00:43

It's your responsibility to pay for her bloody clothes. She's a child ffs. Why do you suddenly think you have no responsibility to pay for your daughter? Why wouldn't you want her to have nice clothes? Will you soon be asking for her to buy food too? Get a grip.

Pixxie7 · 28/09/2020 00:58

I would she is still your responsibility.

Anordinarymum · 28/09/2020 01:07

If she has saved up birthday money etc then she should not be expected to buy her own clothes with it. If she is still at school it is your job to buy her clothes OP

Sciencebabe · 28/09/2020 01:12

If she is still in education then you will get child benefit for her. That money should go on food and clothes. She shouldn't have to use her own money for the bulk, but I'd take her out and see if she wanted to spend any of her own money on extra clothing while you were out. My parents made me but my own clothes from the agree of 14 and I was so preoccupied with looking for an after school job and earning money for clothes and things that I stopped being able to learn properly at school. I fell years behind all of my peers in education and life goals because I was always worrying about supporting myself.

pointythings · 02/10/2020 17:36

My DDs had a bank account and a monthly allowance from age 11. It was for 'fun' clothes, presents for their friends etc. The amount increased as they went older. It taught them to manage their money and they are now complete savvy shoppers.

And if your DD likes geeky T-shirts, it's worth her spending some time in charity shops looking at the men's tees - my two are into Marvel, Star Wars etc. and have found loads by sifting through the charity shops, for very little money.

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