Is it acceptable to track your teens?

[facefate]

Using an app? If you do, what age are your DC? Do they know you have an app? It kind of makes sense to me, but I'm aware none of that was available when I was a teen and don't know if it's a step too far.

Mine have Find My Friends and I admit to occasionally looking at it (oldest age 15). They know that I can do this but the tradeoff for them is that if they lose their phone we can find or track it.
They can also see where I am. It’s just a part of modern life as far as we’re concerned.

Wrong to do it without their knowledge, probably wrong to do it without their consent.

I have a 12yo and she is well aware I can see her location. I have it simply because she is in Y7 and gets the bus, but I will also use it when she's out and about with her friends. Not to snoop, but to check she's ok.

We use Life360 for our boys 17 & 15. I am not tracking them to see what they are doing, just that I know I can see where they are. It is great for when the 17 yo is out at night. This is totally with their agreement and seems very common amongst their friendship groups!

I tracked my DD with Snapchat maps from when she was 14 after she spent a night not where she said she was! With her consent though ("You can go but you need to turn your map on"). Still use it now she's 17 but obviously she knows I can see her.

Both of mine have Life360 on their phones - 17 and 13 - and have never complained about using it. Useful to see where they are on the way home from school etc. I used to use it a bit obsessively when they were first allowed out on their own, but rarely check it now unless they're late home.

Presume I'll remove DD from the group when she goes to uni next year but not until then!

We can see each other's locations. That seemed fairer. DS is only 12, though.

We share an apple account, so technically I don't need an app. I've used find my iPhone before. Set it up after he lost his phone, but haven't used it for quite a while. He's 15, nearly 16 and I'm starting to have my doubts about where he might at times.

@SpeedofaSloth

We can see each other's locations. That seemed fairer. DS is only 12, though.

Yes. DD and DS can see where DH and I are as well ... it's never very exciting though!

We have find my friends as part of Apple Music, my DS 18 knows all about it and is free to turn off his map if he wants to, but he doesn't it was great when he just started driving as he drives long distances sometimes for football and is nice to know his arrived safety when he forgets the obligatory I've arrived text, he also works late at night so I can sleep well knowing if there's a problem I can find him.

it's never very exciting though!

Same here!

My teens are 13 and 14, we have Find My iPhone (they know about it) but so far we've only used it to locate a lost phone rather than to check up on them. I would if I was worried though.

We have find friends. I’m very careful not to abuse it though and would never say, ‘what are you doing in x place?’
It’s been invaluable on late nights out travelling overseas and I’ve used it to direct 20 yo dd to an embassy on the other side of the world (she didn’t have data but I could see where she was and give her directions via text) and see that another dc was in fact up and out and getting the train to his sisters graduation at 4am. They’re all 20+ now, I rarely look at it and would unfollow them if requested.

It's very frowned upon on Mumsnet (although not so much on this thread but on others I've seen) but I think it's because calling it a trackers implies that you follow them obsessively on your phone. We use Find My as a family on apple so we can all see each other if ever there is a reason. My daughter looks where I am way more than I check where she is!

Nobody objects in the slightest.

We have Find iPhone. They can track me too. No one particularly objects.

Life360 here. I can see whereabouts they are when on their way home from school. Many of their friends have tracker apps.
Nothing like that when I was young thou!

You will probably find findmyiphone has changed since you last used it if it's been a while. It's not as easy to track without the other persons knowledge as it once was - and rightly so for many reasons.

Never have. Should I have been using an app? Is that what everyone does these days?

They government will!

It depends.

DS is almost 16 and I only used it once when he went for a walk with a friend in the middle of the night - this was during the strictest period of the lockdown, when there was nothing exciting at all to do and it served as a form of entertainment.

At other, 'normal' times he was very trustworthy with regards to his whereabouts and was always back home when he said he would be. So I figured there was no need.

DD (13) constantly forgets, changes her mind where she's going, comes home an hour or more later than promised, is 'curious' about smoking and alcohol so she's only allowed outside with a tracker. I very much hope this is a 'phase' but for the time being it is what it is and I will do everything I can to ensure she's safe.

Nope. Dds now in their 20s and ds 18 but never tracked them. I wouldnt want someone tracking me, so I don't track them.However did previous generations manage?

@dementedma we share our location with kids too, so they sort of 'track' us as well, but of course no one can be bothered to look at it unless it's actually needed.

We share our locations via Find my friends my DD is in fact happy with this, we also share snapchat map which is sometimes more accurate than iphone- she can track me too to find out how long I will be to pick her up etc

We all have find my iphone switched on incase a phone is lost, but also use it occasionally when ds texts to ask can you pick me up and doesnt say where he is, or he can check where we are or how far we are from picking him up. We usually let him do what he wants because he is usually sensible so never been a problem. Until last night.

Friend had an empty and parents said they could have a couple of friends around, which ds told us earlier in the week had turned into a (very covid illegal) party invite for around 40 kids. ds wanted to go (not that sensible!), friends told him to just say they were going out for a walk, but he didn't because he thought we might have looked and seen where he was.

If there wasnt a pandemic I would have had no problem with him going, but this has put a completely different spin on it.

My 2 DS’s are linked to me on find my friends, they’re in my family group. I rarely use it for the 14 year old now, but he went through a bad 6 months, one night he was meant to be staying at a friends and they were out walking the streets at 2am so I drove straight to them and got them! Nearly 11 year old has just started walking to shops etc on his own and is a bit impulsive so it’s reassurance. I listen to too many true crime podcasts not to have it activated it at all but I imagine it would be less and less as they are older